Got the "lets be friends" talk (pretty long)

[Calibur]

I really don't have any desire to be her "friend", I'll probably just talk to her casually, but not like before.

The fact that you missed my point so cleanly makes me wonder what other points you missed from her. Lol

 

[MoparOrNoCar]

For a guy who comes across as a bit of a newfound playa, you sure don't act like a playa. I hate using the word beta but the things you say in your original post sound pretty beta and she obviously picked up on that and even told you to chill. It's disappointing when someone randomly just stops showing interest but it happens to all of us and we all do it to others as well. Just need to move on at that point. You aren't going to recapture her attention at that point. Especially if you're after something more serious than just a hookup.

One of two things happened. She found some other guy she deems better than you or you did or said something that dropped you on the scale that's in her head.

Anyone who is single and has no kids, yet is too "busy" is bullshitting you.

 

[the muntjac]

When she saw how many dudes there were at this school, she realized how much D she can get, so she didn't want to be tied down to just one.

Move on.

 

[Banchan]

Might of been a poor choice of a word it's more than just options; they want the superior man.

But to loosely quote our fellow poster @Banchan most women would rather be in the harem of an elite man than be the only lover of an average man.

Your definition of average man though is more like below average to this girl . n.n

 

[Kiyashin]

Even if its not true, pretend that you have an interest in a few girls already on the go. Lots of benefits to this.
1. When one girl drops you, it just means that you're now clear on where you stand and can concentrate on other ones.
2. This sort of aloofness does attract women. When they drop you and you are actually happy about it (due to #1) makes them confused. If anything its a good one uppance as it breaks an idea that you actually are into her.
3. Women hate when men get too into them. The greatest game in my opinion is the one where you say all the right things ie romance, love, etc but she has a sense that you really don't mean it.

But seriously. If you really just want a relationship then don't waste your time! A good relationship should be easy (in my opinion) because of mutual understanding and compatibility. She did you a favor by turning you down.

 

[SMillard]

she most likely met another guy and wants you on the back burner. Or you took too long to close the deal and you've been friendzoned. A third reason; she slept with another guy and wants a cooling off period before she re-engages with you to either find out if it's going to work with the other guy, or because she wants to justify to herself that she's a "good person, and not a slut".

The "I'm too busy for a relationship" line is always such bullshit, if they were really too busy than they wouldn't have gone through the initial part in the first place.

Move on. You'll find some other woman to drain the life and money out of you.

 

[SMillard]

I don't get why people always over analyze these type of things and assume she's making up some bullshit excuse. She may be telling the truth. She has her own life to live and own decisions to make so she's not obliged to react in a way that you want. Finding out her reasons or whether or not she was telling the truth is in fact, irrelevant. Just focus on what you want, and what's happening in front of you. Move on and meet other chicks.

I don't take that kind of stuff personally so I would just meet more chicks and keep talking to her. If you really wanted to have a relationship with her, I assume you liked her as a person, then why not keep her as a friend. Its obvious she likes you as a person as well. But obviously she didn't find you as romantically interesting as you hoped. Oh well, shit happens, and there are tons of other women out there. Who knows, she could be an amazing friend who later hooks you up with her friends.

the reason why people "over analyze" is because things are rarely at face value. No one wants to be "the bad guy", so the make excuses justify their actions and "reasons" to give themselves an out. The very notion of "i want to be friends" is one of them, women tell men this so that they can leave with a clear conscience. If the guy says "yeah, alright" she can leave with the feeling that "I'm a good person, now I can never see this guy again but feel good about the fact we are "friends"", if he says "no, I want more than friends" than he's a selfish jerk and the break up was justifiable.

 

[FightsFTW]

For a guy who comes across as a bit of a newfound playa, you sure don't act like a playa. I hate using the word beta but the things you say in your original post sound pretty beta and she obviously picked up on that and even told you to chill. It's disappointing when someone randomly just stops showing interest but it happens to all of us and we all do it to others as well. Just need to move on at that point. You aren't going to recapture her attention at that point. Especially if you're after something more serious than just a hookup.

One of two things happened. She found some other guy she deems better than you or you did or said something that dropped you on the scale that's in her head.

Anyone who is single and has no kids, yet is too "busy" is bullshitting you.

Never said I was a playa, I've said many times im new and still learning the game, that's why I ask for thoughts and opinions. I seem to have the ability to get a girl interested, but lack the ability to keep her hooked for long. That's what I need to work on.

 

[DatGuyFTW]

My girl is in grad school and we hang out and bang almost every night.

She's just not that into you bro.

 

[RhinoRush]

Man your lack of game is really pretty worrying.

I'll give you one piece of advice I wish someone had given me when I was young: If a girl likes you, she'll at least blow you on the first date. That's how they show you they really like you. Every girl I've had a lasting relationship with, I at least got a blowie on the first date. Sexual attraction trumps everything else when it comes to women. It doesn't matter if you're a total piece of shit, if she's sexually attracted to you, she'll break you off a piece ASAP.

