I need your help!!!

Discussion in 'Strength & Conditioning Discussion' started by ArtVandelay777, Aug 10, 2010.

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  1. ArtVandelay777

    ArtVandelay777 Orange Belt

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    I'll be going on a boat trip in less than 6 weeks and I just found out there will be some lovely ladies in attendance. I need some advice on some quick result workout regimens, so I don't look like a complete ass when I take my shirt off.

    I'm 5'11", 182 lbs with a beer belly in progress...

    Any tips would be appreciated...
     
  2. KnightTemplar

    KnightTemplar Halloween Belt Platinum Member

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    Wrong place to ask. Walk away. Now.:icon_twis

    Seriously, try a BodyBuilding site. Asking for advice in the S&P Thread on how to look good with your shirt off will get you Flamed to ashes.:eek:
     
  3. That Ninja Kid

    That Ninja Kid Orange Belt

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    Get one of these, and paint it to match your skin color. Nobody will be able to tell, I swear!
     
  4. DrBdan

    DrBdan Something clever

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    Just make sure you have a nautical-themed pashmina afghan and you'll be set

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  5. michaelcp4

    michaelcp4 Brown Belt

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    Dude, eat better and do crunches, and lay off the goddamn beer.

    It's not rocket science. You're talking to a guy who has had a six pack his whole life
     
  6. turbozed

    turbozed Red Belt

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    Damn, even when you were a little kid? I think you need to start a 'six-pack for life' thread and share your secretz.
     
  7. TheeFaulted

    TheeFaulted Inzer Belt

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    Randomly select a bunch of exercises in the gym. Don't bother keeping track of what lifts you do, what weight you use, or how many reps. Live for today! Keeping a diary is for pussies. And don't bother with deadlifts or squats, preacher CURLZ for the WIN!

    Work on your GUNZ. That's all that matters anyway. The bigger the GUNZ, the more it will distract the ladies from your soft beer belly.

    Whatever you do don't alter your diet.

    Last but not least, work on poses. These are best done looking at yourself in the full length mirrors at the gym.
     
  8. michaelcp4

    michaelcp4 Brown Belt

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    I waz packin in the womb, I kicked my way out.

    Getting fit is very simple though.

    Working out:
    _do it consistently. 3 or 4 days a week is great
    _variation is key. It confuses your muscles, which means greater gains/more weight loss.

    Your body is trying to find the routine- if you exercise infrequently, your body says "Damn, that was hard. Thank God I don't have to do that on a regular basis." and you don't see results. If you exercise often, your body says "damn, I'd better speed up his metabolism in order to take in all the nutrients I need for all this work that we're apparently going to be doing", and you lose more weight.

    Your body wants to store fat when it can. If you do the same routines-the same type of situps-over and over, your body will get used to it and "even the levels out", which means you'll stop losing fat. If you do 4 different crunch routines every time you're working out, your body will constantly be in Fat Loss Mode, and it can't figure out the correct levels.

    Eating:
    _drink lots of water. It keeps your system clean and I think it boosts your metabolism
    _eat plenty of lean protein like chicken or fish. To gain muscle, your body should be absorbing a gram of protein for every pound of body fat.
    _Lay off the breads/pasta, the soda, the simple sugars

    Get plenty of sleep
     
  9. michaelcp4

    michaelcp4 Brown Belt

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    There are a million different ways to rotate your trunk. Do you have access to a gym, or are you working out on your own?
     
  10. Eddieg

    Eddieg Brown Belt

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    One hundred situps and one hundred crunches a day\night 6 days a week will get SPEEDY results, especially if you have six weeks.
    Run a mile every morning?
     
  11. BrassBalls

    BrassBalls Banned Banned

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  12. michaelcp4

    michaelcp4 Brown Belt

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    By 'rotate your trunk', I was referring to having sex with another man
     
  13. Origins

    Origins Blue Belt

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    Fuck that, just do p90x.

    [​IMG]
     
  14. michaelcp4

    michaelcp4 Brown Belt

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    ^ Whether or not that is a joke... P90X is pretty much an enhanced version of everything I just said.

    It's a workout routine based on consistency and variation.

    And it comes with a food chart, telling you to eat exactly what I told you to eat. Lean protein, green vegetables, amino acids...
     
  15. Lug's Spear

    Lug's Spear Green Belt

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  16. Lug's Spear

    Lug's Spear Green Belt

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    I like to confuse my muscles by trying to solve really hard word problems between sets.
     
  17. Origins

    Origins Blue Belt

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    Exactly.
     
  18. PowerHungry

    PowerHungry Oh yeah!

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  19. PowerHungry

    PowerHungry Oh yeah!

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  20. miaou

    miaou barely keeping it together

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    All of you.
     
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