Interesting Aussie/Kiwi interaction I had tonight at a pub

Discussion in 'Mayberry Lounge' started by TankAbbott4Eva, Apr 3, 2019.

  1. TankAbbott4Eva

    TankAbbott4Eva Silver Belt

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    I'm an Aussie in Auckland at the moment (work) and was having a quiet post work beer, just minding my own business, when I saw a fist pointed in my direction. I looked up and saw this drunk ass Kiwi holding it up, so I bumped it. Dude was rapt, "ah dude, thought I'd make a friend before we fuck off." No worries I thought. He had a mate with him who was black, fist bumper appeared to be of Polynesian origin (this will become relevant later).

    Anyway we start talking shit, they ask whether I was Aussie, I said yes. "Ah Aussies are cool man, even when they come over here and shoot 50 cunts in a mosque."

    ......

    His mate was a cool dude, leave this guy alone, he's minding his own business etc, too soon for mosque jokes etc. At this point I'm wondering if these dudes are Muslim or not and they really are angry at white Aussies, wasn't sure where to go with this.

    Anyway we keep talking, he loves Aussies, he has "a :eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek: Aussie cousin who picks up chicks... he's a :eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:....Aussies are :eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:s...." Dude was shitfaced, and it was 6pm NZ time as well, he's gone hard early.

    Anyway the kicker came when he again said Aussies are cool but he's not a fan "of those Africans, those (word rhyming with triggers), "and I mean ER not A" as well as he hugged his friend of African origin. As a pasty white fucker I was very unconfortable with this line of discussion, his mate was cringing a bit too, would appear he says shit like this a bit.

    Anyway, i quickly finished that beer (my first one, hard to handle but probably hard to handle after 17 of them) and began to excuse myself. They were leaving anyway so out we walked, not before hugging it out and he again proclaiming his love for Aussies, off he walked.

    But his suit collar was sticking up. "Hey bro, your collar is all fucked up" i said, so I caught up and fixed it for him. "This is why I love you Aussie cunts ey bro? Now stop shooting up our mosques!" *cue raucous laughter*

    TL;DR: A white Aussie was in an awkward pub conversation with a drunken Kiwi about mosque shooting and racial epithets and felt awkward, but the Kiwi was a good bloke (generally speaking)
     
  2. Coolthulu

    Coolthulu Green Belt

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  3. TheLinguist

    TheLinguist Brown Belt

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    Those were undercover cops, they were baiting you.

    Probably have been keeping tabs on you and your work, burn everything bro, ghost it.
     
  4. SamSchmidt

    SamSchmidt Brown Belt Platinum Member

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    Dude best people I ever met were Aussies. I was sitting in a beachside tiki getting my fucking drink on the beach in Waikiki and I ran up a 150 dollar tab. This Aussie couple I was conversing with paid the whole thing. I couldn't believe it. I tried to say fuck no but they wouldn't have it. Good day. That day.
     
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  5. Sakurabaism

    Sakurabaism Blue Belt

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    So he's basically Animal Mother from Full Metal Jacket.
    [​IMG]
     
  6. squeezewax

    squeezewax Brown Belt

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    If you're an Aussie why would you write down 'ass' and not arse?
    I get sick of Aussies and Kiwis trying to sound American and giving up their own language/culture. It's been really pissing me off for years.
    I've even heard Aussies say they were 'pissed' instead of saying pissed off. They know pissed means drunk.
    Why try sounding American, makes no sense?
     
  7. Iroh

    Iroh The Dragon of the West Platinum Member

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  8. Organic Damage

    Organic Damage Dancing on the ashes of the World

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    Surprisingly anticlimactic story.
     
  9. MarloStanfield

    MarloStanfield The Wild Colonial Boy

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    dude i know was backpacking in NZ and was talking to some maoris after the pub finished and next thing he was kidnapped off the street and taking somewhere and raped for a couple of days by a lot of dudes,
    obviously physically and mentally he was fucked up, he told everyone ho would listen what happened , i wouldnt listen but heard from heaps of cunts the story,
    he went back to face them in court, fuck kiwis i hate those cunts and would never go there and love bashing maoris on the reg, well not much these days
     
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  10. Which Doctor

    Which Doctor The Cabana Boy Belt

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  11. ThaiSexPills

    ThaiSexPills Pulsing tainted viagra

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    I worked with a Canadian of Nigerian decent who would often drop rants on how blacks were no good and how n words were useless.

    To him, he was fine because he was Nigerian but all other blacks were rap music loving criminals. He also hated a lot of other minorities as well. Shit was like working with a white supremacist. I never got comfortable enough to laugh at any jokes he made, even funny ones because the whole time I felt like it was a test.

    It was a weird situation. The guy himself was charcoal black but hated brown people.
     
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  12. LEGS MAHONEY

    LEGS MAHONEY genetically modified man shark

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    I NO TELL!!!!
    I though the story was gonna turn into something like this

    [​IMG]

    Now you disappoint me for not being a stereotype and i hope you feel bad TS.
     
  13. loyalyolayal

    loyalyolayal Steel Belt

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  14. Maaj19

    Maaj19 Purple Belt

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    Wtf is this serious? If so I feel so so bad for your mate
     
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  15. ctrlaltdelete

    ctrlaltdelete Brown Belt

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    You handled this correctly.

    He sounds very drunk. And very conflicted. Half looking for a fight, half venting about his problems.

    People in this condition will swing at you if you say or do something they disagree with.
     
  16. ctrlaltdelete

    ctrlaltdelete Brown Belt

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    Every nigerian I've known has been a very unique person.
     
  17. SammyPops

    SammyPops Gold Belt

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    Not buying it, no differences b/t aussies and kiwis.
     
  18. samfromhtown

    samfromhtown Blue Belt

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    If this is real then that is fucked. Not sure how a dude would recover from that.

    That being said, never understood how people get kidnapped though. I've had guns pointed in my face and I'll take my chances getting shot over being taken anywhere I don't want to go.
     
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  19. Dolomite

    Dolomite Red Belt

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    So, OP - not a lot of time around darker-skin folk?

    Also - you were milliseconds away from getting your head smashed every single time that guy said that he thought Aussies were cool.
     
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  20. Hornett

    Hornett Double Yellow Card Double Yellow Card

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    It’s pathetic why would anyone want to sound American? Probably the most disgusting accent on earth tbh
     

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