I can't fight. I freeze and feel sick, weak at the knees. This always happens.

[koolinkunming]

Not fighting is actually good. Don't act like an idiot and stay out of stupid situations and you're good.

The only real fight I got into was because I was trying to help a hooker who was getting slapped around and I lost. Really drunk and 2 against one. So yeah.

Fighting is stupid anyway.

 

[Slobodan]

Did someone already say to tweak your nipples? Tweak your nipples.

This is probably the most legit advice ITT, even UFC fighters do it!

 

[Slobodan]

Not fighting is actually good. Don't act like an idiot and stay out of stupid situations and you're good.

The only real fight I got into was because I was trying to help a hooker who was getting slapped around and I lost. Really drunk and 2 against one. So yeah.

Fighting is stupid anyway.

Should have tweaked your nipples, then you would've won.

 

[Chinballs]

Sometimes getting back to earth and think a little practical will help.

You are 17, adult life is right around the corner where people can't just beat you up without risking severe consequences and where not fighting will be the sound advice for like 99% of all conflicts you will end up in.

Also, like another poster said, spend a little time thinking of why you are ending up in so many conflicts.

The only thing that really matters here is if you want to improve your emotional life because you are suppose to leave all the rest of the stuff in the schoolyard anyway.

 

[Jon Stark]

You are beta not alpha.

 

[Brodels]

Just try your best to avoid those situations man. No need for you to fight anyone. Hopefully you won't be presented with too many situations like stopping a robber or serial killer or anything.

I actually daydream about freezing up in situations like that a lot. I imagine myself trying to throw a punch and then some force takes over like I'm punching through gelatin or water with the power of a toddler. Then whoever I'm trying to hit just destroys me.

 

[NHB7]

If you suck at fighting, avoid getting into fights. People on here act like they always need to be prepared to defend themselves. I've done martial arts for over a decade and I've never "had" to use them. It's pretty simple to avoid fights.

A) when I walk into a party I can usually tell within minutes who is going to be trouble when they are drunk later and I avoid them. If there are too many of those morons, I leave.

B) Shit starters usually just want an ego boost. If you say, "I don't want any trouble man. Your a big guy, I'm not crazy." Then they get to feel tough and you get to feel left alone. If your ego can't handle turning down a fight, then work on your ego.

C) call the police. If I saw some street tough messing with a homeless dude, I'd just call the police on him.

D) everyone gets weak in the knees. You need a reframe. That's not just fear, that's adrenaline pumping through you. And if you absolutely get attacked, trust me, you will fight. You may lose, but you'll fight.

 

[BearGrounds]

First off, just know that it's normal to be afraid. If you are a smart individual that is used to critical thinking, you have figured out that street fights can be dangerous and you can get seriously hurt.

Second, sometimes it's better to run than to fight. Even the toughest guys can't fight multiple people at once (yes, I know sometimes one tough dude will beat up multiple opponents and sometimes you can't run and you have to fight, but these types of fights usually mean you're going to take a beating).

Third, try to figure out what you are mostly afraid of. Most people are not afraid of getting hurt, they are mostly afraid of losing in front of others and being dominated by someone else. I hated fighting in front of girls, but had no fear if it was just in front of my friends (who incidentally I knew had my back)

Fourth, if standing up to bullies physically is something you want to do, then you need to rehearse it. Training and sparring is how you can do this and it will build your confidence. The first time you go a whole round with someone and know that you took care of yourself in there, your confidence will sky-rocket.

I think you nailed it with your third point (not that the others aren't also valuable). TS needs to understand the root of his fear and overcome it there, with reason. Without understanding the "why" of his fear, he cannot eradicate it.

And just to toss in some Miyamoto Musashi combat philosophy, which is great reading material for a guy like TS:

"To win any battle, you must fight as if you are already dead."

 

[speakhandsforme]

Social anxiety and the fight-or-flight biological panic response. Sounds like you're a flight person.

Get on an anxiety medication or always been about 5 beers deep at all times. Your choice.

 

[speakhandsforme]

The longer you wait to act in confrontational situations, the worse you'll have it. Just start a fight. Everything else will feel natural. Sure, you might get beaten up but at least you'll conquer your fear.

Seconded, actually.

I think by the time you're an adult, the need to fight occurs rarely if ever.

But, if you're getting nauseous and weak (I've had that too, not so much in actual boxing but definitely on da streetz), you need to act early in a confrontational situation.

 

[dc007]

If serious, just start training and get used to getting hit through sparring and build your confidence through training.

 

[SCTrojans]

Join a gang.