I'm BANNED from McDonalds!!!!

Discussion in 'Strength & Conditioning Discussion' started by Seraldo Babalu, Dec 29, 2016.

  1. Seraldo Babalu

    Seraldo Babalu Green Belt

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    Brothers,

    The other evening, after finishing a brutal workout , Nobby and I staggered out of the gym. Bent bars, snapped cables, holes in the floor from where a bar loaded with 800 pounds had been dropped off of my back at the end of a set of squats, all indicated that truly Herculean efforts had been made by Nobby and I. Time for the post workout meal!

    We headed to McDonald's for our usual 10,000 plus post-workout meal.

    The line up at McDonald's was frightening. Nobby and I entered, and he commented on the crowd.

    "Watch and learn, Nobby old chap" I remarked, and then I shoved my way up to the front of the line, tossing folk aside and glaring down those who grumbled, before triumphantly reaching the counter. Nobby followed, his trusty motorbike chain dangling from his clenched fist, lest any troublemakers try to protest.

    "We have to eat NOW, Nobby...our muscles are shrinking, for God's sake!" I cried.

    Our turn came to order.

    "Good evening, Sir, and what can I get you?" the cashier asked.

    "Everything."

    "Er..excuse me, Sir? What do you mean by 'everything'?" the pimple-faced punk asked.

    "EVERYTHING!!!" I roared, making a sweeping gesture with my hand, indicating the entire array of hamburgers, fries, pies, etc., in front of us.

    "And make it ****ing quick, sunshine!" I snapped. Nobby's glare persuaded the terrified boy to quickly begin piling every piece of food in sight onto trays- heaps of various burgers, pies, scoops and scoops of fries, etc.

    The waiting was too much- we needed food and we needed it fast. Nobby's patience gave way and, in need of some calories, he grabbed a 'Happy Meal' from the hands of a little boy and wolfed down the contents- not even bothering to unwrap the hamburger! As the young lad sniffled, I reprimanded Nobby, muttering, "You bastard! Get the child something to make him feel better!". Nobby lumbered over to the plastic 'Happy Meal' toy display case, showing all 5 toys available to be collected, punched a hole in it, ripped it off the wall and handed the young lad the 5 toys that had been displayed within. He then punched a lady in the face, snatched her take-out bag, and handed it to the happy lad.

    "Well done, Nobby- your kindness indeed overrunneth!" I commended him.

    Our food took 5 or 6 trips to bring it all to the 3 tables we occupied, and soon we were eating our way through a mountain of food, stopping occasionally to take a swig of whiskey from the bottle I had brought in under my coat.

    Some time later, our hands shaking in effort to force feed ourselves, we finally managed to eat the last bit of food. I stood up, and reeled back- well, it wouldn't be the first time I had eaten until I was sick, but brothers, we Warriors suffer the pain!
    As Nobby and I staggered over to the counter for some napkins, the manager approached us.

    "Gentlemen, we just can't have you coming in here next time and..." he wasn't quite finished when, with a, "'BLAAAARRRRGGHH!!!" I vomited all over him and the front counter as well! I needed to replace those lost calories and, seizing a tray of french fries, I threw down a few bills and staggered out the front door.

    The manager followed us out, informing us that he had called the police. He was quickly silenced by a blow from Nobby's bike chain, and as he lay on the ground, Nobby continued beating him with his bike chain.

    As we drove off, several police cars pulled in to the McDonald's parking lot, one of them running over the unconscious manager!

    Brothers- is it me- or those McDonald's employees? Aren't they supposed to always smile, for God's sake?
     
    Saint Of The K, Luger, RyanR and 2 others like this.
  2. j123

    j123 Pro Sherdogger 500-0-1

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    Let me bang mang
    you sound fat
     
  3. chubbman

    chubbman Yellow Card Double Yellow Card

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    I don't believe that happened.

    I did enjoy the read tho
     
    Luger and Slippery Kantus like this.
  4. bad seed

    bad seed Double Yellow Card Double Yellow Card

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    pics of Nobby or it didnt happen
     
    Gingerdead Man likes this.
  5. LatFlare

    LatFlare EADC

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    where was lex and mongo when all this happening?
     
    BOWHUNTER and Kiwi Tricker like this.
  6. DevilsLettuce

    DevilsLettuce is a bit of a douchebag Banned

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    I like the cut of your jib, TS. In fact - I'm lovin it.
     
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  7. gspieler

    gspieler Silver Belt

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    Cool story. Could've used a vampire, though.
     
  8. blaseblah

    blaseblah Steel Belt

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    This story put a smile on my face
     
  9. Phlog

    Phlog Dad Belt

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    Huge if true.
     
  10. belph

    belph Pissing into the wind.

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    Banging sloots
     
    LatFlare likes this.
  11. RangerDanAndHisBigDogDick

    RangerDanAndHisBigDogDick Black Belt

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    Flamed Broiled is where it's at, brah.

    [​IMG]
     
  12. Iamlegion666

    Iamlegion666 Blue Belt

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    I like the suggestion that it was even possible.
     
    chubbman likes this.
  13. Badger67

    Badger67 Taxidea taxus

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    You shoved the unicorn up your what now?
     
  14. Luger

    Luger Rabbi of Platinum Nation Banned

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    Now you just need to get banned from Sherdog
     
  15. bobthebuilder

    bobthebuilder Special Belt

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  16. Midnighthaute

    Midnighthaute Orange Belt

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    You're 30% body fat, aren't you
     
  17. feelinCrisp

    feelinCrisp Yellow Belt

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    Well done sir. The laughter was much worth the 3 minutes it took me to read this!
     
  18. Z28MARO

    Z28MARO Wood Belt

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    Sounds like Joel from chaels podcast
     
  19. ThunderL1ps

    ThunderL1ps Red Belt

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    Nearly the same thing happened with Olympic strongman and wrestler Ken Patera back in the 80's.
     
    BOWHUNTER likes this.

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