How many of you are truly happy? (and achieved some measure of life satisfaction)

tonysmasseuse said:
That's ^^^ an amazing turn of phrase.
Rich enough to be a mantra.
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Thanks, the last couple years have been a real roller coaster for me, lots of ups and downs. I finally realized there's no escaping my depression and anxiety.

But I CAN still accomplish things, and if I wait long enough something eventually makes me feel happy and alive again. Even if only for a moment. Just can't give up.
 
Sometimes I start to get a little depressed because I tend to compare myself to my bosses, who are all super smart and successful.

but then I hear about all the problems you guys have that I don't and then I feel pretty satisfied with my life.

Thanks sherdog!
 
Son of Jamin said:
I have been feeling very down in the past but today, I almost laugh out loud at all the blessings in my life I’m not worthy of!

- I have a beautiful queen
- An amazing kid
- A great home
- Good friends
- A well-paying and stimulating job
- a possibility to save money for rainy days

I’m so thankful to God above because one thing is sure, I’m not worthy of all the above!
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I have all those things except the ability to save. I make good money but my wife spends it all!
 
Happiness is subjective, and not the goal of existence. We're here to suffer. It is the baseline, which all life flees from.
Unless suffering is the direct and immediate object of life, our existence must entirely fail of its aim. It is absurd to look upon the enormous amount of pain that abounds everywhere in the world, and originates in needs and necessities inseparable from life itself, as serving no purpose at all and the result of mere chance. Each separate misfortune, as it comes, seems, no doubt, to be something exceptional; but misfortune in general is the rule.
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https://ebooks.adelaide.edu.au/s/schopenhauer/arthur/pessimism/chapter1.html

There exist people who derive happiness from the foulest of deeds. Hedonism does not make the world a better place.

Personally, whether or not I attain happiness is secondary to whether or not I increase/decrease the suffering (of the good people) of this world.
 
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My family (kids, wife, extended) gives me great Joy. I love my friends and social life. I have money, a home, a good career. I’m in good shape. I’m happy. The only thing that could make my life better would be to make money doing something I really enjoyed with less stress.
 
Brampton_Boy said:
I wouldn't think that watching a "Fighter and the Kid" podcast would get me thinking about existential questions, but the following clip was really interesting.

Cliffs:
-Theo Von (great comic), is struggling with depression and feelings of self worth
-Bryan Callen relates and gives some really amazing insight and experience on the subject
-Brendan Schuab looks at his sneakers, then outs his assistant as suffering from depression

Alot of the topic was how even the most successful and creative of us, struggle with feelings of inadequacy and pervasive depression.

I think virtually everyone of us struggles with this to a degree - when I was younger, I experienced acute depression because of specific life catalysts: My mother had cancer three times, I felt tremendous familial pressure to succeed at school etc. I recognized I needed help, sought assistance from a great support network, and became more resilient and better able to cope with life stressors.

However, with age, depression has been replaced by a "What's next?" feeling. I suppose the best way to characterize it is a lack of fulfillment, and then subsequent guilt for not being grateful for the wonderful things I do have.

All the things I wanted as a young man in my teens and 20s I have more or less achieved. Instead of feeling gratification or a sense of accomplishment, I just push the goal posts further down the line to give myself something new to work towards.

The only major life goal I have yet to achieve is to start a family, and it genuinely terrifies me to think that I wouldn't be able to feel satisfaction/fulfillment from that (everybody tells me it is life changing... but what if something is broken inside me and it isn't?)

I once had a conversation with a person who said that happiness was a curse. Happiness habituates contentment, contentment habituates complacency, and complacency habituates laziness. If you want to grow as a person, never be happy.

How many of you are happy and satisfied with their life, and if so, what brought that perspective? (I'm going to assume those with children are going to vote this way). Also, did achieving that happiness quell that flame in you to want for more, or did it encourage it.

P.S: This isn't a "woe is me" post - I have a great family/friends, awesome dog, established career and a color changing car. 95% of the time I am too busy to be introspective, but when I do take the time to sit down and think about it, I feel like a bit of an impostor/ungrateful (if I have all these great things, why don't I feel happier, and if I'm not happy, do I even really deserve the people and things I have?).
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If you don't mind me asking, how old are you? Sometimes it helps give more perspective to your thoughts from us old dudes.
 
my drinking problem took away my happiness for a while but I think I am achieving happiness again.
 
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I guess I am. I think by nature we always think the grass is greener wherever we aren't but I have things. I can buy myself fun shit if I want. I have a cool kid and a good wife. I'm secure enough, I guess.
 
Grassshoppa said:
If you don't mind me asking, how old are you? Sometimes it helps give more perspective to your thoughts from us old dudes.
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34 - It's starting to sink in that I'm no longer a young man, and that I should be considering settling down (or at least finding a more purposeful direction in life).

