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If they weren't fighting

Discussion in 'UFC Discussion' started by Macalpinerules, Aug 15, 2016.

  1. Macalpinerules Banned Banned

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    For some reason MMA more than any other sport makes me think of what its athletes would be doing if they weren't fighting. I've often thought about how the lives of fighters would have turned out if they didn't have MMA so I'll share a few.

    GSP: If GSP didn't have MMA he would obviously be an amateur UFO researcher. I could also see him researching other conspiracies like who killed Kennedy and how did the Easter Island people make a stone edifice of Bigfoot Silva before Bigfoot Silva was even born.

    Jon Jones: Jon Jones should thank God everyday for MMA because without it he would be selling his parent's TV and other home appliances in order to get a bump. And without the MMA media and fans watching his every move he likely would run over every dog in the neighborhood before running over the mailman. And all that is before he pulls onto the freeway but that's another story.

    Glover Texiera: Maybe I'm nuts, but without MMA I picture Glover living in Louisiana making a living as a Cajun Chef.

    Anderson Silva: I feel so stupid for writing anything about Anderson because everyone and their mother knows that Anderson would be a volleyball coach If he didn't have MMA.

    Wanderlei Silva: Wandelei would be Brazil's version of Dog The Bounty Hunter. He would go all the way too with the look by growing a mullet and dying it blonde.

    Matt Mitrione: Matt would almost certainly be a local politician. But a bad one of course. Within a week in office everyone would die of water poisoning because Matt would use the city water maintenance money to pay for his dog's veterinary bills. He would blame Dana for all of this of course, even though he never fought MMA and doesn't know who Dana is.

    Joanna J.: Joanna is a bad bitch. She would be living in Russia if it weren't for MMA. While in Russia she would be recruited by Putin as a sexual hitwoman. Her job would be to romantically court Putin's enemies and then kill them in their sleep after she milks their old, wrinkly, corrupt cocks.

    Nick and Nate Diaz: This is the least obvious case of all the fighters. But I'm pretty sure that If Nick and Nate weren't fighting they would be operating a daycare. Milk and cookies would be served in the afternoon and throughout the day Nate would conduct arts and crafts while Nick would show the little ones how to count on their fingers.

    Chris Weidman: when I look at Chris I can't see anything but a garbage man. Maybe he would be driving the truck but surely he would be involved with waste disposal in one way or another.

    Conor Mcgregor: According to Conor he would have been a plumber.

    I'll be back with more.
     
    Last edited: Aug 16, 2016
  2. The guest Banned Banned

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  3. Sparkie Black Belt

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    oh god
    had me chuckling
    all the way through:D
     
  4. Just Creed Gold Belt

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    Weidman, Jones and Diaz....very nice :)
     
  5. Drake Guest

    I'm not reading any of your thread op's until you fight Johny, bro.

    <13>
     
  6. Willek Gold Belt

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    "I'll be back with more".

    No, that's OK.
     
  7. Noko Blue Belt

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    Black beast,leader of the BGF
     
  8. nostradumbass Yellow Card Yellow Card

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    If not for MMA, Jones would probably have been involved in a hit and run, just a few years after crashing another car into a tree wasted. Wait, how does this game work?
     
  9. Dee Devlin Banned Banned

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    CB Dolloway: Porn historian

    King Conor: Flight attendant because he's drop dead gorgeous and people want to be around him all day

    Mighty Mouse: crime scene cleaner. Who better to clean the blood spatter in tight spots

    Daniel Cormier: mall santa
     
  10. surgeyou1 Welcome to the Machida Era...Part Deux

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    Joanna is not hot enough to sexually court powerful leaders.
     
  11. Boomb Hate the game, not the player.

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    When I first saw the title of the thread and the wall of text, my reaction was: [​IMG]

    but I changed my mind and gave you a chance, TS. I must admit that some of the bits are pretty funny, not all of them, though...
     
  12. Shonuffbrad Lead farmer

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  13. Hazuki Ryo Purple Belt

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    Ahahaha perfect
     
  14. abrasion Ancient one

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    Man thats some bs. Everyone knows diaz bros would be running a marijuana dispensary sonewhere in the pacific nw.
     
  15. King Bastar Green Belt

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  16. Macalpinerules Banned Banned

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    lmao Joanna is sexy af
     

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