How many of you are truly happy? (and achieved some measure of life satisfaction)

Discussion in 'Mayberry Lounge' started by Brampton_Boy, Mar 31, 2019.

  1. Brampton_Boy

    Brampton_Boy Douchey Mc Douche

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    I wouldn't think that watching a "Fighter and the Kid" podcast would get me thinking about existential questions, but the following clip was really interesting.

    Cliffs:
    -Theo Von (great comic), is struggling with depression and feelings of self worth
    -Bryan Callen relates and gives some really amazing insight and experience on the subject
    -Brendan Schuab looks at his sneakers, then outs his assistant as suffering from depression

    Alot of the topic was how even the most successful and creative of us, struggle with feelings of inadequacy and pervasive depression.

    I think virtually everyone of us struggles with this to a degree - when I was younger, I experienced acute depression because of specific life catalysts: My mother had cancer three times, I felt tremendous familial pressure to succeed at school etc. I recognized I needed help, sought assistance from a great support network, and became more resilient and better able to cope with life stressors.

    However, with age, depression has been replaced by a "What's next?" feeling. I suppose the best way to characterize it is a lack of fulfillment, and then subsequent guilt for not being grateful for the wonderful things I do have.

    All the things I wanted as a young man in my teens and 20s I have more or less achieved. Instead of feeling gratification or a sense of accomplishment, I just push the goal posts further down the line to give myself something new to work towards.

    The only major life goal I have yet to achieve is to start a family, and it genuinely terrifies me to think that I wouldn't be able to feel satisfaction/fulfillment from that (everybody tells me it is life changing... but what if something is broken inside me and it isn't?)

    I once had a conversation with a person who said that happiness was a curse. Happiness habituates contentment, contentment habituates complacency, and complacency habituates laziness. If you want to grow as a person, never be happy.

    How many of you are happy and satisfied with their life, and if so, what brought that perspective? (I'm going to assume those with children are going to vote this way). Also, did achieving that happiness quell that flame in you to want for more, or did it encourage it.

    P.S: This isn't a "woe is me" post - I have a great family/friends, awesome dog, established career and a color changing car. 95% of the time I am too busy to be introspective, but when I do take the time to sit down and think about it, I feel like a bit of an impostor/ungrateful (if I have all these great things, why don't I feel happier, and if I'm not happy, do I even really deserve the people and things I have?).
     
  2. breadfighter

    breadfighter Toiling in underground sugar caves

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    Before I learned I suffered from depression I always told people I never wanted to have kids or get married. I actually didn't even have a plan for my life past 30 years old. Though throughout this time I learned that I would never be happy just living for myself. All that traveling to cool places, having cool experiences and/or obtaining wealth/things will just leave you feeling empty in the end. I really believe you have to sacrifice your time and well being for something/someone other than yourself to really feel fulfilled. Then I realized having a child is a perfect catalyst for that (which is weird because I always scoffed at the idea). That is if you are in the correct mind state and position to raise a child.

    I'm not the authority on happiness, but living for myself never brought me anything but an empty feeling afterwards. My next life goal is to find something to really give myself to whether it's having a kid or helping the homeless or something.
     
    Last edited: Apr 1, 2019
  3. JabToucher

    JabToucher Black Belt

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    I got to become a black belt on sherdog.
     
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  4. RetiredSlave

    RetiredSlave Brown Belt

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    My core life philosophy is observant neutrality. Ive been happy and miserable, often simultaneously but I always try to make it back to the fulcrum.

    Ill never aim for happiness or even contentment, theyre effects of other things and empty pursuits in and of themselves. Misery is healthy if harnessed correctly contrary to what the pharmacy might tell you.
     
  5. breadfighter

    breadfighter Toiling in underground sugar caves

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    On happiness habituating contentment and complacency. If you think about it, having a kid makes you miserable and doesn't allow you time to be content or complacent as the child is constantly growing and it's needs are constantly changing. You need to always be on your toes (if you're not a shit parent that is).

    It makes total sense then that this would be the opposite of happiness. It's sacrifice and struggle, yet out of it comes a beautiful and pure thing. It's a paradox that makes complete sense.
     
