I Had A Bad Breakup This Morning (I Have Hatred In My Heart For Her Now)

[MikeHolmes]

For almost 2 months, I was seeing this woman. Basically, things went well; we'd go to dinner, we conversed well, we texted everyday, etc. Sexually, she gave up the butt sechs and was extremely promising in the sack. However, things went downhill fast this past week. As a person, she seemed decent; a teacher for autistic children, drove friends to and from work, and a fairly active life.

After sleeping over after UFC 200 on Saturday, things appeared to be running super smoothly. Afterall, she was even watching MMA with me now. However, the week involved a hectic start to summer school for her and I noticed for the first time a lack of mutual back and forth texting. Her friend had a baby on Thursday, so she stayed overnight at the hospital on Friday. I understood this. However, the following events last night and this morning really shock me.

As someone that battles depression and negative thinking, I have been fighting a hard battle. I figured, as she worked with autistic children, she would be compassionate, non-judgmental,and helpful. I didn't even message her very frequently for advice, since I wanted to project positive energy as much as possible. However, I messaged her for insight on turning around some thoughts between last night and this morning. She basically judged my depression as a joke because I didn't have a hard life like others with depression and she only dealt with people with "real problems." I was completely floored with the ignorance and insensitivity, especially since she deals with mental issues for a living. So a middle class person's depression somehow isn't as real as a poor person's? I have gradually seen some cracks into her mind which gave off the vibe she wasn't as intelligent as she believed herself to be, but this shocked the shit out of me.

Basically, via text while I was at work, this woman insulted my depression and ended our relationship. Luckily, my co-workers picked up the slack, as I was an emotional mess. With the benefit of hindsight, I think not being with her is a tremendous net positive in my life; I can actually find someone that is compassionate and truly a good person. In addition, she wasn't as attractive as her online dating picture made her out to be, so I can find someone that is truly attractive. Yet, I still feel betrayed and angry by the intolerance to my suffering. I couldn't even come to someone for some basic help without being judged harshly and ignorantly. I seriously want to hear the dumb bitch died; she has elicited that much anger inside of me.

 

[Gabe]

You know what to do

 

[Loiosh]

 

[TheRuthlessOne]

Try to get the butt sechs one last time

 

[Smashandgrab]

You sound needy, bro

 

[Brampton_Boy]

Life's too short to harbor anger and hate in your heart my friend.

Consider yourself lucky that she showed her true colors early on in the relationship. It doesn't necessarily means that she is a bad person, it's just that she isn't the right person for you and your needs.

Mental illness and depression is something that is difficult for people to understand unless they themselves have experienced it. They may "get it" at a conceptual level, but until they know how those feelings of despair threaten to pull you down at every turn (and often, these feelings are irrational and can't be explained by a specific cause), they will never be able to empathize.

Take stock of the good times you shared in your relationship (she did give up the batty after all), and move forward.

 

[LEWIS540]

She's better off without you.

 

[luv24nic8]

She probably has mental issues of her own that she's trying to deal with- Good job with the anal- Girls are like busses- another one is gonna come along in no time. Keep your head up and keep on keeping on.

 

[BisexualMMA]

From what you've described, this actually sounds like a reasonably clean breakup, in terms of how things can go.

You're in a good position, all things considered, to move on without too many scars. She wasn't very understanding, but that sounds like her worst crime here.

 

[Smashandgrab]

Honestly, most women are selfish. They don't want men with what they perceive as problems. My suggestion is get used to dealing with your own issues, don't look to women for support.

 

[Loiosh]

Life's too short to harbor anger and hate in your heart my friend.

Consider yourself lucky that she showed her true colors early on in the relationship. It doesn't necessarily means that she is a bad person, it's just that she isn't the right person for you and your needs.

Mental illness and depression is something that is difficult for people to understand unless they themselves have experienced it. They may "get it" at a conceptual level, but until they know how those feelings of despair threaten to pull you down at every turn (and often, these feelings are irrational and can't be explained by a specific cause), they will never be able to empathize.

Take stock of the good times you shared in your relationship (she did give up the batty after all), and move forward.

You are absolutely one of the top five best advice givers on this forum.

I bet you have really great friends.

 

[MikeHolmes]

Life's too short to harbor anger and hate in your heart my friend.

Consider yourself lucky that she showed her true colors early on in the relationship. It doesn't necessarily means that she is a bad person, it's just that she isn't the right person for you and your needs.

Mental illness and depression is something that is difficult for people to understand unless they themselves have experienced it. They may "get it" at a conceptual level, but until they know how those feelings of despair threaten to pull you down at every turn (and often, these feelings are irrational and can't be explained by a specific cause), they will never be able to empathize.

Take stock of the good times you shared in your relationship (she did give up the batty after all), and move forward.

Thanks, bro. This message helped me, for real. I guess it just shocks me so much because she works with autistic kids. I mean, if anyone is going to understand some irrational thoughts, it would be this woman. Instead, I feel like she's not very deep and cannot even see the hypocrisy in her words. I guess, like anything in life, people may be good at one thing,but not necessarily good at others.

 

[Anung Un Rama]

I can't believe this girl wasn't pure empathy toward your condition. At least she's ugly doe, right?

 

[MikeHolmes]

Honestly, most women are selfish. They don't want men with what they perceive as problems. My suggestion is get used to dealing with your own issues, don't look to women for support.

I think this is very accurate, but I had a different expectation based on the fact she helps people for a living. Once again, having expectations is my enemy.

 

[Smashandgrab]

I think this is very accurate, but I had a different expectation based on the fact she helps people for a living. Once again, having expectations is my enemy.

I think your expectation was fair, but you have to remember she gets paid for what she does for a living. Unlikely she'd do it for free. I sometimes wonder what men get out of relationships, besides sex of course. Women are quick to unload all their shit onto us but are rarely supportive in return. Most are just really self-absorbed.

 

[Exi]

I think this is very accurate, but I had a different expectation based on the fact she helps people for a living. Once again, having expectations is my enemy.

Having low, or high expectations can both be empowering strategies in life.
Just knowing who, or what is in front of you makes all the difference.

Basing the assumption that a person is empathetic based on their profession is a poor indicator of that individuals ideology.

 

[Der Eisbär]

Honestly it's pretty wild she had that response towards your depression considering what she does. The lack of empathy and consideration is shocking.

I've said this for a while;
Women constantly get this rap as being highly emotionally "intuitive" creatures and I say BULLSHIT. Most women are conniving cold calculated killers that don't give a fuck about the emotions of others. Move forward with female relationships taking this into consideration.

Also, you only dated this chick for 8 weeks so like others said feel blessed she revealed her ugly character this early.

 

[The ScorpioN]

Sounds like TS was blowing up her phone after she didn't text back immediately.

You need to man the fuck up a bit and realize that 2 months is pretty casual for an episode of a male version of a needy mental chick. Save that for at least a year.

Fortunately for her, she got out in time.

Women do this all the time, enter a relationship emotional wrecks and then expect it to work. Sounds like she didn't want to wear the pants in that one.

 

[HunterSdVa29]

If thats how she treated you in a time of need, youre better without her IMO

 

[ehtheist]

It's OK bro. She obviously only worked with retarded people just to laugh at them after work. You're just another retarded person she's laughing at now.