is it ever okay to hit your kids?

[BEER]

You are . . . but to me the differences are where and how you're doing it. One is for disciplinary reasons (on the butt) and the other (anywhere not the butt) is often because the parent is upset with the kid.

I don't disagree that there is a difference between striking out in anger and striking for discipline.

But you're still hitting your kid. There are tons of studies that show that spanking is bad for a child's development. But of course, it's battled by anecdotal evidence like "I was spanked and I turned out alright". Or even just useless conjecture like "look at these kids who don't get spanked, they are so bratty and entitled!", even though you have no way of knowing whether or not that kid you're bitching about has been spanked or not.

I was one of those kids who was spanked and "turned out alright".

Even though I grew up with anger and resentment issues that I'm only just now starting to get over, at 26 years old. Despite the fact that I've battled with mental health issues my entire life.

But those are my problems, and despite countless studies, there is really no way that any of it has to do with spanking.

At least I'm not an entitled brat, feel me?

 

[mjmj]

No it isn't. It's done out of either ignorance or anger or both. We now have tons of study data that shows hitting your kids will fuck them up and is the least effective form of discipline.


All it teaches them is I'm bigger and stronger, listen to me or I'll hurt you. Great lesson to teach someone still growing and learning right from wrong. Once they grow up it will never be ok for them to hit someone else, and they'll have to unlearn the violent impulses YOU have tought them as their parent.

Let me guess, you’re a liberal in your late teen/early 20s, and no kids of your own? here’s a little news flash, people have been raising kids for centuries, and they didn’t need little “studies” to tell them how to do it. funny how people who have never reason a goldfish can now tell us the best way to raise our kids. How about you all STFU and let us raise our kids the be strong, smart, adults that know right and wrong. When you’re old enough to have kids, you can raise them to be the pussies you want them to be.

 

[spamking]

No it isn't. It's done out of either ignorance or anger or both. We now have tons of study data that shows hitting your kids will fuck them up and is the least effective form of discipline.

When done properly is definitely effective.

All it teaches them is I'm bigger and stronger, listen to me or I'll hurt you. Great lesson to teach someone still growing and learning right from wrong. Once they grow up it will never be ok for them to hit someone else, and they'll have to unlearn the violent impulses YOU have tought them as their parent.

Disagree completely. Discipline handled properly isn't teaching anything close to violent impulses to anyone.

 

[weed]

yes.........


with knowledge.

I'd go even further & encourage to kill them..........


with kindness.

 

[mjmj]

But of course, it's battled by anecdotal evidence like "I was spanked and I turned out alright".

That "anecdotal evidence" means a lot more than any bullshit "study".

 

[SheetsMMAfan]

When my kid acts up and is unbearable, she gets warned. When she continues to be unruly and or unbearable, she gets her ass smacked and sent to her room. Afterwards, we explain to her why we did it, and tell her ways she can prevent it. Ways like going to her room, gathering herself, coming back out when she feels better.

Now that she is 4, when she is bad, she runs to her room and chills for a little. We watch her on a camera, see her calm down, see her start playing in there and coming around, then she comes out and she is fine. We then talk to her about what she was doing, and tell her why she shouldn't be saying or doing that and move on. We don't have the same conversations too often, she knows.

Being the big dog and threatening to beat your kid only to not do it leads to bad kids. Beating your kids too much leads to bad kids. Beating your kids AT ALL leads to bad kids. Having a kid can lead to bad kids.

Don't just haul off and beat your kid without warning or explanation afterwards.

This is all my philosophy, and I feel it works. Treat your kid as a person, as a human being, and not as a kid. Don't wear baby gloves around your kid. Don't be a pussy.

 

[Mike]

Not true.

It's absolutely 100% true.



http://www.domesticviolenceroundtable.org/effect-on-children.html


http://www.nctsn.org/content/children-and-domestic-violence



TLDR: Violence towards children or even witnessing violence as a child can effect neurological development, cause ptsd, depression, bed wetting, increased violence and aggression, anxiety, difficulty concentrating (which will effect their grades), alcoholism and abuse of other substances, etc.


It's not open for debate at all. Violence makes humans worse in every measurable way. It's not a form of discipline, it's the result of people being too goddamn lazy to actually discipline their children and teach them right from wrong.

 

[Horse Style]

@Mike90 , don't do it. Don't respond. You've seen this thread done multiple times in the past and you know how it plays out. Don't get sucked in.

This thread is just going to end up 4-5 pages of arguing and no one even coming close to relenting their position

 

[BEER]

That "anecdotal evidence" means a lot more than any bullshit "study".

Fuck science and widespread results, right?

Some dude who probably has a host of issues saying "I turned out alright" is definitely more informative than multiple comprehensive studies on the subject.

You right.

 

[MoparOrNoCar]

My dad made it simple. He said follow the rules, don't lie, use common sense and you'll be fine. If you decide not to, then I'm going to bend you over and spank your ass until you realize that there are consequences for your actions.