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  6. no fat chicks

    no fat chicks Worlds greatest poster

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    Always remember just how awful the lives of others are and have been throughout history. For every complaint you have someone else would die to trade places with you. Right now I have a great gf, steady job and get to do a lot to activities. Life is good. Plus I get to sherdog.
     
  7. ctrlaltdelete

    ctrlaltdelete Brown Belt

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    So I'll be on my way to happiness soon. Once I can finish a few more semesters, once I move out of this apartment, when I start to " settle " a bit. Then I can concentrate on my hobbies, on women, and on myself.

    Off topic :
    I'm realizing that I'm happier alone than I am with a signifigant other.

    if I could just date through the rest of my life, I'll be a happy man.
     
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  8. Vitor CroCop

    Vitor CroCop Right Wing Liberal Platinum Member

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  9. Son of Jamin

    Son of Jamin Make MMA Great Again

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    I have been feeling very down in the past but today, I almost laugh out loud at all the blessings in my life I’m not worthy of!

    - I have a beautiful queen
    - An amazing kid
    - A great home
    - Good friends
    - A well-paying and stimulating job
    - a possibility to save money for rainy days

    I’m so thankful to God above because one thing is sure, I’m not worthy of all the above!
     
  10. breadfighter

    breadfighter Toiling in underground sugar caves

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    Yeah, if you think about it that's all you really need. You always hear farmers state that they're super happy toiling and doing farm shit day after day. I believe them. Of course that sounds like shit to us because we have everything now vying for dopamine in our brains and we don't have enough of it to go around. There's no way we could ever be content with that now. It's no wonder so many people in this day and age exhibit serious symptoms of depression. Everyone literally has the mind of a drug addict.

    Fight Club had it right in the sense that the things you own end up owning you. But what it didn't get right was that nihilism and self destruction are the only answers. I think everything you named was all you really need to live a happy fulfilled life.
     
    Last edited: Apr 1, 2019
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  11. King Koopa

    King Koopa Blue Belt

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    I don’t get depressed. I don’t let anything slow me down and never did. Due to my fucked up childhood, there are some emotions that I simply don’t feel. I haven’t cried since I was 4 years old either. But I use all the fucked up trauma from my childhood and growing up as an advantage - an exteme mental advantage over other people. The fact that I know people get effected badly from negative occurrences in their life and I don’t, reminds me of the advantages I have over others. Being more mentally powerful is a huge benefit in this unforgiving world.

    Yes I know it’s good to have emotions and feelings, it’s part of being human. But when you totally lack certain emotions such as fear and grief of anything menial - and realize it is impossible to be effected negatively or be set back from absolutely anything - you have to embrace it and use it to your benefits; which is exactly what I do and it’s benefited me hugely so far ;)

    Sometimes I may take it a little too hard on some people, for thinking they are pussies because they get upset and depressed over something (that I) would never get upset over and think they are being wimps. And then I realize most people have emotions to get upset from stuff that happens in their lives. But getting upset and sad and curling up into a ball too often, over menial things - is a form of weakness in my eyes and I observe these traits and weaknesses very closely in people - especially with people around me or people I may do business with. Thinking with your heart before you think with your head is a weakness too, and can cause you to make horrible wreckless decisions.

    I should also add

    All Humans make errors, and mistakes. That’s why we call them “human errors”. Being inhuman in some instances can be a positive thing, like you’re a machine. Something like this can be a huge positive in the business world for example. And to answer your thread question - yes I am very happy. I experience extreme happiness everyday. And its even stronger happiness than normal because it’s all because of how I decided to make out my life myself, with no help. No handouts or silver spoon feeding by anyone. Everything is the way it is, because of How I made it. Only I. There is no other feeling as unique as self accomplishment; no matter what the accomplishment is.
     
    Last edited: Apr 1, 2019
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  12. pookiyama

    pookiyama Purple Belt

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    I raised my little sisters for the last 7 years. At this point ill always be able to have pride in myself. Tangible accomplishment and/or self actualization are the keys to long term happiness.

    Both require massive sacrifice of short term happiness and both build the foundation for long term happiness in doing so.

