I Almost Died This Morning

Discussion in 'Mayberry Lounge' started by Pliny Pete, Nov 13, 2020.

  1. Pliny Pete Puts Butts In Seats

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2014
    Messages:
    23,289
    Likes Received:
    10,692
    Location:
    Taco Truck On The Corner
    I was walking my dog at 4:30 am, we waited for the crosswalk sign and then started to cross at a well lit main street 4 way intersection

    There was a set of headlights far down the road as we stepped into the street but I began to notice that they were approaching us quickly

    As they got closer and closer I got a bad vibe and hesitated in the middle of the road and this dumb bitch was either, drunk, texting or asleep cause she blew right through the red light at full speed

    I had to yank my dog backwards off her feet into the air to save her life, thats how close this car passed us by, we were both literally inches away from death

    If I wouldnt have hesitated just that couple seconds we would both be dead or in the hospital with major injuries

    She finally hit her brakes in the middle of the 4 way intersection, if any cars were passing she woulda smashed them too

    I crossed to the other side of the street and then stood there on the corner yelling and calling her some very unsavory names

    After about 30-40 seconds she backed up and rolled down her window trying to apologize and ask if we were okay but I just walked off, I didnt wanna hear shit she had to say at that moment

    I spent the rest of our walk thanking the Heavens above cause my Guardian Angels were definitely on duty this morning
     
  2. MusclesMarinara Friends with Bigfoot

    Joined:
    May 13, 2008
    Messages:
    9,356
    Likes Received:
    939
    Guardian angels? Maybe it was the Termination Devils that sent her your way?
     
  3. ClubFoot Therapy can be a good thing; it can be therapeutic Platinum Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2010
    Messages:
    6,039
    Likes Received:
    487
    Should have photo’d her reg and reported her to the police.

    The next pedestrian may not be so lucky.
     
    Tone C likes this.
  4. Pliny Pete Puts Butts In Seats

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2014
    Messages:
    23,289
    Likes Received:
    10,692
    Location:
    Taco Truck On The Corner
    Yea I thought about that but I didnt do it
    I had a clear view of her license plate, now that Im back home and calmed a bit I wish I would have
     
  5. JoeyJoeJoeJr Black Belt

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2015
    Messages:
    5,845
    Likes Received:
    1,170
    As someone who walks 8 kilometers on the busiest street in my city everyday, I've had this situation happen many times.

    I don't know if I just have good intuition or what but I always see it coming.
     
    AZ103 likes this.
  6. weed ベルセルク

    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2008
    Messages:
    36,365
    Likes Received:
    9,770
    Location:
    ʞɹo⅄ ʍǝN
  7. lostdog000 Gold Belt

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2004
    Messages:
    17,739
    Likes Received:
    853
    Location:
    They Came Together (2014) - IMDb
  8. loyalyolayal Double Yellow Card Double Yellow Card

    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2010
    Messages:
    35,478
    Likes Received:
    4,580
    Must have been something you said.
     
    Pliny Pete likes this.
  9. CutStryker “The Prince of Darkness is a Gentleman”

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2012
    Messages:
    3,385
    Likes Received:
    134
    Location:
    The Golden State
    I came in here thinking you had a heart attack or something like that. Thank Buddha you are still on Earth!
     
  10. Clippy They call me the Swede. I'm Norwegian

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2015
    Messages:
    52,086
    Likes Received:
    16,482
    Location:
    An office
    Yay
     
    HARRISON_3 and Red Beard like this.
  11. Smokes Black Belt

    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2018
    Messages:
    6,269
    Likes Received:
    1,794
    Why did you wait for her to back up. I don't think I would have stood there and waited for them to back up and give them another shot to kill me after they messed up the first attempt.
     
  12. A.A. Riggs sweet ... sweet meat!

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2006
    Messages:
    59,533
    Likes Received:
    7,535
    I would have gave that car a left cross, left it on the crosswalk. Word to your mother.
     
  13. THEfightsAREfixed you can do it

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2018
    Messages:
    4,747
    Likes Received:
    899
    Location:
    NYC
    you could have pressure her into sucking your dick and you just left wow
     
    Night Owl, jeff corwin3000 and Zer like this.
  14. Losfer Words Brown Belt

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2013
    Messages:
    4,579
    Likes Received:
    811
    Glad you and the doggo are alright but.....do you even train brah?
    [​IMG]
     
  15. Osculater Red Belt

    Joined:
    Aug 16, 2013
    Messages:
    7,933
    Likes Received:
    991
    You should have blasted her like a gangster
     
  16. Pliny Pete Puts Butts In Seats

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2014
    Messages:
    23,289
    Likes Received:
    10,692
    Location:
    Taco Truck On The Corner
    Just another in a long line of missed opportunities
     
  17. -Magua- Black Belt

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2016
    Messages:
    6,702
    Likes Received:
    2,118
    [​IMG]

    Well, glad you are still here Raider Pete.

    BTW if movie would’ve just ended there, I would’ve dug it. Turrible movie.
     
    Triceratops likes this.
  18. Goon Dog Furio Belt

    Joined:
    May 3, 2006
    Messages:
    8,860
    Likes Received:
    1,298
    Location:
    Carolina
    She didn't see a single person and little dog in the dark far in the distance stepping off the sidewalk, and continued to speed toward you and eventually by you. Her excuse? Probably drunk or texting.

    You saw a car's headlights "far down the road" as you stepped into the street. You noticed the lights were approaching you quickly but continued into the street and then stopped in the middle of the fucking road so that she could nearly kill you and your pup. Your excuse? That's a damned good question ...
     
    Brendon Katz likes this.
  19. hohner Titanium Belt

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2006
    Messages:
    35,426
    Likes Received:
    3,891
    I assumed this was going to be about autoerotic asphyxiation.
     
  20. Red Beard Black Belt

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2016
    Messages:
    6,074
    Likes Received:
    6,331
    Location:
    Somewhere in the mountains
    You should have started a tik tok and accused her of trying to meet an underage child. It's all the rage on the interwebz.
     
    Triceratops and Jack&Cat like this.

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.