Help with bullying-need suggestions (la area)

[FeloniousMonk]

Ok, so I'll just get right into it...
I live with my nephews and I've finally convinced my sister
to get my eldest nephew into a martial arts because he has been
dealing with some older kids picking on him at school. Nothing
too serious yet, thankfully. Hasn't came home with bruises and
hasn't been in a situation where he's had to physically defend himself.
But I think it's vital for him to have the knowledge and skill of what
to do, God forbid a situation like that does arise.

So some background on him... He's 9, going on 10.
He has a lanky frame, long legs and is quite athletic from
years of playing baseball. Because of his background in
little league... he doesn't have much of a problem working
with others-but he does have a problem with respect and
discipline. He lacks the empathy that I'd like to see him
begin to form at this stage of his life.

I've considered a grappling martial art because of the merit
system and levels of belt achievements you have to work through.
Which I think would be good for his competitive nature.
Judo, particularly... but given his lanky frame, I figured he simply
may not have the right body type for it. And I want to play towards his
strengths. The one thing that did appeal to me the most about Judo
and Jiu Jitsu is that it's not simply about the reliance of your bodily
ability, and technique but also your ability to fight against another's bodily force and
in turn, the development and understanding of bodily mechanics.
Which I feel is important in any fight.

But again, given his length, especially his legs. I figured Tae Kwon Do
or Muay Thai would be the best option. So I'm wondering if anyone in
a similar situation with a child or who has had personal experience with
this sort of issue wants to help with some advice, given the things I've shared.
As well as any recommendations for good martial art establishments in the
LA area. I'd prefer it to be closer to the East side, but I'm obviously willing to
travel for the right place for my nephew. I'd prefer a place with a good history
in training children from an early age. As well as a healthy environment...
(Clean mats, good trainers, racial and gender integration)
I'm not looking to get him into a place that will put an emphasis on "fun."
At this point, he has enough fun at baseball and with his little brothers.
He needs a self reliant physical outlet. He needs to become more confident
with his body and his ability. And more than anything, he needs to learn self
control.

Thanks for any help everyone. And it's much appreciated.
I hope I posted this in the right section (I'm still pretty new to this site)
And I hope everyone is having a good Memorial Day. Thank you to those
who served.

 

[knuckleroll**]

Now I'm pissed at myself for not thawing out that chicken and bbq'ing it

 

[WhoopDatAss]

Rickson by armbar.

 

[Malik111]

First, make sure you find a serious gym. Not one of these that you can train 30 mins and the "master" shows you some movie ninja stunts that impress the students.

Second, at his age I would recomend wrestling or Bjj . Maybe later when he is like 12 -13 you can put him into Muay thai or full contact Karate.

Third, keep an eye on his developement, sometimes children who get bullied and then suddenly get some power, they tend to become bullies themself.

 

[FeloniousMonk]

Now I'm pissed at myself for not thawing out that chicken and bbq'ing it

Hey, dude who has nothing to contribute!
Wanna let me know if there would be any repercussions
if I posted this same thread in the UFC section?

 

[WeidmanPowerMMA]

Bullying video with 25mill views in 2 weeks

[YT]g3Rf5qDuq7M[/YT]

 

[FeloniousMonk]

First, make sure you find a serious gym. Not one of these that you can train 30 mins and the "master" shows you some movie ninja stunts that impress the students.

Second, at his age I would recomend wrestling or Bjj . Maybe later when he is like 12 -13 you can put him into Muay thai or full contact Karate.

Third, keep an eye on his developement, sometimes children who get bullied and then suddenly get some power, they tend to become bullies themself.

All good points. I was enrolled in Kempo Karate and I remember distinctly that the master didn't do shit but flashy shit for the higher level clients and mostly, would spend his days in his office spitting at the milfs that would come in.

I was thinking of wrestling, myself. But I'm afraid that he'd get discouraged too early because of his lack of physical strength. I feel like learning technique and the proper implementation of his bodily advantages in a dire situation is what's imperative in his development of confidence.

Last point, I whole heartedly agree on and have discussed with my sister. He already has a tendency to pick on his little brother, but truthfully, they go back and forth. Right now, he's still a healthy, polite kid. He's simply absent minded and tends to speak/act before he thinks. Most importantly, he's very cognisant and I have discussed it with
him myself. It all started when I asked him outright:

"Would you be interested in learning martial arts and how to defend yourself?"
And spoke to him about the importance of understanding that he won't be learning how
to fight- but how to control and defend himself. He seemed excited and enthused at both prospects.