    The Tao Te Ching is basically an essay on the topic of happiness.

    Note - if youre unhappy, get a kitten.
     
  13. sweetviolenturg

    sweetviolenturg Purple Belt Professional Fighter

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    I'm doing OK. Which is saying a lot because I'm bipolar which predominantly manifests itself as dysthymic depression. On top of that, I have ADD as well with a wee bit of OCD to top things off. So, I should be a bloody wreck. But, thankfully, despite my issues I've always been high functioning. So, I've accomplished some things in life that I'm quite proud of.
    Among them is being a moderately talented amateur & professional boxer while attending college full time, attaining the rank of black belt in kickboxing & later, Kajukenbo. Things that I'm still shocked that I was able to do while battling a mental illness & a disorder while unmedicated through most of it. But, despite my accomplishments, it was difficult for me to enjoy them because of my dysthymia. I went through entire years-long relationships without really enjoying the time that I spent with those people as well as experiencing the birth of three kids while feeling emotionally compromised as well.
    I made some poor career choices along the way & went through a bad marriage while losing both parents along the way. So, there were are a lot of dark days too. With the nadir coming after my ( soon to be ex ) wife & I split up in 2012. That bleak period lasted until 2016 when I was finally properly diagnosed & medicated after which it was like a dense fog had been lifted from all around me. I'd been enveloped in it for most of my life.
    About a year later in 2017, I met my fiance in a UFC Facebook group, we hit it off, we spent five months in an online relationship & then I went to SoCal to meet her at her hometown in Orange. We fell in love & not too long after that she was living with me back in Niagara Falls.
    Which, I know sounds like total bullshit but is 100% legit. Now, we're just waiting for my divorce to be final so that we can get married & then go live in Sedona, AZ.
    It took me the better part of 50 + years to reach this point in my life but I've finally reached some contentment & I'm doing everything that I can to enjoy it. Luckily I've always looked & felt ( mentally, emotionally & physically ) younger than I am which definitely helps when it comes to enjoying life ( as does the fact that my soon to be wife is 20 years younger than me LOL ).
    So, it's never too late to turn things around & to find contentment. I'm living proof of that. Four years ago I wanted to die. Now I'm at the best point of my life.
     
  14. Midnighter

    Midnighter Silver Belt

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    Happiness is nothing.
     
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  15. Pugilistic

    Pugilistic Red Belt

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    I've traveling Thailand for the past month and I've been waking up with an intense sense of gratitude almost every. I find myself walking around with a smile on my face. I'm so lucky to see the beauty and wonders of the world. I had my birthday last week and that was probably the first time on my birthday I was grateful to have been born.
     
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  16. Jack Reacheround

    Jack Reacheround Never Go Black

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    I’m pretty happy with where I’m at. I finished school, have a great job, am married, have a nice house, nice car, and was finally able to start training Muay Thai. The Muay Thai makes me extremely happy. I love doing it. I wasn’t able to do any athletic activity for many years due to injury and health issues. I think that was the missing piece of the puzzle there.
     
  17. 3DayFunk

    3DayFunk Yellow Card Yellow Card

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    How much weight have you put on haha, Thailand destroys me
     
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  18. Which Doctor

    Which Doctor The Cabana Boy Belt

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    Bringing your towel to you...with pleasure.
    Freedom's just another word for...nothing left to lose.
     
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  19. Phr3121

    Phr3121 Black Belt Platinum Member

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    I am.


    ...I can expand on it if you want.
     
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  20. Phr3121

    Phr3121 Black Belt Platinum Member

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    Not everyone feels happy and fulfillment in a marriage. It may relate to you, your partner or both. My marriage did not work and I lost a son in the process.
    Lack of happiness may come from lack of achievement, self-esteem, and emotional issues. You deserve all the people and things you have in your life. Happiness has nothing to do with that.

    I am older now and going through what I consider some of the best years of my life. I had my career (military) and family. I truly enjoy time alone, peace and quiet. Much of my happiness these days comes from helping others achieve their goals and rescuing animals. Yes, I'm the guy who rescued and now raises 5 donkeys. The donkeys have also done a lot to better my life.

     
    Last edited: Apr 1, 2019

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