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I rewrote the opening scene of Infinity Wars

Discussion in 'Mayberry Lounge' started by Clippy, Aug 11, 2018.

  1. Clippy

    Clippy NVM I'm not back

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    Thanos looks out the window while holding a beat up Thor, in a broken ship that's on fire with dead Asgardians all over.

    Thanos turns to loki...

    Thanos: I know what it's like to lose.

    Loki: Ummmm do you???

    Thanos: Yes, this one time I lost an infinity stone ... actually I gave it to you....

    Loki: Yeah I lost that

    Thanos: But you did fine the teseract!!

    Loki: Maybe I did ... maybe I didn't....

    Thanos: Give me the teseract ... or I'll do this!

    Thanos burns Thor's head with the purple power stone and Thor screams whole Loki looks on.

    Loki: That sucks but really, Thor's so powerful that's like burning a regular person with a cigar.

    Thanos has Thor's skull in his hand and picks him up in the air and begins to crush his skill. Thor screams louder and we hear skull crushing noises.

    Loki: He's been through worse.

    Thanos, while still holding Thor up in the air, knees him in the spine and Thor spits out chunks of spine all over.

    Loki: OH FUCK HERE IT IS!!

    Loki presents the teseract to Thanos, Thanos goes to reach it and Loki pulls it back

    Loki: Got ya!

    Thanos: Really ....

    Loki: Ya know what else we got? A HULK!

    Hulk comes out and begins to fight thanos.

    Thor: What the ... where was he this whole time???

    Loki: You see

    **flashback***

    Loki is talking to Hulk

    Hulk: Let's go smash!!!

    Loki: Wait, let's do this sweet call back where you hide in the broom closet until I say "We got a hulk"

    Hulk: Hulk like!!!

    **back to present**

    Thor: Yeah ok, that's pretty cinematic, I would have done the same.

    Meanwhile Hulk is smashing Thanos and then Cull Obsidian prepares to help but Ebony Maw holds him back

    Ebony Maw: Let him have his fun.

    Hulk is immediately knocked out.

    Thanos: That was no fun.

    Thor goes to hit Thanos with a metal pipe but it bends and pokes Thor in his good eye.

    Thor: I HATE MY LIFE LATELY!!!

    Ebony Maw traps him in pieces of metal and Loki gives Thanos the teseract.

    Thanos: Time to take my clothes off.

    Thanos disrobes to show his sexy arms and crushes the teseract and glass gets all over.

    Thanos: Oh shit! That really shattered! Glass everywhere! It's in my eye!!

    Ebony Maw: Some got in my eye too!!

    Thor: And mine!! FUCKKKK

    Michael Chiesa: My fuckin eye!!!

    Thanos puts the stone in his Michael Jackson glove to bedazzle it even further and makes a bunch of satisfactory noises as he powers up and everyone watches for a while.

    Loki: So ... I'm gunna go...

    Thanos: Oh shit you're still here.

    Loki: Let's be friends?

    Thanos: K

    Loki reveals a knife in his hand behind his back that Thanos can't see.... but the rest of the Black Order can.

    Proxima Midnight: He's got a knife!!!

    Loki: Oh fuck

    Thanos chokes him with the gauntlet.

    Loki: That's metal glove is really cold on my neck!!!

    Thanos feels the life drain out of Loki and drops him.

    Thanos: He better be dead this time ... someone poke him with a stick just to be sure.

    Heimdall: I CALL UPON THE DARK MAGIC TO SUMMON A PRETTY RAINBOW TO SAVE THE GREEN GUY!!!!

    Thanos: .... poke him with a stick too.

    They kill Heimdall.

    Thanos opens a portal to leave.

    Ebony Maw: Wait, don't forget your very expensive golden armor that you dropped!

    Thanos: I no longer need it ... my arms were warm anyway.

    Ebony Maw: But it's so expensive. We can save it to buy things with or something.

    Thanos: No time, I'm on a mission here to help solve the universe's limited resorce problem, now leave the priceless extra large gold armour and let's go.

    They leave as the ship explodes all around them

    ---------

    Let me know what you guys think and if you want me to do the rest of the movie
     
  2. nostradumbass

    nostradumbass Gold Belt

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  3. Hatestorm

    Hatestorm P4P Hottest Smelling Avatar

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  4. Anung Un Rama

    Anung Un Rama Idol of Millions Platinum Member

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  5. milliniar

    milliniar Who needs a belt?

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    Better than dceu.
     
  6. Thad Castle v2

    Thad Castle v2 Brown Belt

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    as a spoof it works
     
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  7. smooth assassin

    smooth assassin Brown Belt

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    You’re a GENIUS!!!
     
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  8. SmilinDesperado

    SmilinDesperado Silver Belt

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    Well....i hespect your effort, kiddo..but IW was rated PG13..so no fucks or shits
    I give you a 81%
    <LucyBless>
     
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  9. KnightTemplar

    KnightTemplar Ebony Belt Platinum Member

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    <mma4>

    Still better than Thor: Dark World or Iron Man 2
     
  10. Todd Gack

    Todd Gack Dutch

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    Shallow Hal needs a gal.
     
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  11. EvilDDS

    EvilDDS Black Belt

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    Needs more "lets get facckked ben!" "hnnnng" Then you have a sure hit on your hands
     
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  12. Clippy

    Clippy NVM I'm not back

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    I can't even like your post dawg
     
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  13. EvilDDS

    EvilDDS Black Belt

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    Should've ended my last post with this gif

    [​IMG]
     
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  14. MikeMcMann

    MikeMcMann Gold Belt

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    Fixed!
     
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  15. EvilDDS

    EvilDDS Black Belt

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    Damn, Clippy snapped and went back in time to like my first post
     
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  16. Clippy

    Clippy NVM I'm not back

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    Of fuck you got the Reality Stone
     
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  17. UFC=Pride

    UFC=Pride Black Belt

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  18. Clippy

    Clippy NVM I'm not back

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    loyalyolayal and EvilDDS like this.
  19. KONG-D'SNT-TAP

    KONG-D'SNT-TAP Titanium Belt

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    THANOS- "K"

    Lol greatest line in the movie.
     
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  20. UFC=Pride

    UFC=Pride Black Belt

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    baby-groot-bread.gif
    Yes it is
     
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