I saw a dude that used to bully me as a kid - 20 odd years later

sniper said:
Being truly happy and free from the mental shackles he has put on you is the ultimate payback. There is no amount physical punishment you could ever dish out that would be equal to the damage he has done to your brain.
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And I agree about the physical part.

I don't think it will come to that.

It's emotional payback - making him feel inferior - that's what I'm hoping to achieve.
 
EatMyShorts said:
And I agree about the physical part.

I don't think it will come to that.

It's emotional payback - making him feel inferior - that's what I'm hoping to achieve.
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So why cant being successful (whatever that means to you) and living a good life (by your standards) be just that? You're letting this guy dictate your life. It's your life... and hes in control. I dont get it?
 
To you it was a day of redemption. A day you finally put a depressing bit of your past behind you. You finally ALMOST had the confidence to confront past fears and trauma. You will remember this as a day your balls grew slightly bigger and you finally shook off that lingering self loathing.

To him it was a Sunday.
 
sniper said:
So why cant being successful (whatever that means to you) and living a good life (by your standards) be just that? You're letting this guy dictate your life. It's your life... and hes in control. I dont get it?
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Cause that shit he pulled as a kid - he tried it again, today - 20 years later.

He's basically trying to make me feel inferior; he could before, and obviously feels he's gonna try it now.

The reason I could handle it today, is cause, I've become successful (with picking up bitches).
It's funny - I think, once you can handle a woman, the rest is easy.

But the fact he even tried - that grinds my gears.
He's 30 years old - WTF?
 
EatMyShorts said:
Cause that shit he pulled as a kid - he tried it again, today - 20 years later.

He's basically trying to make me feel inferior; he could before, and obviously feels he's gonna try it now.

The reason I could handle it today, is cause, I've become successful (with picking up bitches).
It's funny - I think, once you can handle a woman, the rest is easy.

But the fact he even tried - that grinds my gears.
He's 30 years old - WTF?
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But you said you're not even sure he recognized you though?

Next time, just give him a nice smile and give your girl a kiss. It will all come to an end right then and there.
 
LEWIS540 said:
To you it was a day of redemption. A day you finally put a depressing bit of your past behind you. You finally ALMOST had the confidence to confront past fears and trauma. You will remember this as a day your balls grew slightly bigger and you finally shook off that lingering self loathing.

To him it was a Sunday.
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I hope you're wrong - on the last part.

Ideally what I'd like is - my looming look, made him feel as his behavior indicated; like a bitch.
He's trying to be a tough guy - but it's backfiring - and he's feeling like a bitch.

Ideally - that's what I'd like.
 
sniper said:
But you said you're not even sure he recognized you though?

Next time, just give him a nice smile and give your girl a kiss. It will all come to an end right then and there.
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I said, initially - I didn't recognize him.

Given his initial presentation toward me - he knew exactly who I was - and what our history was.
 
You need a hug.
 
EatMyShorts said:
That sounds real nice.

But, it is imperative to understand that - I'm a pathological chip on my shoulder type of motherfucker.
I forget or forgive nothing.
It's just how I handle it - well - I'm hoping I can do so more productively than has historically been the case.
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I’ve been the same way. I was holding onto resentment for most of my life at everyone who wronged me.

I held every slight inside me and suffered the consequences because I took my problems out on innocent people.

When you can’t let go of your anger and pain you take it out on innocent people and continue the cycle.
 
I had something similar happen. It was about 10 years later though and it was the friend of a bully who tried to fight me in the bully's place when I stood up to him. I wouldn't hit him since he wasn't who I had a problem with so I just defended and controlled him in the clinch. He was a douchebag with a gang mentality at the time. When I saw him again, he was incredibly nice and had a family he loved. It was really cool to see and I was glad I didn't fight back, I used to regret not kicking his ass for the reputation because at the time I was fresh off a lot of success in wrestling and had the ability to do it, but I would have regretted that even more in the long run.
 
It must suck that the guy who used to be a bully now has his life in order, and decades later you're still trying to get revenge by staring at him all aggro like while he couldn't care less. First he bullied you and your friends into a living death, and now he's ignoring you into an impotent karate forum stalker rage. This guy is still effortlessly styling on you and your entire existence.
 
EatMyShorts said:
I hope you're wrong - on the last part.

Ideally what I'd like is - my looming look, made him feel as his behavior indicated; like a bitch.
He's trying to be a tough guy - but it's backfiring - and he's feeling like a bitch.

Ideally - that's what I'd like.
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Honestly, the fact that you even care means he has a hold over you and he has ultimately "won".

Wish him well. Hold no grudges. If you really must, ask him why he acted the way he did. Having delusions of grandeur about some kind of heroic revenge not only get you nowhere bul ultimately make you the bad guy.
 
This thread makes me legit sad. You sound like you're carrying a heavy load of insecurities, mate. Hope you get your head together.
 
Sounds like a sociopath, he may have let it go because his chick was there and he didn’t want to argue over dinner about the guy he stabbed over giving him dirty looks.
 
TehJesus said:
This thread makes me legit sad. You sound like you're carrying a heavy load of insecurities, mate. Hope you get your head together.
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It's one of those threads which I'm sure went in the complete opposite direction to what the TS expected.
 
Fawlty said:
It must suck that the guy who used to be a bully now has his life in order, and decades later you're still trying to get revenge by staring at him all aggro like while he couldn't care less. First he bullied you and your friends into a living death, and now he's ignoring you into an impotent karate forum stalker rage. This guy is still effortlessly styling on you and your entire existence.
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The fact that so many posters thanked this - is unsettling.
 
LEWIS540 said:
It's one of those threads which I'm sure went in the complete opposite direction to what the TS expected.
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No one responds well to bullying stories - cause it's such a contentious area, and no one likes to confide weakness, which is what relating their own experiences would do.
 
Sucks to be bullied and childhood experiences can certainly have lasting trauma.

I think you need to move on though TS. The guy might have changed for the better and if he hasn’t, I’d suspect that you trying something with him now that’s confrontational can only have a negative impact all around.
 
This is an unhealthy level of enmity. Shit I barely remember my friends from high school much less who didn't like me.
 
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