I was a fool and now I'm angry

Tentacle

Purple Belt
@purple
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This is another young man I fucked up and now I'm angry at a woman(and myself) type of thread. If you are tired at these type of threads you can move along. I'm drunk too.

Story:

I've have known a woman for maybe 4 months through a friend, where she is also living. Now we have a small number of common friends.

It was instant attraction from start when we first saw each other when watching some movies at my friend's place(where she is living). We are kinda each other opposites in many ways. She is cute seemingly shy and innocent(yeah the story is going that way) while I'm having outgoing, offensive humour and have good perceived confidence. It seemed like a good match. After just seeing each other sporadically during the spring we started seeing each other every other day during July while our common friend was away. Some time before this point I turned off my tinder. We were not dating per se, but did alot of hiking, eating, we even went salsa dancing on one occasion etc. The last couple of weeks the courtly love escaled when we went on trips with our friends. We were very touchy-touchy, shared moments in the sunset type shit. But very courtly stuff.

I did have a suspicion she was seeing someone. Usually, when I'm not infected by a woman's charm, I wouldn't ignore these types of suspicions, especially since my former tinder and dating life has left me very cynical about women in general. If you think someone is up, that is the case in 95% of the cases.

Now, apparently, she's been fucking this fucking this fucking salsa dude she met dancing for a few weeks. She has used "salsa dancing" or "salsa sessions" as a synonym for fucking the salsa dude. Both salsa and fucking do require hip moments so I guess that's a pretty good way to put it.

I can tell you my friends that I'm pretty upset. At her and myself. At myself for not going for the kill when I had the chance and for thinking that all women are not the same. And at her doing heavy emotional flirting while getting her latin rhythms somewhere else.

Now, I would like some suggestions what to do.

Our group was suppose to do something on friday, guess what activity salsa dancing. And for once I think she means real dancing and not a group fuck. If she is real devious that guy will be there.

At this moment I feel like just going to my hometown a few hours away and fuck the brains out of an ex. I also think about staying here and go out and then fuck her friend(who wants me) or someone else in a desperate effort to make her upset(or maybe she doesn't even care) and rebuild my scattered ego. I'm also thinking about breaking all type of contact. OR I will just play around, play cool, fuck her sooner or later and dump her ass. Or just concede defeat and realise the sweet girl next door is a myth and all women are just never ending rational choice algorithms.

Sorry for my emotional and drunken post. I will now go and pass out - or just jump on the first morning train.
 
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Help me sherdog
 
I'd say go bang the ex to clear your mind, or bang the mutual friend if you're packing heat and word will get around. Then you can resume your pursuit with a little less frustration.

What I wouldn't do is attend this thing where she might be salsa dancing with this other guy in front of you. Can't go well. Salsa dancing is his kill zone and you're in his territory.
 
I would still try and date her

I mean its not like she was cheating on you or anything
 
I'd go salsa dancing with the group, but pay her no attention whatsoever. Dance with other girls instead and show her you're having a great time and don't need her. Chat up everyone else in your group but her. But don't make it obvious that you're ignoring her. Just act oblivious to her presence.
 
So let me get this straight, you were flirting with this girl and sort of seeing her for a few months, and now you’re pissed off because she had a fuck buddy? Were you in a monogamous relationship? It didn’t seem like it from the post and if so, I don’t see what she did that justifies your anger.
 
This is another young man I fucked up and now I'm angry at a woman(and myself) type of thread. If you are tired at these type of threads you can move along. I'm drunk too.

Story:

I've have known a woman for maybe 4 months through a friend, where she is also living. Now we have a small number of common friends.

It was instant attraction from start when we first saw each other when watching some movies at my friend's place(where she is living). We are kinda each other opposites in many ways. She is cute seemingly shy and innocent(yeah the story is going that way) while I'm having outgoing, offensive humour and have good perceived confidence. It seemed like a good match. After just seeing each other sporadically during the spring we started seeing each other every other day during July while our common friend was away. Some time before this point I turned off my tinder. We were not dating per se, but did alot of hiking, eating, we even went salsa dancing on one occasion etc. The last couple of weeks the courtly love escaled when we went on trips with our friends. We were very touchy-touchy, shared moments in the sunset type shit. But very courtly stuff.

I did have a suspicion she was seeing someone. Usually, when I'm not infected by a woman's charm, I wouldn't ignore these types of suspicions, especially since my former tinder and dating life has left me very cynical about women in general. If you think someone is up, that is the case in 95% of the cases.

