How do i get an avatar?

My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
 
My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night it was to time an egg.
 
A man goes to a psychiatrist. The doctor says, "You're crazy" The man says, "I want a second opinion!" "Okay, you're ugly too!"
 
I'm such a bad lover, last night I caught a peeping Tom booing me.
 
I find it rather weird that you would need as many as 250 posts to get the right to an avatar. It rewards spamming oneliners, rather than actually thinking before you post. Been active on sherdog for close to a year now and still got quite a while to go untill I can get my darn 100*100 pixels.

/rant over

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
 
I find it rather weird that you would need as many as 250 posts to get the right to an avatar. It rewards spamming oneliners, rather than actually thinking before you post. Been active on sherdog for close to a year now and still got quite a while to go untill I can get my darn 100*100 pixels.

/rant over

You made it!!!

I like the avatar as well.
 
I remember the time that I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father.

He said he wanted more proof.
 
I get no respect. When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me. ... and no one showed up
 
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
 
I miss my wife's cooking -- as often as I can!
 
My wife said "What's on the tv?"
I said "dust"
 
What a childhood I had. My parents sent me to a child psychiatrist.

The fucking kid didn't help me at all.
 
After making love to this girl she started crying, I said "Are you going to hate yourself in the morning", she said "No, I hate myself now".
 
During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.
 
I was making love to my wife and she said "Deeper" so I whispered in her ear "Man is a rope stretched over the abyss..."
 
Some people ask the secret of my long marriage. My wife and I take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
 
My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
 
I went to the zoo the other day. They only had one animal- a single dog. It was a shitzu.
 
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