Is being a self made man worthwhile?

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Garnet_StrongerThanYou

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I grew up in a messed up family and started from scratch and left home when I turned 18.

I put myself through school and I have a pretty awesome career and a home and a rental property and a nice car, I’m 31 now going to be 32.

Obviously it was rough. I didn’t do much partying or have a crazy amount of fun along the way but I did have some fun while I was at it.

If you’re from a decent family and have security and live at home and spend most of your time partying and hanging out with friends and bbqing and having bonfires,

and having your parents gift you a down payment from your home or help you get a job through connections.

Isn’t that better?

is the pride of being “self made” or “independent” kind of a pointless endeavour?

Is there a downside to taking a lot of help?
 
there is a lot to be said about doing things on your own. you prove to yourself that you're self-sustainable. on the other hand, if you do everything on your own, you won't be able to share those moments with others. i've done most things on my own, and only later in life did i realize how much i missed, by not sharing my experiences with others.

accept help, because choosing to do it all on your own is really to feed your ego, and i think you'll find it more rewarding to experience things with others.
 
seems like an endevour for the ego.

I dont mind getting help from family, as alot of stress is taken away, so I able to excel academically without the worry about money. No debt.

I think the downside would be taking the help for granted. It depends what the individual decides to do.
 
Garnet_StrongerThanYou said:
I grew up in a messed up family and started from scratch and left home when I turned 18.

I put myself through school and I have a pretty awesome career and a home and a rental property and a nice car, I’m 31 now going to be 32.

Obviously it was rough. I didn’t do much partying or have a crazy amount of fun along the way but I did have some fun while I was at it.

If you’re from a decent family and have security and live at home and spend most of your time partying and hanging out with friends and bbqing and having bonfires,

and having your parents gift you a down payment from your home or help you get a job through connections.

Isn’t that better?

is the pride of being “self made” or “independent” kind of a pointless endeavour?

Is there a downside to taking a lot of help?
Click to expand...

My story is very similar except property prices in Melbourne are so astronomically high I didn't buy a house, instead went around the world for 2 years and spent it all.
 
Anything that adds to your confidence and self worth is a good thing...so yes, I’m better for it..
 
facePuncher7 said:
My story is very similar except property prices in Melbourne are so astronomically high I didn't buy a house, instead went around the world for 2 years and spent it all.
Click to expand...

I approve...
 
CI said:
seems like an endevour for the ego.

I dont mind getting help from family, as alot of stress is taken away, so I able to excel academically without the worry about money. No debt.

I think the downside would be taking the help for granted. It depends what the individual decides to do.
Click to expand...

Theres a difference between refusing help and just not having any of course.

Arguably we do live in a world today were this has become harder to do as well, alot of well paid blue collar work has vanished relative to the mid 20th century making social mobility alot harder. Even if you do get into white collar work that often needs a qualification and tens of thousands of debt to go with it.
 
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I got considerable advantage in this life but I do wish I leveraged other opportunities offered to me.

Its one piece of advice I will give my sons take the advantage offered.


If yoy do receive massive gifts like a house you can still consider yourself a self made man who just used hard work. Its illogical but very far from rare.
 
My dad put a gun on the table and said

"I will leave you nothing, you will only get what you earn with this"
 
Self made man here.
Of course the instructions were absent, a few pieces were missing, and the box a bit crumpled, but I got there in the end.
 
If you struggle and become successful, I think you appreciate your life more than a person that didn’t have to struggle.

No shame in getting help. I’d accept it if someone gave me a million bucks.
 
I personally hate receiving gifts. Working for something has much more value than having it given to you.
 
Garnet_StrongerThanYou said:
I grew up in a messed up family and started from scratch and left home when I turned 18.

I put myself through school and I have a pretty awesome career and a home and a rental property and a nice car, I’m 31 now going to be 32.

Obviously it was rough. I didn’t do much partying or have a crazy amount of fun along the way but I did have some fun while I was at it.

If you’re from a decent family and have security and live at home and spend most of your time partying and hanging out with friends and bbqing and having bonfires,

and having your parents gift you a down payment from your home or help you get a job through connections.

Isn’t that better?

is the pride of being “self made” or “independent” kind of a pointless endeavour?

Is there a downside to taking a lot of help?
Click to expand...

Its def worth it. This isn't about just feeling proud, this is purpose and meaning. You faced the challenges of life and made something of yourself, no one came and handed it to you. The people who grow up with everything handed to them often lack this and no amount of fun can satisfy them.

Now you're 30 and you got a great career, make the most of it. Travel the world make up for lost time, do what you enjoy. But thats all secondary. The more important and more difficult thing is to find your purpose and add value in the world.
 
Garnet_StrongerThanYou said:
I grew up in a messed up family and started from scratch and left home when I turned 18.

I put myself through school and I have a pretty awesome career and a home and a rental property and a nice car, I’m 31 now going to be 32.

Obviously it was rough. I didn’t do much partying or have a crazy amount of fun along the way but I did have some fun while I was at it.

If you’re from a decent family and have security and live at home and spend most of your time partying and hanging out with friends and bbqing and having bonfires,

and having your parents gift you a down payment from your home or help you get a job through connections.

Isn’t that better?

is the pride of being “self made” or “independent” kind of a pointless endeavour?

Is there a downside to taking a lot of help?
Click to expand...
Idk Id rather have a rental property and nice car than the free time I spent fucking around in college with people I don't even talk to anymore. You did the right thing, TS
 
One of the costs of living your life is knowing you could have lived it differently had only circumstances, within or out of your control, were different -- and learning how to live with that. Some people like to torment themselves, some people like to excuse themselves, some people like to weigh the contingencies to understand meaning and value. I use the word "like" and not "need," to underscore the volition of abstract thinking; the idea that we voluntarily daydream about what could have been. But if it's been bothering you and you find you can't stop these thoughts, and you've come this far to get some help: call ...the A-Team. *horns*
 
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