How do you punish your children for bad behavior?

SlicerDM said:
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I know that's right!
 
hurricane rada for my boy. especially when he doesn't see it coming. at lest mine is a faux wrestling move that lil effer dropped an elbow on my throat last week lol!
 
I just get a new kid and start over.
 
Shammon said:
looooool

My mom used to beat the shit outta me too. Nothing that did any internal damage though, mostly just strikes with this really thin stick that stung like crazy but only left superficial marks.
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My mother didn't care. She would f*ck me up. I guess it was because I was always a big kid and she had to go all out. From irons, to remotes, plates, planks, her fists, I even remember she combined three belts just for me one time I acted up in school. She literally told me should would bust my ass if I acted up in school in front of the class if she heard about me acting up in class again. Even at 18 when she knew I was benching 365lbs and knew I would toss her ass she still wasn't fazed. It got to the point that she told me that she was tired of whooping my ass and that she'd just pay someone else to do it (jokingly).
 
Punishment is only useful if it's consistent, proportional and dealt immediately after the infraction. If those three criteria are not fulfilled, then the punishment will lead to resentment and feeling of injustice, creating a rift in the relationship between you and your child. There is no benefit in beating a child. Guilt, moral disgust and forced self-reflection is the way to go, making the child think about how its actions hurt others.
 
Under the age of three, sometimes a well-timed swat is the only thing that will work to get the attention of a misbehaving child.

Over that, kids can understand consequences so there are other options. Threats and bribery are the mainstays of parenting, but you need to be consistent. Don't make threats you aren't prepared to carry out, and don't fail to carry out a threat if the kid doesn't comply. You also need to be consistent as a team, if one parent says something the other must back them up even if they disagree. Talk about it later but when dealing with the kid be united.
 
mathor said:
Punishment is only useful if it's consistent, proportional and dealt immediately after the infraction. If those three criteria are not fulfilled, then the punishment will lead to resentment and feeling of injustice, creating a rift in the relationship between you and your child. There is no benefit in beating a child. Guilt, moral disgust and forced self-reflection is the way to go, making the child think about how its actions hurt others.
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Legit answer. Consistency is crucial.
 
LNP 101 said:
Stop it. My mother and plenty of my friend's parents were immigrants and we'd get our asses handed to us by our parents. Have you ever been hit with an iron? Yea, let that sink in!
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My mom is Mexican. I can say I WAS hit with an iron, and most items normally found in the home.
 
The manner of punishment always depends on the nature of the transgression. For more severe problems a spanking is in order, but resorting to physical punishment all the time tends to desensitize the little miscreants.

With younger kids and most short term problems a simple time out works well enough, but with older kids or longer term problems (bad habits, character issues) a more comprehensive solution is needed, whether through grounding, revocation of privileges, fines etc.
 
The key to parenting is that you can't be afraid to beat the shit out of your kids. Not just physical abuse either, mental abuse is highly underrated.
 
Jaime81 said:
My mom is Mexican. I can say I WAS hit with an iron, and most items normally found in the home.
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Everything not nailed down or attached to a heavier object was a weapon. There were times my mother would be sitting down and starts twisting and turning looking for something to hit me with.
 
When my kid hits someone, I hit him and tell him not to hit. Everything works out.
 
It depends on the age and what they did or didn't do.

Certainly I discipline my 16 yr old differently than my 5 yr old.

You also have to understand what works with the individual kid. Quite honestly, it is a double standard as I treat my younger one differently than I did when my older was his age. What's most important, is the punishment has to be appropriate and effective. If it's not, you'll just be doing it again tomorrow.
 
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