How does one become a USADA Officer that goes around collecting fighters’ urine?

[PrideJitZoo]

Asking for a friend.

 

[MadDogMahoney]

Jesus Christ.

 

[Mr. Jamie Cee]

Just turn up to any male restroom with a funnel and an empty Pyrex jug. If it’s green, they fail. Anything else goes.

 

[TheAmericanGazelle]

You think you can just walk into USADA and start at the top of the pyramid like that?

What the fuck is wrong with you?

 

[BigTruck]

Just turn up to any male restroom with a funnel and an empty Pyrex jug. If it’s green, they fail. Anything else goes.

I've peed blue before. No joke.

 

[Haj01]

You must pass a series of tests to qualify. The first of which is to drink a fighter of your choosings piss.

Drink that urine then. You must backwash with a colleague. Then you must pour that piss all over your head. That is only stage 1.

 

[froggyluv]

Promotion..

 

[loisestrad]

D0 YOU WANNA BE A FUCKING URINE COLLECTOR?

 

[Mr. Jamie Cee]

I've peed blue before. No joke.

 

[FrontNakedChoke]

 

[jonathan274]

Jesus Christ.

 

[MadDogMahoney]

Jethuth Christ.

 

[Phronimos]

Start by collecting your own urine. When you are proficient at that, ask your friends and family if you can collect theirs.
Then move on to acquaintances and neighbors.
Then ask random people (a mall food court is a good place to set up shop).
After about 10000 hours 'practice' (according to Malcolm Gladwell) you should be ready.
At this point, if you read a copy of "The Secret" you will get lots of mad tips on how to visualize your dream into reality.
Then bingo-bango-bongo, before you know it, you are living the dream.
You're welcome!
Now get in there and fill that jar with piss: time and tide wait for no man.

 

[Bartinho]

Not just anyone can do that, probably requires a PeeHD

 

[Topguntrophey]