 

[elzar]

i wouldn't say this or that body type doesn't fit with this or that MA. the point of martial arts is to learn how to use your body no matter the type in an effective way. the stereotype of the wrestler is usually some short fireplug stocky dude, but that doesn't mean tall, lanky people can't use what they have.

in other words, he should take a lesson here or there and decide to do judo, wrestling, karate, whatever.

wrestling's just a good option by middle school since it's offered at most schools--big savings there.

 

[FeloniousMonk]

i wouldn't say this or that body type doesn't fit with this or that MA. the point of martial arts is to learn how to use your body no matter the type in an effective way. the stereotype of the wrestler is usually some short fireplug stocky dude, but that doesn't mean tall, lanky people can't use what they have.

in other words, he should take a lesson here or there and decide to do judo, wrestling, karate, whatever.

wrestling's just a good option by middle school since it's offered at most schools--big savings there.

I agree. Perhaps I'm not putting enough faith in him and his ability to deal with defeat.
I also agree about the wrestling being more financially feasible. Hopefully he garners an interest in that. I think he's just fascinated with striking.

Thanks for your input, everyone, btw..

 

[Malik111]

Dont worrie about him beeing to weak He is at the best age for wrestling and it might take a little longer but he will get strong. I mean look at guys like mike chiesa he looks like a skinny long weak guy but he is strong like a monkey.
And with wrestling he also has something he can stick to even in high school and college.

In the end whats probably even more important is that he gets into a good environment for his training where he gets to know other people that encourage him and where his social skills can develope. So it can be any martial arts, But my personal opinion is - at his age he should start a grappling orientated sport. Striking either you start very young 3 -5 years or when you are old enough 12-14

 

[jeremyhi09]

any body type can be successful in any combat sport

 

[BiggSnipp Beats]

I wrestled when I was a kid. Even though I ended up being a good wrestler, It didn't really help with bullying. Wrestling really didn't give the confidence to fight back, because I still didn't know how to fight or defend myself.

 

[FeloniousMonk]

I wrestled when I was a kid. Even though I ended up being a good wrestler, It didn't really help with bullying. Wrestling really didn't give the confidence to fight back, because I still didn't know how to fight or defend myself.

Thank you for sharing-Definitely something to consider!

 

[FeloniousMonk]

Dont worrie about him beeing to weak He is at the best age for wrestling and it might take a little longer but he will get strong. I mean look at guys like mike chiesa he looks like a skinny long weak guy but he is strong like a monkey.
And with wrestling he also has something he can stick to even in high school and college.

In the end whats probably even more important is that he gets into a good environment for his training where he gets to know other people that encourage him and where his social skills can develope. So it can be any martial arts, But my personal opinion is - at his age he should start a grappling orientated sport. Striking either you start very young 3 -5 years or when you are old enough 12-14

I agree. There is nothing like learning how to control a body to help develop strength. But as someone else said, wrestling is less about actual fighting. It'd be good for his strength, but at this point- i think he needs to learn how to throw a proper punch and learn how to take a hit, himself.

 

[dipstickjimmy]

I put my son in Tae Kwon Do and it seems to be very good.

 

[Hawkman3111]

All good points. I was enrolled in Kempo Karate and I remember distinctly that the master didn't do shit but flashy shit for the higher level clients and mostly, would spend his days in his office spitting at the milfs that would come in.

I was thinking of wrestling, myself. But I'm afraid that he'd get discouraged too early because of his lack of physical strength. I feel like learning technique and the proper implementation of his bodily advantages in a dire situation is what's imperative in his development of confidence.

Last point, I whole heartedly agree on and have discussed with my sister. He already has a tendency to pick on his little brother, but truthfully, they go back and forth. Right now, he's still a healthy, polite kid. He's simply absent minded and tends to speak/act before he thinks. Most importantly, he's very cognisant and I have discussed it with
him myself. It all started when I asked him outright:

"Would you be interested in learning martial arts and how to defend yourself?"
And spoke to him about the importance of understanding that he won't be learning how
to fight- but how to control and defend himself. He seemed excited and enthused at both prospects.

He sounds like a typical kid, they are all different. Are you sure you are not seeing a problem where there isnt one? If anything it sounds to me like you may be babying him too much.

