Having kids...

[TeTe]

Having children is not for everybody. TS is a clear example.

Truth. It's not for me either. I was open to, but never really bent on having kids in my 20s and early 30s. Now that I'm 40 I really have no desire to have them. Chasing around little kids in my mid 40s sounds terrible. I've just grown too accustomed to living an easy life at this point. My soon to be wife is about to turn 40 and at least has the same feeling I do about it.

That being said, I know for a fact that kids do bring joy to people's lives contrary to what TS says. Everyone I know that has had kids says that they are wonderful in many ways. But, there is a tradeoff in life when taking that step, a tradeoff that isn't worth it for some people like me. I'll never knock anyone's decision to have kids, I realize how fulfilling it is for some. I'd never ask anyone to change my mind or try to change anyone else's.

 

[djacobox372]

A good life =/= an easy life

 

[SalvadorAllende]

Truth. It's not for me either. I was open to, but never really bent on having kids in my 20s and early 30s. Now that I'm 40 I really have no desire to have them. Chasing around little kids in my mid 40s sounds terrible. I've just grown too accustomed to living an easy life at this point. My soon to be wife is about to turn 40 and at least has the same feeling I do about it.

That being said, I know for a fact that kids do bring joy to people's lives contrary to what TS says. Everyone I know that has had kids says that they are wonderful in many ways. But, there is a tradeoff in life when taking that step, a tradeoff that isn't worth it for some people like me. I'll never knock anyone's decision to have kids, I realize how fulfilling it is for some. I'd never ask anyone to change my mind or try to change anyone else's.

I'm 32 and I don't know if it is for me either.

On one side people say that the moment your child is born is the most amazing experience in life.

I see around me people that really enjoy having children, and people that if they could go back in time they would not have any.

I don't think that is for everybody like it used to and there is less and less social pressure to have children (thanks god!).
Also the world could use a little less humans tbh.

 

[Devout Pessimist]

I took the training wheels off of my daughters bike Saturday and she probably went 75 yds first try. Then Sunday my 3.5 month old son tried baby food for the time and I got to see his face light up

I’m about to turn 40 and they’re the only things that give me absolute happiness at this point in life. We’ve got a few friends that say they don’t want kids, I hope their next few years are worth it because I’ve never met someone close to the end of their life that never had kids and didn’t sound like they regretted it once it was too late

I know quite a few people in their 50's who really regret not having a family. They were fine living for themselves when they were younger, but things changed as they got older and they wish they would have made some sacrifices so they could have been less lonely in their older years.

 

[TeTe]

I don't think that is for everybody like it used to and there is less and less social pressure to have children (thanks god!).
Also the world could use a little less humans tbh.

Agree. It's a tough world to bring up kids in. It's not the 1950s anymore. Not to mention some people cannot physically have children.. probably more than most people know. Sure, there's adoption, but some people don't start trying to have kids until their older and then find out they can't.

 

[TeTe]

I know quite a few people in their 50's who really regret not having a family. They were fine living for themselves when they were younger, but things changed as they got older and they wish they would have made some sacrifices so they could have been less lonely in their older years.

It seems odd to me though because most people in their 50s that have kids have already seen them leave the house. And when they move on and have families of their own, they become more and more distant. It's really at that point where you need to maintain friendships with other people your age whether you've had kids or not. I'm guessing that those people you talk about probably aren't in a relationship with someone either.

 

[lakamas]

Dude if you have enough money you can have as many kids as you want, take for example the Arab guys who are 70 married to 5 20 year olds and have 20 children.

 

[SalvadorAllende]

 

[Mcountry]

I'm 32 and I don't know if it is for me either.

On one side people say that the moment your child is born is the most amazing experience in life.

I see around me people that really enjoy having children, and people that if they could go back in time they would not have any.

I don't think that is for everybody like it used to and there is less and less social pressure to have children (thanks god!).
Also the world could use a little less humans tbh.

To this point. I was 38 when we had or first and I didn't want kids. My wife really wanted kids and I love my wife so I agreed.

I was positive it would be an annoying experience...too much of a time commitment. Too much money. Everything.

But when people say "I've never loved anything like I do my child" it sounds so cliche, so fairy tale. But it's true. My little guy won me over. And now as I've said, he is the greatest gift daily. I could not imagine my life now without him in it. And the joy he brings me.

