I went to a evengalist revival under the influence.. I think I got forced converted.

Lol this sounds like a situation straight out of Seinfeld.
 
TS sounds like a Bad Luck Brian MEME.

Was about to *something* *something* *intentions*

- Got converted.
 
Lmao as a Christian, I find this story hilarious. But, I have gone through the same things. People are fucking stupid, speaking in tongues is supposed to allow you to be understood by anyone regardless of language, not speaking in gibberish really intensely. I mean, it's literally the exact opposite. Those people always seem to want money, too. There's always someone who has to top everyone else with their displays too, like they're the most overwhelmed.
 
Slick_36 said:
Lmao as a Christian, I find this story hilarious. But, I have gone through the same things. People are fucking stupid, speaking in tongues is supposed to allow you to be understood by anyone regardless of language, not speaking in gibberish really intensely. I mean, it's literally the exact opposite. Those people always seem to want money, too. There's always someone who has to top everyone else with their displays too, like they're the most overwhelmed.
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They would not stop asking for money. It was insane. And everytime they asked for money they kept playing this peaceful piano music and saying "doesn't it feel so good to give?" And all sorts of stuff.

The tongues thing was weird, but old creepy looking dudes spinning in circles and yelling at the top of their lungs was the weirdest thing I've ever seen. Thank god I was stoned for it.

Also the entire time this woman in her sixties kept winking at me and giving me the fuck me eyes while we husband kept yelling "jeeeeesus. Jeeeeeesus thank you Jeesus"
 
AgonyandIrony said:
They would not stop asking for money. It was insane. And everytime they asked for money they kept playing this peaceful piano music and saying "doesn't it feel so good to give?" And all sorts of stuff.

The tongues thing was weird, but old creepy looking dudes spinning in circles and yelling at the top of their lungs was the weirdest thing I've ever seen. Thank god I was stoned for it.

Also the entire time this woman in her sixties kept winking at me and giving me the fuck me eyes while we husband kept yelling "jeeeeesus. Jeeeeeesus thank you Jeesus"
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Last time I went to a revival like that, they kept talking about how giving will make you rich because you'll get it back 10 fold. I thought it was such bullshit. You don't give give to get back, you give to help, you give to ease suffering, not because you might get a new truck out of it. They were even saying you should give an amount of money that makes you uneasy that you might not make it, because only then is it an act of faith. When you grow up with nights of no electricity and balogna and ketchup for dinner, giving enough to make me worry is a pretty huge request.

They used to do laps around the place. Like running around the pews as everyone sang, that was pretty weird lol. I grew up in an old Lutheran Church and there wasn't an ounce of emotion in the building. No one says a word or makes a move unless they're instructed to, so the difference was so incredibly jarring. It was a culture shock for sure.
 
Dumb thread. Was made just to bait people into trashing organized religion. Try better
 
DyslexicDave said:
Dumb thread. Was made just to bait people into trashing organized religion. Try better
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Meh, maybe. But sometimes organized religion isn't perfect, there's people behind it, isn't there?

I've talked on here before about how they did the whole "Is Jesus in your heart?" thing to me as a little kid in a lot of places after bombarding me with images of Hell and suffering. Fucking traumatic and drove me out of the church. Luckily I found God later on my own.
 
TS and homegirl sound like fun. If you two are ever in San Diego, let's party.
 
Slick_36 said:
Last time I went to a revival like that, they kept talking about how giving will make you rich because you'll get it back 10 fold. I thought it was such bullshit. You don't give give to get back, you give to help, you give to ease suffering, not because you might get a new truck out of it. They were even saying you should give an amount of money that makes you uneasy that you might not make it, because only then is it an act of faith. When you grow up with nights of no electricity and balogna and ketchup for dinner, giving enough to make me worry is a pretty huge request.

They used to do laps around the place. Like running around the pews as everyone sang, that was pretty weird lol. I grew up in an old Lutheran Church and there wasn't an ounce of emotion in the building. No one says a word or makes a move unless they're instructed to, so the difference was so incredibly jarring. It was a culture shock for sure.
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Grew up much the same way. Mom told us we were "camping" and we used the fireplace for warmth/cooking. They even talk about how great it is that you can use an app to donate to the church, or via text. I'm pretty sure I even heard the "whatever you give the lord will give back tenfold" might be a manual out there.