I spent my entire adult life cultivating a successful academic career - for the most part, I have exceeded my own expectations and have achieved what I set out to do (become a professor, respected in my field etc.). However, at no point has any of my personal milestones brought me a sense of satisfaction. I distinctly remember sitting on the bus home after defending my Ph.D thesis (a 5 year exercise that ate up my mid 20s), and instead of feeling happy, I was hungry and tired (no different than most days).

Every achievement seemed to make my family/friends happier than it made me (and that in and of itself brought some joy).

Even non career stuff - buying a house, getting engaged (which later ended), etc. felt like checking things off a list, and not necessarily brought sustained happiness.

Don't get me wrong, I don't feel depressed either - it's more like going through the motions.
 
Been dealing with depression and anxiety since I was about 15, I've done pretty well for myself...own my home, two cars etc but my social circles and romantic life has gone down the tubes. Wasted my 20's really, basically just drank a lot and didn't have any focus. 31 now and my mental state has taken a dive, feels like I've wasted my youth and time. As time goes on I find it hard to hold hope so I've lost all motivation to look and care for myself anymore but I'm trying to let go of the past and just move on. Started seeing a shrink over the past few years and don't drink or indulge in drugs as much as I use to, well aside from chronic anyway. Realistically probably need to try anti depressants but I've constantly rejected them thinking things would get better.
 
Brampton_Boy said:
34 - It's starting to sink in that I'm no longer a young man, and that I should be considering settling down (or at least finding a more purposeful direction in life).

I spent my entire adult life cultivating a successful academic career - for the most part, I have exceeded my own expectations and have achieved what I set out to do (become a professor, respected in my field etc.). However, at no point has any of my personal milestones brought me a sense of satisfaction. I distinctly remember sitting on the bus home after defending my Ph.D thesis (a 5 year exercise that ate up my mid 20s), and instead of feeling happy, I was hungry and tired (no different than most days).

Every achievement seemed to make my family/friends happier than it made me (and that in and of itself brought some joy).

Even non career stuff - buying a house, getting engaged (which later ended), etc. felt like checking things off a list, and not necessarily brought sustained happiness.

Don't get me wrong, I don't feel depressed either - it's more like going through the motions.
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You should google Dysthymia or look up peoples experiences with it on Reddit. It's a depressive disorder in which the person doesn't feel depressed or suicidal, but just very apathetic or indifferent towards life. I fought and won my second pro boxing match after spending all my 20's training. I felt no different getting my hand raised during that fight than I did in any amateur fights. I didn't feel any joy or elation or need to celebrate. Athletes always talk about the "blood, sweat, and tears" but I could never gather what they meant by the tears part. To me it was like you said, going through the motions. That's when I knew something was wrong with me on the human level spectrum of emotions.

Might not hurt to look into it. Also since you're asking for answers on an anonymous forum, it might also not be a bad idea to look into therapy. Which is basically the same thing, except instead of fellow Sherdoggers you have a professional with an unbiased opinion.

revoltub said:
Whenever I achieve something, I don't feel any satisfaction or achievement. Even things I've worked tirelessly on.
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revoltub said:
My friends when they graduated college threw huge parties and celebrated and of course posted it on social media for the likes and attention. Not saying they shouldn't be proud they should.

When I graduated I really didnt give 2 shits even though I busted my ass. I told basically nobody and there's people I know who don't even know I graduated at all.
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See above. Trained for years to have a pro fight. Felt nothing after essentially achieving a goal that took 10 years of my life. Turns out it was absolutely not normal lol.
 
3DayFunk said:
How much weight have you put on haha, Thailand destroys me
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I got pretty skinny. I've been moving around a lot and the portions are smaller than what I'm used to.

In Cambodia now and the portions seem a bit bigger.
 
Pugilistic said:
I got pretty skinny. I've been moving around a lot and the portions are smaller than what I'm used to.

In Cambodia now and the portions seem a bit bigger.
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Beer is cheaper in Cambodia as well
 
Brampton_Boy said:
I spent my entire adult life cultivating a successful academic career - for the most part, I have exceeded my own expectations and have achieved what I set out to do (become a professor, respected in my field etc.). However, at no point has any of my personal milestones brought me a sense of satisfaction. I distinctly remember sitting on the bus home after defending my Ph.D thesis (a 5 year exercise that ate up my mid 20s), and instead of feeling happy, I was hungry and tired (no different than most days).
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This makes me wonder how much of the career is about extrinsic vs. intrinsic rewards. Do you not enjoy the work you are doing?

From what I've read in this thread, it seems like happiness boils down to financial stability and a career you enjoy. Everything else is built on that foundation.
 
I don't need to be happy, I'd just settle for not remembering the last time I felt like shit.
 
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