After a few painful ass whippings, I soon realized what I should and shouldn't do. I knew it was my dad disciplining me. It didn't teach me to just hit people when I don't like what they're doing. Shit like that comes from poor parenting and poor communication.

My dad also never hit us anywhere other than on the ass. No disrespectful slaps on the face, mouth or back of the head or anything like that. It was also more of a process. He would wait until we got home and then tell us to go to his room. At that point he would explain to us what we did and then we would get disciplined for it.

 

[spamking]

I don't disagree that there is a difference between striking out in anger and striking for discipline. But you're still hitting your kid.

That's all I'm saying . . . call it spanking or whatever you want. Hitting and spanking carry different meanings to most of us, but yes we understand spanking is considered hitting by definition.

There are tons of studies that show that spanking is bad for a child's development. But of course, it's battled by anecdotal evidence like "I was spanked and I turned out alright". Or even just useless conjecture like "look at these kids who don't get spanked, they are so bratty and entitled!", even though you have no way of knowing whether or not that kid you're bitching about has been spanked or not.

I grew up in the 70s and 80s . . . parents disciplined their kids in public pretty much like they did in private the vast majority of the time (at least mine did and my friends parents did) so it isn't too much of a stretch to assume that if a kid is behaving like a total monster out in public and mom/dad do absolutely nothing about it (remove the kid from the location, pop the kid on the butt, etc.) the kid isn't disciplined via spanking.

I was one of those kids who was spanked and "turned out alright".

I hope you are . . . but then you go on and say what you did below . . .

Even though I grew up with anger and resentment issues that I'm only just now starting to get over, at 26 years old. Despite the fact that I've battled with mental health issues my entire life.

But those are my problems, and despite countless studies, there is really no way that any of it has to do with spanking.

If there is really no way to know then why suspect it's possibly due to spanking?

At least I'm not an entitled brat, feel me?

Good. We definitely don't need anymore of those . . .

 

[Mike]

That "anecdotal evidence" means a lot more than any bullshit "study".

If you have a brain unable to process information sure. Every scientific study that's ever been done has found that, shockingly, hitting people doesn't teach them shit. People that disregard scientific data for there own uninformed opinions shouldn't be taken seriously.

 

[spamking]

@Mike90 , don't do it. Don't respond. You've seen this thread done multiple times in the past and you know how it plays out. Don't get sucked in.

This thread is just going to end up 4-5 pages of arguing and no one even coming close to relenting their position

It always does . . . always.

 

[mjmj]

Fuck science and widespread results, right?

Some dude who probably has a host of issues saying "I turned out alright" is definitely more informative than multiple comprehensive studies on the subject.

You right.

Not some guy, but MILLIONS of people. But sure, trust your little study performed by someone with a goal.

 

[Mike]

I call bullshit on those studies.

Yes every single study ever done was.... I don't know faked or had an agenda.... against... violence? Listen to yourself.


It's widely accepted by psychologists that have many years of schooling and training that violence is the least effective form of behavior modification. There is literally zero debate on this subject in the scientific community because it's so well established.


you use science in your every day life, are talking to me through a device made possible by science, use it for every facet of your every day life. Yet you feel comfortable saying nah, I have a gut feeling it'sall bullshit while doing ZERO research.



You don't believe it, go look into those studies. We're not talking one study that involved 50 people. We're talking hundreds and hundreds of studies involving thousands of people conducted over several generations.

 

[spamking]

With each of us being raised in such different environments it's really hard to account for each and every variable that could influence the development of a kid . . . or heck even the development of young adults who are new parents.

I mean families with more than one kid often end up with kids developing differently even though they were very likely raised in the same manner and taught the same things . . . why would one turn out to be this way and the other that way?

Then sometimes the kids turn out pretty much the same and in turn raise their kids like they were raised, treat their spouse like they saw their parents treat each other, etc.

 

[Imalive]

It's absolutely 100% true.



http://www.domesticviolenceroundtable.org/effect-on-children.html


http://www.nctsn.org/content/children-and-domestic-violence



TLDR: Violence towards children or even witnessing violence as a child can effect neurological development, cause ptsd, depression, bed wetting, increased violence and aggression, anxiety, difficulty concentrating (which will effect their grades), alcoholism and abuse of other substances, etc.


It's not open for debate at all. Violence makes humans worse in every measurable way. It's not a form of discipline, it's the result of people being too goddamn lazy to actually discipline their children and teach them right from wrong.

Not true.

 

[shonuf]

No. If you need to hit your kids it's because you don't know how to handle the situation and don't know what to do.

 

[billiam]

It depends on the kid. If they are smart, you can explain to them what they did wrong and punish them with non violent methods. If they are dumb as shit you gotta beat them. In regards to TS's kids, they will definitely need an ass whooping if they are somehow biologically yours.

 

[AndersonStreet]

I used to get beat with a giant wooden spoon like a foot long. One side had a happy face one side had a frownie face.

When the frownie face came up, you were in for a beating.