I've been to Catholic mass in my youth, and yeah. Completely different experience.

DyslexicDave said:
Dumb thread. Was made just to bait people into trashing organized religion. Try better
Click to expand...

Yeah, that's it. :rolleyes:
 
AgonyandIrony said:
Yeah, that's it. :rolleyes:
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Well if you are going to try to get somebody to back you to pretend being a church going guy to continue hooking up with some dame then you should probably change your whole approach to hooking up/dating.

Try finding yourself a nice guy at the library or local internet cafe.
 
DyslexicDave said:
Well if you are going to try to get somebody to back you to pretend being a church going guy to continue hooking up with some dame then you should probably change your whole approach to hooking up/dating.

Try finding yourself a nice guy at the library or local internet cafe.
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It sounded like he went because she wanted him to, not because he was tricking her in to thinking he was already going. And I've dated girls less in to the church than her and they all have been pretty adamant about me going to church with them.
 
So what your telling me is I need to convert the old lady to finally get a little anal action? Great.........
 
Oh man There was some strange dude on here years ago who posted a bunch of stuff about how people could have butt sex and still keep their virginity. There was even a website with a bunch of literature on it but I can't find it now. Driving me crazy.
 
Slick_36 said:
There's always someone who has to top everyone else with their displays too, like they're the most overwhelmed.
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I've been to a one of these things before. I went to a prayer camp without knowing what I was getting myself into. The church I was going to one day told me to get on this van and I just got on, not knowing where we were going. Found myself stuck in some retreat for the weekend surrounded by people doing the things described in the OP. It was really weird no doubt, and I had the feeling the people talking in "tongues" were trying to one-up eachother by trying to be the loudest one and trying to prove they're the best Christian there. People wondered why I didn't speak in tongues and I was told that god will eventually come to my heart and allow me to do it.

Would never date a religious girl even for the butt stuff.
 
DyslexicDave said:
Well if you are going to try to get somebody to back you to pretend being a church going guy to continue hooking up with some dame then you should probably change your whole approach to hooking up/dating.

Try finding yourself a nice guy at the library or local internet cafe.
Click to expand...

Jesus says mind your business bruh.

She wants me to go because I party every night and do a fuck ton of drugs. She was homeschooled, wasn't even allowed to watch Disney movies in high school.

Check your autism bruh.

Slick_36 said:
It sounded like he went because she wanted him to, not because he was tricking her in to thinking he was already going. And I've dated girls less in to the church than her and they all have been pretty adamant about me going to church with them.
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This. She was like "hey I'm picking you up Thursday" didn't even ask.


evergreenrider said:
So what your telling me is I need to convert the old lady to finally get a little anal action? Great.........
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Lol! Sorry bruh. Jesus says butt fun is okay.
 
Keep on getting the butt for a little while longer. It might be awhile b4 you find another chick that gives up the butt.

Just get drunk and start spitting out some old school Too $hort, when they ask you to speak in tongues. One of my fav. lines is, "Like one night, she came to my house, and gave me a blow job. She licked my d1ck, up and down, like it was corn on the cob" in reference to the late Nancy Reagan.
 
Well damn, that old bish is still alive at 94. I wonder if she ever heard that infamous Too $hort rap.
 
ventrue said:
Keep on getting the butt for a little while longer. It might be awhile b4 you find another chick that gives up the butt.

Just get drunk and start spitting out some old school Too $hort, when they ask you to speak in tongues. One of my fav. lines is, "Like one night, she came to my house, and gave me a blow job. She licked my d1ck, up and down, like it was corn on the cob" in reference to the late Nancy Reagan.
Click to expand...

Almost every chick I date gives up the butt.. Tattoos and a Mohawk. My dick is a magnet for fucked up girls.

Maybe I'll just do scat man. Bee dot da badda Bo.
 
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