I was a fool and now I'm angry

ThatCasualFan said:
You know you should have tried to kiss her and everything right from the beggining. I dont know how you guys roll in your countries but here we try to do these things right from the start or at least at the very first date and most women seems to like it. When we dont act like this some of them think all we wanted was to be their friends which is really upsetting for both.

Anyway, what you should look now is to what you really want to do. Do you want to date her, to have some of that latina hips you said? If you want to, then go and have it my man. Of course shes with someone else, no woman will be there waiting for you, you have to make your moves. If you love her, make some moves. If you feel like its better to give up, then just give up but i wouldnt stop all contact, leave her at ''stand by'' for some time and hang out with other woman. She may be with this guy but have a crush on you, who knows? You have to try and see what happens.

Never give up on a woman because you think she doesnt want you when you havent even tried or because shes hanging out with someone else at the moment. Thats just dumb.
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This. You need to show intent from the beginning. On a first date/meet you should at least try and hold hands, flirt. Make it man to woman.
 
Cynical outlooks you showcased in your opening post will keep on preventing you from ever meeting a decent woman. Whenever I hear someone talking about how all the members of the opposite sex are the same, all I can hear is "I am the same as what I am complaining about". Source? Vast experience and more importantly - common sense. He who remains true to his ideal, refuses to assimilate with mediocre majority and is ready to withstand loneliness that will ensue because of it is eventually bound to come across a worthy person who also dared to not compromise sacred principles. He who doesn't is destined to wind up with other members of above mentioned group over and over again, hopelessly spewing nonsense how it's the world and not him that has a problem.
 
MusterX said:
You're dealing with a whore. You just thought you weren't which is why it hurts. She's a salsa whore which pretty much makes her a vampire.

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You have mutual friends which means she can inflict further wounds on you. Be very, very careful what you do. Do not underestimate her. You could try to mind control your mutual friends against her but that is a risky proposition. You could try to make her jealous but this is very difficult to do to a salsa whore who has dick on tap. She might just start fucking your friends to make an example out of you.

Best recommendation: Ignore the situation and no I don't mean ignore her. Ignoring her is passive aggressive and she will pick up on it and boil you in a seething cauldron of hate. If you just can't help yourself, if you MUST delve into the lair of the beast then I recommend the following. When you are somewhere private tell her you thought you guys had some feelings but if you were mistaken its no big deal. You put the ball in her court like a man, right to her face. No anger, no jealousy, and no passive aggressive ignoring. Its just as simple as, I thought you had feelings for me, was I wrong?

By doing it this way you don't have to ignore her and have a friend war or any other kind of war. You look like the bigger person and there is an outside chance she will get with you. This is the best middle aged man advice I can give you when dealing with the opposite sex.
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There it is, best advice so far. Direct approach is almost always the best, you're a man so put your shit out there and let the chips fall where they may, playing games is for women/boys.
 
Bang her, then hook up with the Salsa dancer and bang him too and make her jealous, perfect revenge TS.

Damn I'm glad I'm married and don't have to deal with emotional stress of dating anymore, only the emotional stress of marriage and fatherhood which seems warranted given my life decisions.
 
Hogey said:
Once you realize how useless women are shit will start making you look back and laugh. Listen stop giving a fuck about women hangout with your buddies or start hanging out with dudes you look up to or you find interesting begin a relationship and soon science will find a way for men to reproduce with other men, and all your women troubles will be meaningless as we as a society begin to euthanize the female gender.
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Some little Philly break your heart?

Not that you sound bitter or anything?
 
I can't tell by your post if you messed around with her or even kissed her.
 
Tentacle said:
This is another young man I fucked up and now I'm angry at a woman(and myself) type of thread. If you are tired at these type of threads you can move along. I'm drunk too.

Story:

I've have known a woman for maybe 4 months through a friend, where she is also living. Now we have a small number of common friends.

It was instant attraction from start when we first saw each other when watching some movies at my friend's place(where she is living). We are kinda each other opposites in many ways. She is cute seemingly shy and innocent(yeah the story is going that way) while I'm having outgoing, offensive humour and have good perceived confidence. It seemed like a good match. After just seeing each other sporadically during the spring we started seeing each other every other day during July while our common friend was away. Some time before this point I turned off my tinder. We were not dating per se, but did alot of hiking, eating, we even went salsa dancing on one occasion etc. The last couple of weeks the courtly love escaled when we went on trips with our friends. We were very touchy-touchy, shared moments in the sunset type shit. But very courtly stuff.

