I suck at interviews apparently (advice thread)

Discussion in 'Mayberry Lounge' started by FightsFTW, Dec 29, 2016.

  1. astrozician

    astrozician Orion's Belt

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    I'll offer this:
    It is like speed dating; be prepared for more rejections than acceptance.
    Dress and act as professional as possible. Jacket, tie, ironed, well groomed, no foul odors. Have a portfolio, resume, and references. Manners; clear voice.

    Do not lie on your resume. You don't want to work for a bumbling idiot; a competent manager will pick up on your dishonesty, which is a deal-breaker. Example, "I once beat up 5 Navy Seals..."
    Ask questions; it shows them that you're genuinely interested, and it gives them a chance to talk and give you a better idea what they're needs, wants, and fears are. Example, "What is your idea of the ideal candidate? or Please tell me more about the vacancy? What happened to the last guy?" - If the last guy is in the hospital, you might have second thoughts.

    Value Value Value... cannot stress this enough, convey the idea that you are valuable and that you will be worth every penny of your compensation, and be ready to defend this with examples or your ideas. Give them the sense that they'd be foolish not to hire you. Example, "At my last job, fights went down 50% when I was the bouncer, and the ladies always smiled at me." or whatever. "I never talk smack" Gossip is a big problem in a lot of workplaces. Sell your intangibles, example : "I make it a priority to show up on time and never give my boss any headaches. You can trust me." etc.

    In the end, be yourself, sell yourself.

    After the interview, be aggressive... if you get denied, ask why. Example, "I'm sorry it didn't work out. If you don't mind me asking, how can I improve myself?" You may get a mixed response, and if they end up being a prick about it, consider it a bullet dodged. Working for assholes always ends badly.
     
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  2. TCE

    TCE The Three Piece with the Soda Platinum Member

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    Perhaps you was a manlet.
     
  3. jgarner

    jgarner Red Belt

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    Well that really varies too much for anyone to give you tips. You should be clean cut and prepared. That's about as good as anyone can really get. Dress above the position you want. Have printed resumes that are tailored to the job. Bring a notepad and pen, and take notes. Be prepared to answer questions they have about the job. Most importantly I think, engage them with questions. Show them you really have interest in the position and what all it entails. Ask them about a typical day on the job, what type of problems they usually have, what they will expect from you. Just engage them with questions. Ask them about other parts of the company and different departments. Show interest.
     
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  4. michal001

    michal001 Brown Belt

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  5. FightsFTW

    FightsFTW Red Belt

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  6. DIABOLUS

    DIABOLUS Banned Banned

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    The GOAT interviewer.

     
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  7. MusclesMarinara

    MusclesMarinara Friends with Bigfoot

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    I had applied for an internal transfer at my prior job. It was a bit of a stretch as I was looking to move from being a systems mechanic to some kind of It shit that a I can't even remember. So I put on my good suit, took the exam, and sat for my interview. The female interviewer fidgeted awkwardly through the short interview. With that I knew it didn't go well. When I stood up to leave, I really knew it didn't go well as the draft informed me that my fly had been open the entire time.
     
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  8. grimkitty

    grimkitty size 33 belt

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    they are people just like you. Just go in and have a conversation like you would with anyone... no reason to be nervous. Take the time to do a little research on the company first, like know when they started and whatnot. If you can find a way to drop some knowledge about the company in an interview employers like that... Also ask them questions
     
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  9. Cubo de Sangre

    Cubo de Sangre President of the War Room

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    Try to score a couple interviews for jobs you don't want and see if your performance/results improve.
     
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  10. My name is

    My name is Shawn

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    maybe try not being so proper
     
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  11. ElPadre

    ElPadre Yellow Belt

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    The best advice I can give you, is buy your own bullshit. You have to buy into yourself before you can sell yourself to someone else. Someone earlier said do not lie on your resume, and I agree with that 100% That being said there is a difference between lying about what you do, and selling it. Also, while everyone is nervous to some extent you really got to nip that as much as possible. Especially for the job type in this case. Keep at it, the more you do it the easier it gets. Don't look at it from you didn't get the job, they didn't get to have you as an employee. They lost, not you.
     
  12. FightsFTW

    FightsFTW Red Belt

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    That's interesting, lol. Would be fun to try.