I wasted so much time when I was younger with girls who let me have a 'good night kiss' or makeout or whatever. But the truth is, THOSE girls are the bad ones. They like playing with guys' emotions and stringing them along. And then one day when they get cold, that means they met a guy they were actually attracted to last night, blew him, and now don't need the validation of your attention anymore. She picked a guy, and it wasn't you.

I know that sounds awful, but I've had a 6 year relationship that started with a first night fuck, and I'm in a 18 months relationship right now that started with a first night fuck. In truth every girl I've had a 6 month+ relationship with, I hit it EARLY. It doesn't mean they're sluts, it means they're ACTUALLY attracted to you.

Women like sex, possibly even more than men. If they are sexually attracted to you (which is vital for a successful relationship) they will let you know on the first night.

TL;DR you missed the first date window and were immediately relegated to the friend zone whether you were savvy enough to recognize it or not.

 

[NHB7]

Unfortunately for you TS, one of the hardest things on the planet is to pin an attractive woman into a relationship when she is ABOUT TO START COLLEGE.

I think it's probably hard for men to grasp. But if you are an attractive woman starting college, well, it's probably the closest you will ever feel to being a celebrity. Guys will be throwing themselves at her, sororities will be begging her to join, everyone wants her at the party, hell even a few male teachers will probably flirt with her.

Side note: I kid you not, I knew an attractive girl in college that would not accept anything lower than an A from a male teacher.

I was walking with her across campus one day and she had recently gotten a "C." She says, "I need to stop here" and we go to her professors office. Her debate for why she deserved an A was soooo lame. It was like, "Well I just didn't understand the assignment" ; "I was really tired that day" ; "I feel like it's good writing for me." But her voice went from normal convo voice with me to Cutesy sexy voice with Professor. Now I'm standing just out of sight of the office and here him say, "I really shouldn't be doing this." He changed it!!! To an A.

Now she didn't see anything wrong with this I should add. She was oblivious to the fact that she has flirted her way to an A and was certain she had gotten the A because she deserved it. And was certain that if I had gone in and had the same convo I would have gotten the same grade changes sheesh.

Back on point: A lot of relationships end for this reason right before college or right after college starts. Really, I can't blame her. It would be hard to be tied down if everyone wanted you and you could pick and choose as you pleased.

 

[IIIIIIII]

the threadstarter showed too much interest and gave all his power away to this woman he's speaking about. part of being attractive to a woman is being aloof and not giving a shit to a certain extent. women get bored when they know a guy is really into them. going often to see her was a big mistake. move on from this woman. it's over.

 

[IloveTHIS]

Ok so after pondering the situation and taking comments into consideration, next time I see her I'm gonna talk to her and clear shit up, apologize and whatnot, then just distance myself from her. Keep it casual when I do see her, we both goofed and I'm gonna move on, live and learn.

you want to apologize lmao..you just cant help yourself

 

[MoparOrNoCar]

Never said I was a playa, I've said many times im new and still learning the game, that's why I ask for thoughts and opinions. I seem to have the ability to get a girl interested, but lack the ability to keep her hooked for long. That's what I need to work on.

I know you didn't say you were a playa but you had a humblebrag thread that basically said I'm transforming into a playa. Don't worry it's not an insult and I'm just half kidding anyway.

I think you lack the ability to keep them hooked because you're coming across as a beta. Initially when you meet them you're like what up, I'm FightsFTW and I'm here to swoon you. I bet you come across pretty confident. Then later on if she doesn't text you back quick enough or something, you start to obsess over it and eventually you send back a text or a comment to get your answer and satisfy your need to know why she's being distant and it comes across as needy and beta.

You need to keep that confidence the entire time. Don't let your confidence falter because you feel the urge to get an immediate answer as to why she's making you feel bad. She's out living her life the way she wants to live it and you're dangling at the end of her hook waiting to see if she's going to reel you in. That's no way to live man. Live your life confidentially and strong and the ladies will follow. Don't follow them.

 

[Iscariott]

You say you are new to this, well I'm old and want to help. Stop being a bitch, stop thinking like a bitch, stop posting like a bitch. Who cares if some girl you sorta almost dated told you no thanks. We don't care and the lesson here is neither should you.

If you wanted to be more and she wants to be friends lose her number and move on.

 

[hughesfan20]

Dude you met her on the 1st of August. Granted maybe you were really into her but it didn't last 2 weeks. If you're this bothered by it I would advice seeking help from a psychologist to get your head on straight.

 

[Striderxdj]

Id bet money that she met someone else and is spending all that time with them, and doesnt want to hurt your feelings by being honest.

 

[2DUM2TAP]

Get her drunk bro

 

[NelmarksGhost]

Too much to read. Did she give you an ipad?

 

[Harmonica]

If a girl likes you, she'll at least blow you on the first date..

Lol, no. It just means you're both unable to control your impulses. Not everyone treats sex as a joke.