I did have a suspicion she was seeing someone. Usually, when I'm not infected by a woman's charm, I wouldn't ignore these types of suspicions, especially since my former tinder and dating life has left me very cynical about women in general. If you think someone is up, that is the case in 95% of the cases.

Now, apparently, she's been fucking this fucking this fucking salsa dude she met dancing for a few weeks. She has used "salsa dancing" or "salsa sessions" as a synonym for fucking the salsa dude. Both salsa and fucking do require hip moments so I guess that's a pretty good way to put it.

I can tell you my friends that I'm pretty upset. At her and myself. At myself for not going for the kill when I had the chance and for thinking that all women are not the same. And at her doing heavy emotional flirting while getting her latin rhythms somewhere else.

Now, I would like some suggestions what to do.

Our group was suppose to do something on friday, guess what activity salsa dancing. And for once I think she means real dancing and not a group fuck. If she is real devious that guy will be there.

At this moment I feel like just going to my hometown a few hours away and fuck the brains out of an ex. I also think about staying here and go out and then fuck her friend(who wants me) or someone else in a desperate effort to make her upset(or maybe she doesn't even care) and rebuild my scattered ego. I'm also thinking about breaking all type of contact. OR I will just play around, play cool, fuck her sooner or later and dump her ass. Or just concede defeat and realise the sweet girl next door is a myth and all women are just never ending rational choice algorithms.

Sorry for my emotional and drunken post. I will now go and pass out - or just jump on the first morning train.
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Take her
 
Oblivian said:
I can't tell by your post if you messed around with her or even kissed her.
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This is what I was thinking.

Sounds like the TS was pushing out the friendship vibe too much (4 months?) and didn't make a move.
 
OP, you're pressed for pussy, it ain't nothing. Instead of worrying about who that bitch fucking, why don't you get you some money?
 
BisexualMMA said:
I'd say go bang the ex to clear your mind, or bang the mutual friend if you're packing heat and word will get around. Then you can resume your pursuit with a little less frustration.

What I wouldn't do is attend this thing where she might be salsa dancing with this other guy in front of you. Can't go well. Salsa dancing is his kill zone and you're in his territory.
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Yep I'd bang the friend and my ex and just keep banging her. Sounds like you wanted more she didn't and now you can decide to move on from her or just keep her around to bang whenever it comes up.
 
Bang the salsa dancer too. Then tell her you guys have a lot in common.
 
Every dude in that salsa class is only there because he wants to bang some chick, how a grown man can be into that shit otherwise is beyond me. I did it for a while myself,yes I was trying to fuck some girl, salsa fucking blows.

The costumes are gay as fuck, the music is the sort of shit you hear in an elevator, the bare asses are literally the only reason any dude ever does that shit. Ugh...brings back bad memories, women love that shit though.
 
t.s. i came in here to shit on you but actually i do have something to add.
you mentioned that the girl you were after has a mutual (female i assume) friend interested in you.
one of my friends was in a similar situation he was chasing this one girl and hooked up with her. he was trying to be all romantic but she had other guys and he got hurt.
it turned out the other girl was waiting for him and she pounced after my friend got tired of being dragged around. they have been together now for two years and plan on getting married. point of my post is don't get hung up move on there is always something new and exciting over the horizon
 
TS you sound like you are way over strategizing and missing the forest for the trees. My notes in no real order:

1) you seem to be way to invested for something that looks very casual from the outside. You haven't known each other all that long or been all that intimate. So why so much emotion and stress?

2) all signs seem to point to you being friend-zoned with flirting privileges

3) why all the worry about game and the proper approach etc? If it takes that much effort to get into a relationship then I question how good the match is in the first place. You have the opportunity for regular contact right? If you show who you are (and that happens to be a good person) and the attraction is there on her end, the girl will come to you naturally. Otherwise, even if you are short term successful, things will fall apart when she meets someone more on her wavelength.

Game is for one night stands. Even the dude who wrote that book admitted it isn't useful for long term relationships, which it sounds like is what you ultimately want.

(and why are you so fixated on just this one girl who you haven't even slept with yet?)
 
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