I rewrote the opening scene of Infinity Wars

Clippy

Good Times
@plutonium
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Thanos looks out the window while holding a beat up Thor, in a broken ship that's on fire with dead Asgardians all over.

Thanos turns to loki...

Thanos: I know what it's like to lose.

Loki: Ummmm do you???

Thanos: Yes, this one time I lost an infinity stone ... actually I gave it to you....

Loki: Yeah I lost that

Thanos: But you did fine the teseract!!

Loki: Maybe I did ... maybe I didn't....

Thanos: Give me the teseract ... or I'll do this!

Thanos burns Thor's head with the purple power stone and Thor screams whole Loki looks on.

Loki: That sucks but really, Thor's so powerful that's like burning a regular person with a cigar.

Thanos has Thor's skull in his hand and picks him up in the air and begins to crush his skill. Thor screams louder and we hear skull crushing noises.

Loki: He's been through worse.

Thanos, while still holding Thor up in the air, knees him in the spine and Thor spits out chunks of spine all over.

Loki: OH FUCK HERE IT IS!!

Loki presents the teseract to Thanos, Thanos goes to reach it and Loki pulls it back

Loki: Got ya!

Thanos: Really ....

Loki: Ya know what else we got? A HULK!

Hulk comes out and begins to fight thanos.

Thor: What the ... where was he this whole time???

Loki: You see

**flashback***

Loki is talking to Hulk

Hulk: Let's go smash!!!

Loki: Wait, let's do this sweet call back where you hide in the broom closet until I say "We got a hulk"

Hulk: Hulk like!!!

**back to present**

Thor: Yeah ok, that's pretty cinematic, I would have done the same.

Meanwhile Hulk is smashing Thanos and then Cull Obsidian prepares to help but Ebony Maw holds him back

Ebony Maw: Let him have his fun.

Hulk is immediately knocked out.

Thanos: That was no fun.

Thor goes to hit Thanos with a metal pipe but it bends and pokes Thor in his good eye.

Thor: I HATE MY LIFE LATELY!!!

Ebony Maw traps him in pieces of metal and Loki gives Thanos the teseract.

Thanos: Time to take my clothes off.

Thanos disrobes to show his sexy arms and crushes the teseract and glass gets all over.

Thanos: Oh shit! That really shattered! Glass everywhere! It's in my eye!!

Ebony Maw: Some got in my eye too!!

Thor: And mine!! FUCKKKK

Michael Chiesa: My fuckin eye!!!

Thanos puts the stone in his Michael Jackson glove to bedazzle it even further and makes a bunch of satisfactory noises as he powers up and everyone watches for a while.

Loki: So ... I'm gunna go...

Thanos: Oh shit you're still here.

Loki: Let's be friends?

Thanos: K

Loki reveals a knife in his hand behind his back that Thanos can't see.... but the rest of the Black Order can.

Proxima Midnight: He's got a knife!!!

Loki: Oh fuck

Thanos chokes him with the gauntlet.

Loki: That's metal glove is really cold on my neck!!!

Thanos feels the life drain out of Loki and drops him.

Thanos: He better be dead this time ... someone poke him with a stick just to be sure.

Heimdall: I CALL UPON THE DARK MAGIC TO SUMMON A PRETTY RAINBOW TO SAVE THE GREEN GUY!!!!

Thanos: .... poke him with a stick too.

They kill Heimdall.

Thanos opens a portal to leave.

Ebony Maw: Wait, don't forget your very expensive golden armor that you dropped!

Thanos: I no longer need it ... my arms were warm anyway.

Ebony Maw: But it's so expensive. We can save it to buy things with or something.

Thanos: No time, I'm on a mission here to help solve the universe's limited resorce problem, now leave the priceless extra large gold armour and let's go.