I tend to think this whole "bullying" issue is way overblown. Kids have been picking on other kids since Adam and Eve, right or wrong its just what happens.

I hope you dont take that as flaming or me being critical, Im not judging you or him.

One other random thing, I wouldnt try to sell him on the whole "its not whether you win or lose" mentality they are overselling in public education these days, he only gets one life and its definately better to be a winner. In fact now that I think of it the best thing you can do for ANY kid is to get him OUT of public education, nothing good happens in a public school and the quality of actual education is very poor.

 

[Malik111]

I agree. There is nothing like learning how to control a body to help develop strength. But as someone else said, wrestling is less about actual fighting. It'd be good for his strength, but at this point- i think he needs to learn how to throw a proper punch and learn how to take a hit, himself.

I really think this is the wrong approach, he is 9 years old soon 10. Learning how to punch someone so he wont get bullied ? If theses 12 -13 year old kids want to bully him, then he wont change that just by punching them, cause with 10 years and no previos striking experience, his punches wont have any effect, it will probably just cause him to get beat up for real, the moment he dares to punch one of them. Punching is something most bullys can do, but think of the reaction if he chokes one of them and they cannot get out of it, or if he puts one of them on his back and they are helpless like a fish out of the water.

If you want him to learn real fighting, then send him to a serious MMA gym, where he learns more than just punching.

( And about wrestling not beein about real fighting. I know some real wrestlers and they easily can hang with 2-3 guys at once in a street fight one of them even fought a draw against a street fight legend in my city

 

[FeloniousMonk]

He sounds like a typical kid, they are all different. Are you sure you are not seeing a problem where there isnt one? If anything it sounds to me like you may be babying him too much.

I tend to think this whole "bullying" issue is way overblown. Kids have been picking on other kids since Adam and Eve, right or wrong its just what happens.

I hope you dont take that as flaming or me being critical, Im not judging you or him.

One other random thing, I wouldnt try to sell him on the whole "its not whether you win or lose" mentality they are overselling in public education these days, he only gets one life and its definately better to be a winner. In fact now that I think of it the best thing you can do for ANY kid is to get him OUT of public education, nothing good happens in a public school and the quality of actual education is very poor.

I don't think there is a "problem" just yet. But I don't want there to be one. The potential problem I see-and the one I'm trying to prevent- is if he is forced into an altercation and doesn't have the knowledge of how to properly defend himself.

And I agree about bullying being an inevitable part of childhood, also that I may be babying him a bit-in the sense that I'm not viewing him as a strong character already. Because, truthfully, he is. He's strong in his own right. He's very defensive of his brothers, very considerate and helpful and incredibly personable for his age. I just want him to build confidence and learn self control.

The title may make it seem overblown-but admittedly, I was just trying to hook viewers and potential advice.

I suppose I should have mentioned that he isn't growing up with a father. So that's where my hopes for the development of his self control and discipline comes from. There is only so much I can do in the way of teaching him to be a man. I think we're both on the right path, but at this point-I want him to be self reliant in at least one aspect of his life. Hope that helps illuminate somethings.

I agree about public education. But money doesn't come easy for us. Which is why I'm going to great lengths to make sure I cover all bases in order to find a place for him to train that is most optimum. Private school is crazy expensive.

 

[FeloniousMonk]

I really think this is the wrong approach, he is 9 years old soon 10. Learning how to punch someone so he wont get bullied ? If theses 12 -13 year old kids want to bully him, then he wont change that just by punching them, cause with 10 years and no previos striking experience, his punches wont have any effect, it will probably just cause him to get beat up for real, the moment he dares to punch one of them. Punching is something most bullys can do, but think of the reaction if he chokes one of them and they cannot get out of it, or if he puts one of them on his back and they are helpless like a fish out of the water.

If you want him to learn real fighting, then send him to a serious MMA gym, where he learns more than just punching.

( And about wrestling not beein about real fighting. I know some real wrestlers and they easily can hang with 2-3 guys at once in a street fight one of them even fought a draw against a street fight legend in my city

He isn't the type to "dare" to punch someone-or one to look for fights.
I could tell he has good intentions with this and simply wants to learn self defense.
I hope I didn't make it seem like the focus of this thread is to build my nephew into
a fighter. I simply want him to build confidence, self control, and a knowledge of how
to defend himself or his brothers in an instance when his hand is forced.