Im bored lets make jokes

Tone C said:
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It's true. I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Click to expand...
I read this in norms voice, so good job.
 
Sherlock and watson are out in the woods camping..

In the middle of the night sherlock wakes up watson asking - what do you deduce from the stars in the sky above us?

Watson is silent for a while and then answers that with the endless stars each representing a sun and the visible space being but a fraction of the universe there is a very high probability that we are not alone..






No you idiot, someone stole our tent..
 
Had a buddy get in a car wreck in high school. It gave him a neuro condition where he would have an orgasm every time he sneezed. I asked him if he was taking anything for it. He said "yeah, pepper."
 
For Norm...

Michael Jackson says he's having a child... ... ... If it's a girls he said he'll "name it Sharon"... ... If it's a boy he says he's... "going to have sex with it"... ... Rip Norm! One of the best...

And my ol' go too...

What's the difference between a chick pea and a garbanzo bean?

I've never had a garbanzo bean on my chest...
 
an old joke told in my family ~


Who stands behind every successful man?

A surprised mother-in-law.
 
Husband walks in with a duck under his arm, he says, “ This is the pig I’ve been fucking”, his wife says that’s not a Pig, that’s a Duck. Husband says, “I wasn’t talking to You”.
 
Why did the Brazilian cross the road?
To try and feed a carrot to a bus

How did the Brazilian get out of jury duty?
He had a million excuses
 
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