How to stay confident right after a loss? (wrestling)

I was an OTC resident athlete for 4 years, having a small level of success at the national/international level. I tore my ACL for the third time and now I compete in bjj while coaching a highschool with no middle school feeders, and a gym with some very high level MMA fighters. I would never be able to coach at the Olympic level simply because I never even made it to the Olympics, nor was #1 on the world team for USA.
I wouldnt want to anyway.

That's too bad. I was part of a nationally ranked squad and our coach didn't sound as good as you.
 
I used to be the same way as you. In fact I was probably even worse. Same day matches weren't as bad for me as matches down the road like at the league or regional tourneys. If I had lost to a guy back in November I would carry that with me through the rest of the season or even into the next.

Well I lost to this guy last year so I'll probably lose again. It wasn't until I got older that I realized how negative an impact that sort of thinking has on your success. I regret holding onto that thought process for so long, I wonder what if I had gone into each and every match with a new outlook or desire?

And in fact, that is the great thing about wrestling or bjj. So what if you lost a 6-8 minute match? You are more than likely going to get another chance so make the most of it. Learn from your mistakes and capitalize on theirs. Show them and everyone watching that that wasn't the "real" you before, this is.

Don't think about what they did last time or what they may do this time. Think about what YOU are going to do and that's it. See yourself doing these things and not reacting to things he might do. You can only control your own thoughts and reactions right?

For comparison purposes (all were on varsity) - 9th grade, 101 lbs, 5-12; 10th, 101 lbs, 11-9; 11th, 122 lbs, 14-8; 12th, 135 lbs, 20-8. And 12th grade was the only year I ever placed at state.
 
That's too bad. I was part of a nationally ranked squad and our coach didn't sound as good as you.

Coaches who were highschool and college level guys often dont see the big picture as well as guys who have faced Olympic and World level competition on a frequent basis. Once you start going toe to toe with those guys daily, coaching highschool kids is much easier simply because you are aware of how fast improvement happens with proper strategy at the lower levels vs how fucking hard it is to improve just 1% at the highest levels. This is why you see most guys who placed top 8 at US Opens/Olympic/world team trials surrounded by a few Fargo champs who started out as mid level highschool wrestlers.
 
Coaches who were highschool and college level guys often dont see the big picture as well as guys who have faced Olympic and World level competition on a frequent basis. Once you start going toe to toe with those guys daily, coaching highschool kids is much easier simply because you are aware of how fast improvement happens with proper strategy at the lower levels vs how fucking hard it is to improve just 1% at the highest levels. This is why you see most guys who placed top 8 at US Opens/Olympic/world team trials surrounded by a few Fargo champs who started out as mid level highschool wrestlers.

Tell me about it. I wrestled a few of those super high level guys before(not competition, seminar) and it seemed like those guys just knew their body mechanics better than me. I would have them 90% taken down and they'll find some way to scramble out.
 
0-22 my freshman year, 22-18 my sophomore, 30-10 my junior year, and I've been injured for most of my senior year. Mat time is all that matters for your first couple years

Be glad you had time to turn the corner. I was a junior when I began wrestling, and only got 7 matches that year (2-5) because I had the team captain (a 4-year starter) in my weight class. Suffice it to say that when I got to start as a senior, things didn't exactly go according to plan.
 
Hey man, winning isn't everything, giving 100% is. You learn from competition no matter if you win or lose, so don't worry about your record, just train hard and fight hard.
 
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