They leave as the ship explodes all around them

---------

Let me know what you guys think and if you want me to do the rest of the movie
 
giphy.gif
 
Well....i hespect your effort, kiddo..but IW was rated PG13..so no fucks or shits
I give you a 81%
<LucyBless>
 
Thanos looks out the window while holding a beat up Thor, in a broken ship that's on fire with dead Asgardians all over.

Thanos turns to loki...

Thanos: I know what it's like to lose.

Loki: Ummmm do you???

Thanos: Yes, this one time I lost an infinity stone ... actually I gave it to you....

Loki: Yeah I lost that

Thanos: But you did fine the teseract!!

Loki: Maybe I did ... maybe I didn't....

Thanos: Give me the teseract ... or I'll do this!

Thanos burns Thor's head with the purple power stone and Thor screams whole Loki looks on.

Loki: That sucks but really, Thor's so powerful that's like burning a regular person with a cigar.

Thanos has Thor's skull in his hand and picks him up in the air and begins to crush his skill. Thor screams louder and we hear skull crushing noises.

Loki: He's been through worse.

Thanos, while still holding Thor up in the air, knees him in the spine and Thor spits out chunks of spine all over.

Loki: OH FUCK HERE IT IS!!

Loki presents the teseract to Thanos, Thanos goes to reach it and Loki pulls it back

Loki: Got ya!

Thanos: Really ....

Loki: Ya know what else we got? A HULK!

Hulk comes out and begins to fight thanos.

Thor: What the ... where was he this whole time???

Loki: You see

**flashback***

Loki is talking to Hulk

Hulk: Let's go smash!!!

Loki: Wait, let's do this sweet call back where you hide in the broom closet until I say "We got a hulk"

Hulk: Hulk like!!!

**back to present**

Thor: Yeah ok, that's pretty cinematic, I would have done the same.

Meanwhile Hulk is smashing Thanos and then Cull Obsidian prepares to help but Ebony Maw holds him back

Ebony Maw: Let him have his fun.

Hulk is immediately knocked out.

Thanos: That was no fun.

Thor goes to hit Thanos with a metal pipe but it bends and pokes Thor in his good eye.

Thor: I HATE MY LIFE LATELY!!!

Ebony Maw traps him in pieces of metal and Loki gives Thanos the teseract.

Thanos: Time to take my clothes off.

Thanos disrobes to show his sexy arms and crushes the teseract and glass gets all over.

Thanos: Oh shit! That really shattered! Glass everywhere! It's in my eye!!

Ebony Maw: Some got in my eye too!!

Thor: And mine!! FUCKKKK

Michael Chiesa: My fuckin eye!!!

Thanos puts the stone in his Michael Jackson glove to bedazzle it even further and makes a bunch of satisfactory noises as he powers up and everyone watches for a while.

Loki: So ... I'm gunna go...

Thanos: Oh shit you're still here.

Loki: Let's be friends?

Thanos: K

Loki reveals a knife in his hand behind his back that Thanos can't see.... but the rest of the Black Order can.

Proxima Midnight: He's got a knife!!!

Loki: Oh fuck

Thanos chokes him with the gauntlet.

Loki: That's metal glove is really cold on my neck!!!

Thanos feels the life drain out of Loki and drops him.

Thanos: He better be dead this time ... someone poke him with a stick just to be sure.

Heimdall: I CALL UPON THE DARK MAGIC TO SUMMON A PRETTY RAINBOW TO SAVE THE GREEN GUY!!!!

Thanos: .... poke him with a stick too.

They kill Heimdall.

Thanos opens a portal to leave.

Ebony Maw: Wait, don't forget your very expensive golden armor that you dropped!

Thanos: I no longer need it ... my arms were warm anyway.

Ebony Maw: But it's so expensive. We can save it to buy things with or something.

Thanos: No time, I'm on a mission here to help solve the universe's limited resorce problem, now leave the priceless extra large gold armour and let's go.

They leave as the ship explodes all around them

---------

Let me know what you guys think and if you want me to do the rest of the movie

<mma4>

Still better than Thor: Dark World or Iron Man 2
 
Thanos looks out the window while holding a beat up Thor, in a broken ship that's on fire with dead Asgardians all over.