Now, apparently, she's been fucking this fucking this fucking salsa dude she met dancing for a few weeks. She has used "salsa dancing" or "salsa sessions" as a synonym for fucking the salsa dude. Both salsa and fucking do require hip moments so I guess that's a pretty good way to put it.

I can tell you my friend's that I'm pretty upset. At her and myself. At myself for not going for the kill when I had the chance and for thinking that all women are not the same. And at her doing heavy emotional flirting while getting her latin rhythms somewhere else.

Now, I would like some suggestions what to do.

Our group was suppose to do something on friday, guess what activity salsa dancing. And for once I think she means real dancing and not a group fuck. If she is real devious that guy will be there.

At this moment I feel like just going to my hometown a few hours away and fuck the brains out of an ex. I also think about staying here and go out and then fuck her friend(who wants me) or someone else in a desperate effort to make her upset(or maybe she doesn't even care) and rebuild my scattered ego. I'm also thinking about breaking all type of contact. OR I will just play around, play cool, fuck her sooner or later and dump her ass. Or just concede defeat and realise the sweet girl next door is a myth and all women are just never ending rational choice algorithms.

Sorry for my emotional and drunken post. I will now go and pass out - or just jump on the first morning train.
Lol. Just smash her on friday then just leave her without a trace.
 
Literally all of that actually happened.
 
So let me get this straight, you were flirting with this girl and sort of seeing her for a few months, and now you’re pissed off because she had a fuck buddy? Were you in a monogamous relationship? It didn’t seem like it from the post and if so, I don’t see what she did that justifies your anger.

I do get your point and agree to a large extent. Most of my contacts with women have mostly been fucking on the first, second or third date. Most women I met know, even some might hope for more, that I'm just in for the intercourse. There can be really no misunderstanding. There are no demands, no expectations and no obligations. This is clear. And in that situation I have had a couple of partners at during the same time but it was obvious to all of us this was not leading to anything more.

Now, she has acted as she is falling in love/is in love and has done the exactly the right things for me to fall into the pond too. I argue that there is a fundamental difference in these type of situations. At the same time I can't demand a certain type of behaviour from her part and as a grown man it all falls back on me by allowing this to happen.
 
So you couldnt get the pussy and now youre gonna whine and obsess over this bitch cause she wanted someone elses dick
Are you gonna go try to fight the guy that fucked her also?
 
I'd say go bang the ex to clear your mind, or bang the mutual friend if you're packing heat and word will get around. Then you can resume your pursuit with a little less frustration.

What I wouldn't do is attend this thing where she might be salsa dancing with this other guy in front of you. Can't go well. Salsa dancing is his kill zone and you're in his territory.

yeah, I think you might be right.,,

I'm a terrible dancer, I even made a thread about it. So yeah a big advantage on his part. At the same time I'm pretty good at "Out-alpha" people in person(which I never do) or atleast show for her that I'm cooler. Hopefully he is not a Luke Rockhold type character with superior hip movement.
 
Once you realize how useless women are shit will start making you look back and laugh. Listen stop giving a fuck about women hangout with your buddies or start hanging out with dudes you look up to or you find interesting begin a relationship and soon science will find a way for men to reproduce with other men, and all your women troubles will be meaningless as we as a society begin to euthanize the female gender.
 
Now, she has acted as she is falling in love/is in love and has done the exactly the right things for me to fall into the pond too. I argue that there is a fundamental difference in these type of situations. At the same time I can't demand a certain type of behaviour from her part and as a grown man it all falls back on me by allowing this to happen.
If you guys never clearly talked about entering a monogamous relationship, then she did nothing wrong. "Signals" are open to interpretation and even if she did "fall in love" that doesn't mean she's not attracted to other people. Maybe she was getting dick from the other dude because you weren't making moves fast enough.

I send signals all the time to girls and I'm not faking it because I really do like them. But I still fuck other chicks. Doesn't mean I like the other girls less.
 
It was four months it doesn't matter at all in the least. You young guys have to bounce back from these months long bullshit "relationships" you dated it didn't work out. Oh well. You had some fun but down the line you won't remember it at all. Go get laid. No end of relationship is thread worthy if you have less than a year in.
 
Is the girl in question Hispanic? I'm just assuming if she likes salsa...
 
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