How do you deal with female clockblocks?

Discussion in 'Mayberry Lounge' started by TheBlondBomber, Jan 7, 2015.

  1. TheBlondBomber

    TheBlondBomber Purple Belt

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    My friends and I were having this discussion about what to do when a female tries to prevent you from hooking up with another female at a bar or party. It can be pretty tricky because women pay attention to the way that you treat other women and if you treat the female cockblock bad in front of the girl you're trying to hook up with, you are probably going to end up with a one way ticket to Masturbationburg for the night. Women do this for a variety of reasons, so I ask you, Mayberry, how would you handle these different types of female cockblocks?

    1. You're talking to a female, trying to get in her pants and all of the sudden a girl you used to hook up with tries cutting into the conversation. You'd rather hook up with the other girl, but the girl you used to hook up with keeps butting in and trying to prevent you from getting laid ect... How would you handle that? (besides throwing up a hail mary and asking for a threesome)

    2. The fat friend with bangs who is intent on not letting any of her friends get laid. Pretend that none of your friends are willing to bite the bullet and spear the hog.

    3. You recently ex-girlfriend's friends who are determined to not see you move on with a hotter version of their friend.
     
  2. Toastytoy

    Toastytoy Brown Belt

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    Unless someone is willing to take one for the team there's not much you can do except get the digits and move on
     
  3. Zer

    Zer Gold Belt

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    Winds me up
     
  4. The Clamburglar

    The Clamburglar Burglin' is my game.

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    You tell your friends that they don't have to actually take the bullet, they just have to pretend long enough for you to get beyond the point of no return, then they can be like "LOL, Nooooope!" and bail.

    If none of your friends will even pretend to distract the bog monster then you're probably an asshole and deserve to get blocked.

    #clamburglarwisdom
     
  5. Plutoburn

    Plutoburn Alpha booze head

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    The real purpose of the wingman is not to help you get the girl, but to run interference on the potential **** block. Either the girl's friend or other dudes.
     
  6. GordoBarraBJJ

    GordoBarraBJJ Steel Belt

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  7. Shael

    Shael Silver Belt

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    2 is the worst
     
  8. AznCezi187

    AznCezi187 Brown Belt

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  9. Flemmy Stardust

    Flemmy Stardust King of Lea

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    If the girl is into you she'll feel cockblocked too.

    The cockblockers are not as cunning as they think they are. Kind of the opposite. They're either going to be overt bitches and call you out or they're gonna try to be subtle and come off transparent.

    Either way there's going to be opportunity to disappear with the girl you're trying to get with. She'll be trying to get away from the bullshit too.
     
  10. Randy Trevor

    Randy Trevor Hear me talkin' to you? Banned

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    Bang them also.
     
  11. Randy Trevor

    Randy Trevor Hear me talkin' to you? Banned

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    Or Instead of, depending on the scenario.
     
  12. Gus Fring

    Gus Fring Brown Belt

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    Throw a piece of bacon out the window and watch the fattie nose dive for it. Then slay the chick that you're after
     
  13. VicariousVice

    VicariousVice Brown Belt

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    Flamethrower.
     
  14. TigerUpperKut

    TigerUpperKut Purple Belt

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    I say, "move bitch!! I can't see what time it is!"
     
  15. Mickey Mick

    Mickey Mick Brown Belt

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    I'd probably yell "stop blocking my c*$%!" right in front of the girl i'm trying to bang.

    Better off being direct and showing initiative.
     
  16. Simian Raticus

    Simian Raticus GOAT in the North

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    The scugly friend is the easiest to deal with. Just converse with her and be genuinely nice and she'll relax.
     
  17. fightingrabbit

    fightingrabbit Banned Banned

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    Punch her in her bulging cameltoe
     
  18. Goonerview

    Goonerview Gold Belt

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    solid advice.

    Get the number and move on, message her a couple of days later and set a date with just the too of you. Sorted.
     
  19. PabloZed

    PabloZed Brown Belt

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    In other words, having been successfully blocked, you retreat.
     
  20. Swoliosis

    Swoliosis Black Belt

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    #1 has happened to me and it was annoying as fuck. Bitch ruined my entire weekend. She was hawt as fuck tho.
     

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