Invite 5 current or former MMA fighters to your home for a dinner party

It's all about me apparently. But these memories are gonna be lost to time, who's there to give a shit. As long as you're here, a couple years earlier in art class Brenda, I won't post her last name, we were in art class, and got to have music in a little off building and we were partners, and she had white pants on, this was before the theater burned down. She had her period sitting on my lap and I didn't know what was happening, I just felt my crotch get soaked above where I should be soaking, and we were both covered in blood, and I thought she might've got shot, I didn't know what the fuck was going on, ...so ...I picked her up and ran her like a fucking WW1 hero to the nurses office in a completely different building, it wasn't as cinematic as I'm making it, but i fucking made it happen. I discovered I'm a good guy to have in a crunch. The song that day, how do you forget the radio.
 
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Sitting in Jr. High in the rafters and this dick who thought I was dick started coming up the rafters as we're watching the cheerleaders in assembly, I thought these guys look like they mean business, somebody's gonna get the fuck beat out of them, and then the circle narrows, and luckily it wasn't four on one but I got punched in the top of my head unabatted (how do you spell unabatted?), so I grabbed his waist and momentum and stupidity on his part we went horrible dominoes about ten row down, neither of us were hurt, nobody we plowed over was hurt and we got up and went outside and must've theater danced like three blocks away with a crowd of people and we were equal but I got the jump and beat this guys head in a lawn in a pile of dogshit, with the dog biting at me. The exact moment of the scuffle is in the yearbook. The girls were dancing to Aldo Nova in black leotards when shit hit the fan. And no one was arrested there was no nothing, I got off him because there was no point left, and he got up and everyone was mingling, I missed the bus and hung out with the girl who's yard we were in, and it's a dead memory.

 
NOW IF I WANTED TO THROW A PARTY HOPEFULLY ONE OF THE UFC STARS PREGNANT ONE OF MY SISTERS AND I HAVE A NEPHEW WITH UFC GENES IN THEM.
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Cameras were a thing, and friendos snapped pictures, there's fighting this fuckhead in the street and in the yard. Good pals. I wasn't a brawler asshole, I'm sure you get it in the way i don't, but I could never figure out why there was a random dickhead who wanted my blood without telling me about it. If there's any life to ya, you got it coming, but why always from the side. Of all the fights, only three people I ever knew and saw it coming. That's fucked up. There was a fight brewing and I thought this one was gonna happen for about three weeks, and it never came to be, I went in the bathroom and wrapped my hands in the garbage bag and grabbed a piece of shit out of the toilet and had his locker combination and put it on page 54 of his history book. There's a good follow up, but not worth
 
Wanderlei and Crazy Horse. Round 2, let's get it on!
 
I've still got a book in my lap and a movie paused, and I'm not sure I've pissed in awhile. Hang on.
 
Ralph and Ryan Gracie and Pele and Thiago Silva and Marco Ruas.
 
The fight never happened but there was a million people in the park a long time coming and I had a gun put on my forehead, two different times same park, fights happened around, that's not a fight and it was cinematic in the build up but, but absolutely nothing in the end. Good drinking games in a motel room and long drives with nice girls in dark back roads all night to old cassette music.
 
And there was this time with a cow, ...I thought it was an older sister, but it was the cow's mom.
 
Nick Diaz
Nate Diaz
Tony Ferguson
Conor McGregor
Khabib
 
If i was a UFC guy, walking in with my walk tunes, no question.
 
My first favorite movie, and you know the other one. I have the book. I have the origin of the leather jackets.
 
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