    Would that really work? I always heard you should be professional in interviews. I could just start talking like myself and not use big fancy words and shit and see if that works. Worth a shot.
     
  13. Cubo de Sangre

    Cubo de Sangre President of the War Room

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    It's good practice and you'll be much less nervous if you don't give a fuck.
     
  14. FightsFTW

    FightsFTW Red Belt

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    I think I gotta work on my delivery a bit too, sometimes I tend to ramble a bit before getting to the point. I think the rambling is from nerves. As for the last sentence, that's probably true though. Every job I've had I've legit been one of the best employees. My current job I'm one of the better ones and because of it I'm always getting stuck with the bullshit because no one else does it right. Or they always get me to do it because they know they can count on me for it.
     
  15. ElPadre

    ElPadre Yellow Belt

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    That last sentence doesn't need to be true, you just need to believe it. I have worked with some of the worlds biggest shit bags, who think they are god's gift and that the company would go under if it wasn't for them. They don't get fired, hell a lot of times they even get promoted, and a lot of it is they believe their own shit.

    Now an interesting point on this, and this isn't a bad thing, is that you had to justify to me why what I said was "probably" true. I get it, continuing the conversation and clarifying that you are a good employee and so forth, but as far as the justification goes I'm just text on the screen. You had to also tell me that you were "legit" one of the best employees. I'm not busting your balls here, but why wouldn't I believe you that you were one of the best? You saying you are legit, tells me that you have reason to think that I wouldn't believe you so you had to reassure me.

    What I'm trying to say probably got lost in text and probably came across as douche-y, but the point I'm trying to get at is the more you buy yourself, the easier it becomes and a lot of times its the little stuff.
     
  16. Oblivian

    Oblivian Aging Platinum Member

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    Know your audience. For a security position, emotionless and calm is what they want. My guess that you seemed nervous/excited.

    I have to conduct way too many interviews before I hire people. The position that took the longest was for a real estate closer. This is the person that goes over hundreds of pieces of paper when you close on your house + mortgage. Generally, the clients buying the home are going to be nervous and it's a high pressure situation. The #1 thing that I'm looking for is someone that is really calm, smooth, and has wit. That can get you through almost any situation in the closing room. I've discounted so many people very quickly because they were nervous, got too excited, didn't have any flow in conversation, etc. If they are going to be like that in an interview, chances are they'll come off like that in closings.
     
  17. usfbrah

    usfbrah Chronic gambler

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    Show them your dick and tell him that's your resume !
     
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  18. IIIIIIII

    IIIIIIII Titanium Belt

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    crazy-enough, i've done pretty well in job interviews. i've had two, what i would consider to be, "career" jobs, and i'm in one now, so i haven't done too many interviews in my life. but i say i'm decent in interviews, because i know there were a lot of candidates, and in my first interview, i had to compete against twelve other students for a job at the university of california san francisco. the second interview was for hewlett packard. our job recruiter told me that i was the top candidate for the u.c. job, and the second one chosen for the h.p. job. she asked what i did in order to be chosen above everyone else. and all i can think of was that i was very confident in myself. i maintained eye-contact, and i asked a lot of questions regarding the position, and the type of environment i would be working in. i almost treated it as if i was already hired, and i spoke to the interviewers like we were already on the same team, so to speak. i wasn't the best student, either. i was middle-of-the-pack when it came to grades. honestly, i think it was because i'm a good speaker. i can articulate myself well, and i think i'm able to make others around me comfortable.

    to the threadstarter: be confident in your abilities, and in who you are as a person, and i think you'll do better the next time.
     
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  19. blitzk

    blitzk Red Belt

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    Get a necktat, Interviewers love necktats.

    wearing a Diaz bro jersey is a plus IMO.
     
  20. IIIIIIII

    IIIIIIII Titanium Belt

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    i've never done security work, but for about an hour, i did check i.d.'s at a bar. the bouncer had an emergency, and he asked if i could cover for that hour. i was a regular, so he knew i wasn't going to be a fuck-up about it. i will say that there is a lot of power involved when you have the right to allow someone in, or not. i would look at their i.d.'s like i was looking at someone's passport at an airport lol. the dudes were all worried about not getting in haha. was pretty fun, i have to say.
     

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