If you could have a Bionic body part....

Discussion in 'Mayberry Lounge' started by Jack Handy jr, Jul 24, 2016.

  1. Jack Handy jr

    Jack Handy jr Silver Belt

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    Which one of your appendages, or Organs would you replace?

    I'd start off with a Bionic schlong the only caveat is.... I'd want to keep my original model attached. So I don't know how that would work tbh and it would have to make that "bionic sound" when the mood was just right.(typed in Barry White's voice).

    And It would have to be something akin to Luke Skywalker's bionic hand though, with retaining all the sensory input, and feeling...really no use having a bionic, yet numb peen.

    After that I would want some type of brain transplant, or half bionic lobe like maybe a left lobe neural net. one side positronic. So I would retain my humanity, but kill when it came to playing jeopardy. A bionic eye with red iris would be bad ass too.

    I know EJAXX would want a bionic tongue. But what about the rest of you? looking for honesty here boys.
     
    Last edited: Jul 24, 2016
  2. loyalyolayal

    loyalyolayal Steel Belt

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    My imaginary clit.
     
  3. Mondo Freaks

    Mondo Freaks Green Gucci Suit Platinum Member

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    Id like my skeleton to be made of carbon fiber.
     
  4. Todd Gack

    Todd Gack Dutch

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    A bionic sternocleidomastoid would be nice.
     
  5. NelmarksGhost

    NelmarksGhost Brown Belt

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    Bionic super skin that allowed me to feel intensely, or nothing at all depending on circumstances. It could also change color and texture like an octopus. Stretch between legs and arms to give me a flight suit. Allow me to appear as an old black lady, or a young asian boy. And of course keep me looking young and beautiful if the situation called for it.
     
  6. Jack Handy jr

    Jack Handy jr Silver Belt

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    Bravo to you sir for not grasping the low hanging nerd fruit that would've been choosing Adamantium for your skeleton.
     
    Last edited: Jul 24, 2016
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  7. Jack Handy jr

    Jack Handy jr Silver Belt

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    Agree.
     
  8. Jack Handy jr

    Jack Handy jr Silver Belt

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    winner.
     
  9. Mondo Freaks

    Mondo Freaks Green Gucci Suit Platinum Member

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    Seems like a burden to be honest. Metal detectors and Magneto would be such a hassle.
     
  10. HARRISON_3

    HARRISON_3 Gold Belt

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    Bionic fist so I could punch holes through heads, and beat off in record time.

    Not necessarily in that order.
     
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  11. Matt4786

    Matt4786 Gold Belt

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    Maybe my heart or lungs. Seems like that'd be the best way to increase overall horsepower. If we can choose connective tissue, then blood.
     
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  12. JSN

    JSN choo-CHOO!

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    Pelvis. Then a sentence of death by snu-snu just becomes snu-snu.
     
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  13. Jack Handy jr

    Jack Handy jr Silver Belt

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    from what I can gather your punch would need to meet a velocity of 7.3/2 x .099(5/5) to achieve a clean fist form hole through a head. any velocities less than that would simply make a head explode in a fantastic manner.
     
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  14. HARRISON_3

    HARRISON_3 Gold Belt

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    That works, too.
     
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  15. Pixelated Porn

    Pixelated Porn Double Yellow Card Double Yellow Card

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    The only way I would get a bionic penis would be if it also functions as a gun. Then I be like "bitch, you getting shot in the face with this thing, now do you want to eat a lead salad or a white sperm spritzer."
    I think she would answer the latter or
    [​IMG]
     
  16. Jack Handy jr

    Jack Handy jr Silver Belt

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    bionic lungs matt? that's kinda weak bro....

    Now if were talking say... lungs that can extract ambient oxygen molecules from water, or the vacuum of space then you'd have something going for yourself but then that would make you a mutant, not bionic.
     
  17. Jack Handy jr

    Jack Handy jr Silver Belt

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    ...you should start posting how you really feel bro.. don't be shy stop holding back man.
     
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  18. Death By Samson

    Death By Samson Silver Belt

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    I've got to go with the Winter Soldier arm.

    [​IMG]
     
  19. Matt4786

    Matt4786 Gold Belt

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    Seeing as this is completely fictional, why shouldn't my bionic lungs be able to do that? They can also undergo a complex fusion and fission process to convert nitrogen to oxygen. And I can spit molten lava.
     
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  20. scorpipede

    scorpipede you do yo thang Baby Smurf

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    I'll have what he's having.
     
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