how long should a parent pay for a kid's phone?

Fedorgasm

Fedorgasm

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Just told my 17 year old son that I'm not paying for his phone service anymore.

I can afford it, but the kid has no motivation to get a job, so I figure if I stop paying for it then he'll feel some of the pain of being broke and want to get a job.

A friend of mine said I should've waited till he was done with high school, so he could focus on grades. But I worked part time when I was in high school so I wanted him to learn some responsibility like I did at that age.

As usual, I figured the best place to go for important life decisions would be a karate forum
 
Why don't you just set him up with a job at your family's Chinese restaurant? He'll learn a hard day's work and how to make a mean pork-fried rice.
 
Horse Style said:
Why don't you just set him up with a job at your family's Chinese restaurant? He'll learn a hard day's work and how to make a mean pork-fried rice.
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That's funny. He's always comparing me to that strict Asian father meme.

I take it you think I should pay for his phone til he graduates?
 
There's also the issue of emergencies. He is a new driver so if he gets in an accident then I'll want him to be able to call me.

Maybe I'll get him a cheap flip phone and if he wants a better one then he's on his own.
 
Fedorgasm said:
That's funny. He's always comparing me to that strict Asian father meme.

I take it you think I should pay for his phone til he graduates?
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That's up to you. You're responsible for him until he's of age but that doesn't automatically mean you have to give him a phone. I don't know enough about the situation to give you advice on that.
 
Until they’re done with college I guess. The only full frowns I’ve ever known who’s parents pay for their phones are when the child is a complete dependent.
 
I have 2 kids. To be honest by paying for a phone for anything other than wifi access and minimal credit you've already set the pattern, to pull it off him at 17 'out of the blue' isn't really fair on him (and I'd be considered a hard ass parent). I'm just judging this from an outside perspective...I appreciate different angles on parenting for my own kids sometimes.

I'd keep paying the bills til he has graduated HS- but most importantly warn him of your plans long before that date...as well as highlight any expectations before then. For example

1- if you graduate and want to goto college then I expect you to work 'x amount of hours' yourself
2- if you graduate and dont want to goto college you will find a full time job, or 2 part time jobs etc
 
I bought my phone and paid for the cellular bills since I was 13 from my savings.
 
If they are doing good in school and have plans of college then I'd probably continue to pay. But if they're just going to be a garbage man than get ya a job now and pay your own shit... not that there's anything wrong with garbage men
 
Fedorgasm said:
Just told my 17 year old son that I'm not paying for his phone service anymore.

I can afford it, but the kid has no motivation to get a job, so I figure if I stop paying for it then he'll feel some of the pain of being broke and want to get a job.

A friend of mine said I should've waited till he was done with high school, so he could focus on grades. But I worked part time when I was in high school so I wanted him to learn some responsibility like I did at that age.

As usual, I figured the best place to go for important life decisions would be a karate forum
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We're told our kids that we'd cover it while they were in school. My daughter is 24 and in medical school and it's the only thing we help pay for (though we'll help her out with her student loans later), so that's not bad.

My son isn't in school anymore and his phone was up for renewal, so I was going to tell him he was on his own, but my wife - who was a hardass about it six months ago ("Don't back down and offer to pay for his phone! He needs to learn responsibility!") caved and extended his plan.

Fedorgasm said:
There's also the issue of emergencies. He is a new driver so if he gets in an accident then I'll want him to be able to call me.

Maybe I'll get him a cheap flip phone and if he wants a better one then he's on his own.
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Yeah, that was part of it - wanting to make sure they could get us if they needed to.

The funny thing is, we have always paid for less stuff for our kids than most of their friends even though we have more money than most of their parents. It's amazing how much people do for their kids these days and it does them no good. Our kids are way more independent than most. But maybe that's the point - keep them dependent.
 
You're in the right.
Kid needs motivation. He won't get pussy without a phone so he'll get on that
 
kinda weak to make him/expect him to get a job while in highschool, just because you had to.

These should be some of the greatest most care-free years of his life. Will never get them back. Let him at least graduate before hunting down a job.

not my kid though.
 
my two daughters never had to have phones or stuff like that but if they wanted that type of 'discretionary' stuff they had to have a job to contribute.

Unlike @IloveTHIS I believe having a job and being responsible adds to those best years of your life. As contributing to them and not just having them gifted to you makes them mean more.

Of course if they don't want that type of discretionary stuff then they don't have to work.

My kids started working with chores around the house at about age 10 and then on to part time jobs by 16 since they already had that work ethic.
 
Fedorgasm said:
Just told my 17 year old son that I'm not paying for his phone service anymore.

I can afford it, but the kid has no motivation to get a job, so I figure if I stop paying for it then he'll feel some of the pain of being broke and want to get a job.

A friend of mine said I should've waited till he was done with high school, so he could focus on grades. But I worked part time when I was in high school so I wanted him to learn some responsibility like I did at that age.

As usual, I figured the best place to go for important life decisions would be a karate forum
Click to expand...
I had my first job when I was 9. I used to go to my mom's friend's health food store after school and do stuff like make sushi or sweep up. I also worked at Newbury Comics (Boston music/movies/comics chain) when I was 13 and at an independent movie theater when I was 14. So that was 3 jobs before I even began high school. However, during high school, I focused on school and getting into college (although I did work vocation at the school's print shop during my junior year).

My advice is let him be a kid while he still can and focus on school and hopefully getting into college and doing something practical or something he's passionate about. You don't have to be a hard ass all the time and he doesn't necessarily have to follow in your footsteps all the time. I think you jumped the gun a little bit. If he's still doing the same shit as an adult and not going to school or working or at least trying to get a job, then fine, cut him off, but I think you should just let him enjoy life and not stress about this while he finishes up high school and preps for the SAT and whatnot.
 
You're right. I got no allowance as a kid and because of that started working when I was 13 so I could buy stuff I wanted. Kids today never work until they get out of college. It's not good for learning work ethic.
 
BillytheFish said:
I have 2 kids. To be honest by paying for a phone for anything other than wifi access and minimal credit you've already set the pattern, to pull it off him at 17 'out of the blue' isn't really fair on him (and I'd be considered a hard ass parent). I'm just judging this from an outside perspective...I appreciate different angles on parenting for my own kids sometimes.

I'd keep paying the bills til he has graduated HS- but most importantly warn him of your plans long before that date...as well as highlight any expectations before then. For example

1- if you graduate and want to goto college then I expect you to work 'x amount of hours' yourself
2- if you graduate and dont want to goto college you will find a full time job, or 2 part time jobs etc
Click to expand...
The way I worded it makes it seem like I did it without warning. My fault. I actually told him 3 months ago that I prepaid for 3 months of service and that's the last time. I did that to give him time to get a job, but he only applied to 2 jobs. He got 1 interview but I think he sabotaged it because he doesn't want to work. Then he never applied for anything else for months and now his phone service ran out.

If he were getting straight A's then I'd keep paying. But his grades have been bad the past few years. He's smart enough to be in the advanced classes but since he failed them last year, he had to switch to all easy classes this year.

He's not getting into Harvard. If he goes to college it will be the junior college probably but honestly I don't know if he'll even put effort into that or will he just get bad grades there too.

Just trying to get him to feel some sense of urgency to work hard at something.
 
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Depends on the kid. I would probably weigh that against his grades/effort. If he was crushing everything I’d wait until bit after he graduated high school.

17 is a good age to start learning what a healthy work ethic can provide.
 
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