How to stop water hitting your ass when u take a shit.

[shidokanartist]

Originally posted by nakedchoke
I have never seen this dog eating shit stuff but it must go on, I will let you know after I try for myself. Just think of all money I could have saved on toilet paper over the years.

I was once told by a dog trainer that dogs instinctively eat their own shit to cover up the scent trail. ( also why they kick it all over with back paws) Dogs have very big teeth so they make me very nervous when getting to close to the bollas. Some breeds can crush a board with their bite. I'll stick with t.p., safer all round.

 

[Deleted member 53]

That is my preferred method of wanking in public anyway. lol

The relaxing ones are the best or the slightly slippery round the edge solid ones that glide out so elegently. Straining is not advised but if you feel it needs to be done they you must go ahead.

Donegal that is a loevly story.

 

[Deleted member 53]

I suppose that a Dog could bite your balls but that just adds to the experience, dont you think?

 

[Cesaro]

when you're relaxed and just let nature take its course, things will be a lot easier during and after. now if your stomach is boiling or you're just trying to reproduce Cheronobyl just for the hell of it, then sometimes you're going to emmerge from the boiler room with a lot more than you asked for.

 

[shidokanartist]

I posted this in donegal's "other uses for pets thread" I like to hang my balls in my gold fish tank and let them nibble on them. It tickles.

 

[Deleted member 53]

You dont dip your penis in milk and get your cat to lick it off as well do you?

 

[Magic Man]

Originally posted by shidokanartist
I posted this in donegal's "other uses for pets thread" I like to hang my balls in my gold fish tank and let them nibble on them. It tickles.

BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 

[shidokanartist]

Originally posted by nakedchoke
You dont dip your penis in milk and get your cat to lick it off as well do you?

OUCH! Cats tongue too rough. Also, there is that teeth too close to nuts issue.

 

[Dome]

How dare someone start this topic when I am not online, that is pure fucking disrespect.

The toilet paper works, but is amateur. It not only wastes paper, but can make one dependant on it.

The correct method for controlling splash-back/ass-splash is to contour the shit itself with your ass muscles. Much like an Olympic diver, you want your shits to cause as little turbulence as possible. By beveling of the head of the shit, this is exactly what you can do. Observe the wind tunnel results:

As you can clearly see, the untreated shit on the right suffers from non-uniform, potential ass-splashing contours. Notice the wind patterns. Very interesting.

The shit on the left (the correct shit) suffers from no such problems. It will ensure a minimum of splashing, and thus the driest ass possible. All with no paper.

 

[shidokanartist]

That is brilliant! It seems like it may take considerable practice though. Headin out for some bannanas and ex-lax.

 

[Scarface]

Dome, I am a felow scientist and agree with your logic. But I have one prblem with it and i speak from personal experience. I have tried to squeeze my muscles to make my shit more areodynamic, but sometimes it besomes curved and comes out rubbing on one side of my asscheeks. It feels like I toook a good shit, but when I wipe I'm like WTF?!?!?! A bunch of shit smear on one ass cheek while the other is as clean and dry as a whitsle. and don't even mention those stray ass hairs that get tangled up and steer the shit away from its natural course. As far s water hitting your ass, it's a tricky one. If the spirits are good to you on that particular day, then you will have those badass shits where you only have to wipe once or twice. Otherwise, you have to use half a fuckin roll to make sure you got all teh skidmakrs off your ass. I usually wet the toilet paper a little with the faucet water and wipe with that so I can be sure that all the shit is gone from my ass when I wipe. One question. have any of you experinced a shit whereyou feel like you have to take a big shit, and as hard as you try to push it out, only pencil thin logs come out? THEN, later on in the evening, you takle one of those massive shits where the shit has petrified inyou rsystem and doesn't have the elasitcity to turn around the bowl, thus creating a log that won't flush?

 

[Dome]

Scarface you points are all dually noted. I really appreciate you taking a scientific approach to the topic.

As far as the curving and such goes, all I can say is "it takes time". It may not happen today, it may not happen next month, or even next year. But one day it will all make sense.

 

[CriPpLer]

NEVER PUSH!!!


Dome.......have you any advice on piles??

 

[Dome]

Sit indian style and breath using your diaphram. Make circular motions with your fingers and make sure your lower back is nice and loose.

 

[Cesaro]

im interested in pursuing the career of an excrement propulsion technologist.. is anyone here involved or had any experience in this particular field?

 

[shidokanartist]

Nothing pro, just hobby category. Like, too much beer and Taco bell. That usually sets up pretty well for a ball and ass drenching.

 

[Scarface]

Originally posted by shidokanartist
Nothing pro, just hobby category. Like, too much beer and Taco bell. That usually sets up pretty well for a ball and ass drenching.

LMFAO!!!!!!! Dome thank you for your opinion. It is handy to have a keen background in Chemistry like I do, and in physics. But alas, the mystery of how shit comes out will never be solved. Maybe hte Dali Lama up in Tibet knows some shit(no pun intended) on our subject. Crippler thanks for the advice on not pushing. It's just that sometimes I want ot haev that "light in teh ass" feeling whithout having to worry about taking a shit in public facilities. as far as teh curving, I should just start trimming my ass and nut hairs.

 

[Scarface]

Originally posted by Dome
How dare someone start this topic when I am not online, that is pure fucking disrespect.

The toilet paper works, but is amateur. It not only wastes paper, but can make one dependant on it.

The correct method for controlling splash-back/ass-splash is to contour the shit itself with your ass muscles. Much like an Olympic diver, you want your shits to cause as little turbulence as possible. By beveling of the head of the shit, this is exactly what you can do. Observe the wind tunnel results:

As you can clearly see, the untreated shit on the right suffers from non-uniform, potential ass-splashing contours. Notice the wind patterns. Very interesting.

The shit on the left (the correct shit) suffers from no such problems. It will ensure a minimum of splashing, and thus the driest ass possible. All with no paper.

I justreanalyzed the data on the pics and I see that the areodynamic shitbrick on teh left has all indications of having been pinched.The "fingerprint actually tells you how much pounds per square inch of force it took to cut the loaf. It also indicates that the shitter probably got shitstains all over his assscheeks. WHat do you think?

 

[Sabretooth]

You guys are absolutley fuckin' killing me!

Dome, you should go stand-up with this stuff!



It's amazing how many miles Magic has gotten out of this topic...how many boards have you posted this on now bub?

 

[TheGame]

LMFAO at this thread!