People grow up selfish, and single and think a pet cat will fill that biological urge to reproduce.

It won't.

I feel bad because for them, their outlook is to grow old and die alone. Leaving nothing behind.

 

[SalvadorAllende]

To this point. I was 38 when we had or first and I didn't want kids. My wife really wanted kids and I love my wife so I agreed.

I was positive it would be an annoying experience...too much of a time commitment. Too much money. Everything.

But when people say "I've never loved anything like I do my child" it sounds so cliche, so fairy tale. But it's true. My little guy won me over. And now as I've said, he is the greatest gift daily. I could not imagine my life now without him in it. And the joy he brings me.

People grow up selfish, and single and think a pet cat will fill that biological urge to reproduce.

It won't.

I feel bad because for them, their outlook is to grow old and die alone. Leaving nothing behind.

I think that your experience as a father has a lot to do with yourself being in a good place in life and that makes you able to love and enjoy your child.
That is the way that I would like to have a children.

On the other hand there are a lot of people that treat their kids like garbage and are very abusive with them. I don't think that people should have children in the first place.

I sustain what I've said. Having children is not for everybody even if we as society love to do generalizations all the time.

 

[Alphafail]

The world would be a better place if more people like TS thought the same.

Don't ever change your mind, TS.

 

[OverCoronavirus Pressure]

Sounds like someone's daughter had may have explored her daddy issues in high school.

... what?

 

[Mcountry]

I think that your experience as a father has a lot to do with yourself being in a good place in life and that makes you able to love and enjoy your child.
That is the way that I would like to have a children.

On the other hand there are a lot of people that treat their kids like garbage and are very abusive with them. I don't think that people should have children in the first place.

I sustain what I've said. Having children is not for everybody even if we as society love to do generalizations all the time.

What I'm saying is that removing the financial situation out of the equation and just focusing on personal opinion. Coming from a person who never wanted kids and was always annoyed when my friends who had kids told me how amazing it was...that from experience...I can say that I was wrong. It is amazing.

Now some people shouldn't have kids and having kids at the right point of your life is important. But just because you 'think' you don't want kids doesn't necessarily mean that's how you'd feel if you ever had kids.

I guess I lucked out.

 

[Mcountry]

Dude if you have enough money you can have as many kids as you want, take for example the Arab guys who are 70 married to 5 20 year olds and have 20 children.

All means shit because that arab fucker isn't raising them. To raise and teach a child takes care and attention and nurturing.

One dude cannot properly raise that many kids. Someone else is raising them on his dime with their values and beliefs. They will likely call someone else "dad". Which basically makes that arab a glorified sperm donor.

 

[SalvadorAllende]

But just because you 'think' you don't want kids doesn't necessarily mean that's how you'd feel if you ever had kids.

For sure. And this happens not only with kids but with a lot of things in life.
We should always try to keep an open mind.

 

[Cole train]

 

[koolinkunming]

is overrated and in general drastically lowers your quality of life. Anyone who argues against this is deluded. Between the sleep deprivation, additional cost of living including insane daycare prices, and dealing with tantrums several times a day, missing obligations because no sitter, etc; children in no way bring joy to one’s life.

Change. My. Mind.

You’re right except for the last sentence in that paragraph. Yes I feel like a zombie getting woken up 3 times a night by a crying 8 week old, but when I’m holding her and she nuzzles her head against my chest or smiles at me, it’s a hell of a feeling that I wouldn’t trade for anything.

 

[lakamas]

All means shit because that arab fucker isn't raising them. To raise and teach a child takes care and attention and nurturing.

One dude cannot properly raise that many kids. Someone else is raising them on his dime with their values and beliefs. They will likely call someone else "dad". Which basically makes that arab a glorified sperm donor.

every rich mofo has a sitter so what you say makes every rich mofo a sperm donor

 

[lakamas]

These feelings and all the parental stuff is built into your genetic material, otherwise we wouldn't be here as a species.

 

[lakamas]

If you skip the early ages by using a babysitter you save 50% of the work or more. You are still the parent and most kids don't remember anything for the first 5 years anyway, then you have 3 years of
involvement and another 8 years or full time parenting which isn't so bad.