is it ever okay to hit your kids?

[Amerikuracana]

Where would a kid learn such aggressive behavior?

Brothers and sisters fighting? 4 billion years of evolution.

 

[Cool Hand Luke]

this thread made you that mad bud?

furious!

 

[MardyBum]

It's not, it's a shitty way to educate your child unless you're already a negligent cunt in which case you'd ignore this thread anyways.

 

[frye666]

Of course it is ok. I don't mean beat them, and it doesn't even have to be painful. Just the act of it will really make the kid stop and re think EVER doing it again. I slapped my GD's hand when she was three because she was trying to stick something in the electric socket. I doubt I would have killed a mosquito with the force I used. But she looked at her hand like it was burnt with lava. And she never tried it again.

 

[frye666]

I hope you realize how silly this position is. If you can explain to them, with words, in a way they understand, what was the point of the spanking in the first place?

I love when people say "well uuhhhh some kids only learn through spankings". So how does your kid learn anything in school without the teacher backhanding him everyday?

My son, now 19, was kicked out of 4 public schools. He was sent to counselling, doctors, programs etc etc. He simply didn't give two fucks. He would just mouth off any teacher trying to say anything to him. Same at home. He would just fight kids and pull tantrums and break shit non stop. I dealt with this for years and nothing worked until he got older. At one point a teacher was talking to me about what to do and I said, smack the shit out of him. There is ZERO other options that will work. He sort of laughed and said he wish he could.


So yeah...

 

[Phelly2]

if you have kids and don't watch them based on the studies you've read about I'd be more likely to agree with you believing this. You don't though, and you wouldn't unless you're a complete fuckwit. Studies are skewed. Only morons aren't aware of this.

Can you elaborate on the idea that all studies are "skewed" (and by that, I assume you mean "wrong")?

"only morons aren't aware of this" is not an argument.

 

[ghoul]

Nope. My mother never hit me, she scared me enough to not do bad things anyway.

 

[Phelly2]

of course your kid will learn basic movements and milestones without being hit...that is moving the goal posts in this regard

he (and my post) were speaking of spankings as a preventative measure.....basically a cue or anything that will instill in the child an instinctual fear of repeating the same action

you said when you child ran in the street you yelled at her and it never happened again....you yelling at her likely instilled a fear into her which she correlated with running in the street and it worked, correct?

OK, fair argument.
Let's say, for the sake of argument, that yelling at my kid one time instilled a fear of the street into her. Isn't that proof that hitting her is completely unnecessary?

i mentioned my brother who has a bunch of sons but only used spanking as a preventative measure (for running in the street type things) on 1 of them.....al the other kids responded well to verbal commands, the one son never repsonded well to words and was more of a hands on learner

whhen they talk about kids learning how to not touch a hot iron only after they've touched one and gotten burned, i see the spanking (in this sense) as the same exact thing, except the kid doesnt have to get hit by a car to learn his lesson

my brother never spanked the kid for any other reason than to stop and protect the kid from physically harming himself
all spanks were on the butt immediately after committing the action...by surprise, in order for the kid to correlate that shock with the action....

I can see the logic behind this, though I think it's flawed. If you get burned by a hot iron, you fear the iron. But if you get spanked by daddy, you fear the daddy. Not the street... They might associate the spanking with the street, and if you taught them properly along with spanking, perhaps they'll learn. I just happen to think (and my own personal experience confirms) that you can do the teaching without the spanking.

If you, like your brother, never spank the kids except for rare circumstances, like when they do something incredibly dangerous(like running into the street, playing with a electrical socket, etc) I might not think it's necessary, but I do think it's 1000x better than what the vast majority of parents do. Just be aware that studies show that parents spank their kids far more often then they think they do, and for trivial reasons. Once it becomes an option, it becomes the easy (lazy) way to deal with every issue.

https://www.minnpost.com/second-opi...ger-and-trivial-reasons-real-time-study-finds

Parents spank their children much more often than they admit and for trivial misbehaviors, suggest the just-published results of a study based on real-time home audio recordings.


The study also found that parents tend to strike their children out of anger and quite quickly after the children misbehaved — in other words, not as last resort.

Furthermore, the spanking doesn't work. The children in the study who were hit or slapped by their parents typically misbehaved again within 10 minutes.

 

[Jon Stark]

Regardless of some small issues, most of these studies continue to show the same thing, that there is an association between spanking and harm. There are no studies that shows spanking is beneficial. Why continue to do it if most all research and a number of profession associations (Academy of Pediatrics, American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, and others) are in consensus that it's harmful? Just seems dumb.

I Agree with you on all points. My take is spanking is not criminal or child abuse. Based on the laws in Canada, the supreme court voted that parents can in fact spank if they deem fit. Would I ever spank my son? Nope. Do I think Parents who spank are criminals? No. Do I think their methods are draconian and a waste of time? Yes.

 

[Jon Stark]

growing up I knew a family where the mother made her kids go get the belt or the pan, yes the pan, and bring it to her so she could beat them with it. All the while she would be yelling at them about how lucky they were that her own parents weren't there doing what they did to her. She did this in front of our group of friends on plenty of occasions for us to realize that she 1- enjoyed it and 2- clearly had some leftover issues from her own childhood. It's good your friends don't enjoy beating their kids because that would be fucked up and you should be picking different friends.

I think by default using any weapon to hit a child with should be automatic abuse.