HELP - Obnoxious or Unreasonable Requests or Favors by Friends and How to Say No

[phoenixikki]

Dude, from where I come being friends with somebody for over than 20 years actually mean something. If he was my friend I would've have helped him, they will be staying only for 2 days, not a month. But hey, that's me.

 

[KrazyKanadian]

I'd love it if five of my friends came over for the weekend. Kids, buddies, and dogs. Its a weekend. Sounds like TS's only reluctance is how the misuses is going to react. Which is fair tbh its her house too.

To be honest, I would have no problems if I met a buddy for 2 days traveling, and he stays at my place. Wouldn't even care if he/she brought friends I didn't know, so maybe my take isn't the best on this.

But it's a friend of 20 years...and some guys off his team. You can spare a place for the weekend IMO.

Or at least if you're not going to let him, don't beat around the bush and tell him the honest reason for it.

 

[Merlotte's]

To be honest, I would have no problems if I met a buddy for 2 days traveling, and he stays at my place. Wouldn't even care if he/she brought friends I didn't know, so maybe my take isn't the best on this.

But it's a friend of 20 years...and some guys off his team. You can spare a place for the weekend IMO.

Or at least if you're not going to let him, don't beat around the bush and tell him the honest reason for it.

Yeah he's got to be up front considering if this falls through for the buddy finding another place to crash for a party that size is going to be tough.

My place was once a revolving door it, pissed off my old lady lol. She's not around no more but neither are all those buddies. Now I live in the states and trust no one.

 

[MortalWombat]

Dude, from where I come being friends with somebody for over than 20 years actually mean something. If he was my friend I would've have helped him, they will be staying only for 2 days, not a month. But hey, that's me.

Yeah, it means something, that you'll be there when they need you. Like, taking a bullet or giving a kidney, that sort of thing, if you're dramatically inclined like that with the "meaning something" thing. Totally discretionary recreational trip with two buddies and a hund while you've got a preggers wife isn't exactly "need".

 

[Thai Otoshi]

Tell him (provided wife is in accord) that the three of them are welcome any time, but the friends and the dog have to fend for themselves.

Boom.

A longtime friend can stay with me, no issue.

A longtime friend + wife can stay, and we can make it a swingers party.

A longtime friend + wife + baby + dog + two random friends of a friend you never met? Bit much.

 

[cmw43]

Tell the friends to get a hotel.

No dog, but the couple and baby can stay. Those terms are reasonable.

 

[michal001]

You should choose what you feel is reasonable. Anybody mocking you or criticizing you or chastising you is applying their current standard to you without having to accept the consequences is being unreasonable and in some cases a douche. I wouldnt let the two buddies or dog stay at my house. They can find a motel. With four people that's 25 bucks a day at a motel.

 

[hitcher]

What's with all the suggestions to lie to your best friends? Not sure how you guys handle stuff, but it's sounds like lying is your go to move. Lying is usually one of the worst solutions (at least long term) in my experience. Straight up tell him what you think. It might be a normal situation to him letting strangers in his house, but it seems like it is not to you.

 

[The Clinch]

Reach deep up into your body and pull your balls out.

Then say "no".

Why are people so fucking afraid of that word these days?

 

[bonghead420]

Nah thats fair enough. I dunno why you're asking how to say no though, surely thats a request you can just Schaub?

 

[Thai Otoshi]

Reach deep up into your body and pull your balls out.

 

[BearGrounds]

I don't disagree with those saying the friends can get a hotel. They can.

But you can also just say "fuck it", let it happen this once, and make sure you clear things up with your friend about how things will play out in the future. Express to him, at some point during the weekend, that his request was a bit excessive. Be friendly about it, and he'll likely feel like he owes you something (more than he already does) for your consideration.

It's only a weekend. If it does indeed turn out to be an annoyance, it'll be over quick.

 

[BEER]

I'd let the friend and his family stay. His friends would have to find somewhere else though.

 

[Loiosh]

Kamloops

I was in Kamloops for sixty seconds once.

Took a train from Vancouver to Lillooet with a buddy.
Met his sister, hopped in her pickup, drove to Kamloops.
Picked up their brother, drove back to Lillooet.

Long freaking day.

 

[RR]

I'd have no problem with a close friend, his wife and their kid staying for a weekend. No big deal there imo but fuck bringing the other two cans and their dog.

 

[Eyepokesftw]

He probably knows you post on Sherdog and already knows your feelings.

 

[The_Renaissance]

I'd have no qualms telling your buddy that he and his bird are welcome but you don't know his friends and that's a bit much.

 

[minute bull]

How many bathrooms you got, TS?

And did you say PAINTBALL?

 

[Basil**]

A lot of responses saying I should just say yes and that it could be fun. Those of you who are saying that I'm guessing haven't spent much time around newborns. I'm guessing they're not married either so they don't understand the dynamic involved here of what's reasonable to request of a wife.

 

[Frylock]

if your friend asks if they can crash at your place, that's a friend asking a favor

if your friend asks you if strangers can come crash at your place, that's a someone being a pos.

It's wrong of them to ask in the first place. What they do is mention how unfortunate it is that the friends have no place to stay. It is then your decision if you want to be like "oh they can crash here with you" or "oh yes that is too bad".

When people ask for unreasonable things they make you look bad for saying no but they are bad for asking.