Thanos turns to loki...

Thanos: I know what it's like to lose.

Loki: Ummmm do you???

Thanos: Yes, this one time I lost an infinity stone ... actually I gave it to you....

Loki: Yeah I lost that

Thanos: But you did fine the teseract!!

Loki: Maybe I did ... maybe I didn't....

Thanos: Give me the teseract ... or I'll do this!

Thanos burns Thor's head with the purple power stone and Thor screams whole Loki looks on.

Loki: That sucks but really, Thor's so powerful that's like burning a regular person with a cigar.

Thanos has Thor's skull in his hand and picks him up in the air and begins to crush his skill. Thor screams louder and we hear skull crushing noises.

Loki: He's been through worse.

Thanos, while still holding Thor up in the air, knees him in the spine and Thor spits out chunks of spine all over.

Loki: OH FUCK HERE IT IS!!

Loki presents the teseract to Thanos, Thanos goes to reach it and Loki pulls it back

Loki: Got ya!

Thanos: Really ....

Loki: Ya know what else we got? A HULK!

Hulk comes out and begins to fight thanos.

Thor: What the ... where was he this whole time???

Loki: You see

**flashback***

Loki is talking to Hulk

Hulk: Let's go smash!!!

Loki: Wait, let's do this sweet call back where you hide in the broom closet until I say "We got a hulk"

Hulk: Hulk like!!!

**back to present**

Thor: Yeah ok, that's pretty cinematic, I would have done the same.

Meanwhile Hulk is smashing Thanos and then Cull Obsidian prepares to help but Ebony Maw holds him back

Ebony Maw: Let him have his fun.

Hulk is immediately knocked out.

Thanos: That was no fun.

Thor goes to hit Thanos with a metal pipe but it bends and pokes Thor in his good eye.

Thor: I HATE MY LIFE LATELY!!!

Ebony Maw traps him in pieces of metal and Loki gives Thanos the teseract.

Thanos: Time to take my clothes off.

Thanos disrobes to show his sexy arms and crushes the teseract and glass gets all over.

Thanos: Oh shit! That really shattered! Glass everywhere! It's in my eye!!

Ebony Maw: Some got in my eye too!!

Thor: And mine!! FUCKKKK

Michael Chiesa: My fuckin eye!!!

Thanos puts the stone in his Michael Jackson glove to bedazzle it even further and makes a bunch of satisfactory noises as he powers up and everyone watches for a while.

Loki: So ... I'm gunna go...

Thanos: Oh shit you're still here.

Loki: Let's be friends?

Thanos: K

Loki reveals a knife in his hand behind his back that Thanos can't see.... but the rest of the Black Order can.

Proxima Midnight: He's got a knife!!!

Loki: Oh fuck

Thanos chokes him with the gauntlet.

Loki: That's metal glove is really cold on my neck!!!

Thanos feels the life drain out of Loki and drops him.

Thanos: He better be dead this time ... someone poke him with a stick just to be sure.

Heimdall: I CALL UPON THE DARK MAGIC TO SUMMON A PRETTY RAINBOW TO SAVE THE GREEN GUY!!!!

Thanos: .... poke him with a stick too.

They kill Heimdall.

Thanos opens a portal to leave.

Ebony Maw: Wait, don't forget your very expensive golden armor that you dropped!

Thanos: I no longer need it ... my arms were warm anyway.

Ebony Maw: But it's so expensive. We can save it to buy things with or something.

Thanos: No time, I'm on a mission here to help solve the universe's limited resorce problem, now leave the priceless extra large gold armour and let's go.

They leave as the ship explodes all around them

---------

Let me know what you guys think and if you want me to do the rest of the movie
Needs more "lets get facckked ben!" "hnnnng" Then you have a sure hit on your hands
 
Damn, Clippy snapped and went back in time to like my first post
 
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