Girls you knew
- Thread starter OverCoronavirus Pressure
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Had a thing for Janeane Garofalo for the entirety of the 1990’s. So much so that I would chase around short girls who had glasses and jet black hair, even ones who were slightly maligned. For some reason they never trusted me and I’d have to settle for tall beautiful boring women. Still to this day I’ve got a leggy dial tone sitting beside me on the couch waiting to see if I can come up with new ways to disappoint her.
This was a fun thread. Worthy of a bump.
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Stolen but gold.
I had a date about a decade ago that went oddly. I got this girl's number at a show I played and we chatted online a bit. Decided to go out, because she was really cute and it seemed like we had a lot in common. The day of our date, I'm fiending for some buffalo wings, so me and my roomie had some hot wings for lunch. Later, I picked up my date and headed to a party in the woods. The date was going really well, and we started drinking when we got to the party. We're hitting it off, when some chick walks in and catches my eye. She was like 6'0 tall and was all emo with her faux hawk. She was gorgeous.
I'm chatting with my date and the guy who is hosting the party, and she sits down next to him. Apparently they're good friends so she jumps right into the conversation. It was like a whirlwind... we had everything in common and the chemistry was perfect. We're flirting back and forth and the people around us didn't matter at all. It was amazing. Until the stomach cramps kicked in. The hot wings started moving in my stomach and I had been drinking a lot, so I knew I had to take care of this situation. I excuse myself to the emo chick, totally ignoring my date. I go to the bathroom, shut the door, and unbuckle my belt... when all of a sudden the emo chick busts in the bathroom, slams the door shut, and just grabs me. We start making out, hands are flying, her pants hit the floor, my pants hit the floor, she grabs my junk, and all of a sudden, I remembered why I was in the bathroom in the first place.
I was a little drunk and my 18 year old self panicked. My pants were at my ankles, and I understood the inevitability of the situation. I told her to hold on, then proceeded to sit down on the toilet and take one of the biggest shits of my life. I remember the shear look of horror in her eyes as this seemingly endless destruction poured forth from my b-hole. Our eyes stayed locked, as if we were sharing some sort of tragically significant moment together. When I finally finished, I just kind of half-smiled at her... exhausted and spent. She told me she had to go, and rushed to get herself composed, dressed, and out the door. She just left. I stood up, and before I could buckle my belt, my date came in and just mauled me. We banged right there, with the unflushed toilet and the smell of a thousand rotting carcasses wafting in the air.
I never saw the tall emo girl again. And nobody had ever heard from her since... but I learned a valuable lesson about bathroom door locks, that day.
I had a date about a decade ago that went oddly. I got this girl's number at a show I played and we chatted online a bit. Decided to go out, because she was really cute and it seemed like we had a lot in common. The day of our date, I'm fiending for some buffalo wings, so me and my roomie had some hot wings for lunch. Later, I picked up my date and headed to a party in the woods. The date was going really well, and we started drinking when we got to the party. We're hitting it off, when some chick walks in and catches my eye. She was like 6'0 tall and was all emo with her faux hawk. She was gorgeous.
I'm chatting with my date and the guy who is hosting the party, and she sits down next to him. Apparently they're good friends so she jumps right into the conversation. It was like a whirlwind... we had everything in common and the chemistry was perfect. We're flirting back and forth and the people around us didn't matter at all. It was amazing. Until the stomach cramps kicked in. The hot wings started moving in my stomach and I had been drinking a lot, so I knew I had to take care of this situation. I excuse myself to the emo chick, totally ignoring my date. I go to the bathroom, shut the door, and unbuckle my belt... when all of a sudden the emo chick busts in the bathroom, slams the door shut, and just grabs me. We start making out, hands are flying, her pants hit the floor, my pants hit the floor, she grabs my junk, and all of a sudden, I remembered why I was in the bathroom in the first place.
I was a little drunk and my 18 year old self panicked. My pants were at my ankles, and I understood the inevitability of the situation. I told her to hold on, then proceeded to sit down on the toilet and take one of the biggest shits of my life. I remember the shear look of horror in her eyes as this seemingly endless destruction poured forth from my b-hole. Our eyes stayed locked, as if we were sharing some sort of tragically significant moment together. When I finally finished, I just kind of half-smiled at her... exhausted and spent. She told me she had to go, and rushed to get herself composed, dressed, and out the door. She just left. I stood up, and before I could buckle my belt, my date came in and just mauled me. We banged right there, with the unflushed toilet and the smell of a thousand rotting carcasses wafting in the air.
I never saw the tall emo girl again. And nobody had ever heard from her since... but I learned a valuable lesson about bathroom door locks, that day.
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Garofolo wasn't my thing.
For whatever two reasons, I liked that teenager Jerry Seinfeld was dating back in the day, Shoshanna Lonstein.
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It sounds like you got some of that gefilta (sp) fish.
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In highschool there was this girl me and all my friends wanted to hit but she was into fucking older dudes. Thinking back shit was illegal as hell but we were all doing drugs pretty much all the time and no one really cared. Eventually I'm positive I could have fucked her she had made jokes one time about missing the chance of seeing my dick when I was pissing outside. She also started hanging out at my house instead of driving around with my best friend which she always did. Never made a move though even when we were both on my bed watching movies I was such a pussy back then.
Now she has three kids, three different dads, lives with her mom, (just had another one and the dude was gone before it was even born) and constantly post on FB about finding love. There is nothing more depressing than someone who is constantly looking for someone to fall in love with instead of just living your best life. If you're basing your happiness off finding some sort of true love you're doomed for failure those kind of people never make it in life.
Now she has three kids, three different dads, lives with her mom, (just had another one and the dude was gone before it was even born) and constantly post on FB about finding love. There is nothing more depressing than someone who is constantly looking for someone to fall in love with instead of just living your best life. If you're basing your happiness off finding some sort of true love you're doomed for failure those kind of people never make it in life.
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We so hohny, hohny. Fie dolla, luh you long time.
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I reconnected with this chick from high school. Totally dig her was texting her every night, both of us mutually back and forth. Hung out in person. Made out. Went the next night had drinks made out. Texted for awhile...then on her day off yesterday I barely received any texts.
Said she was busy with stuff for work.
Ghosting inbound?
Said she was busy with stuff for work.
Ghosting inbound?
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This thread reminds me of a girl in high school that everybody wanted and she knew it. I asked her out once and she just laughed. At the 5 year high school reunion, I found out that she was in prison for dealing drugs.
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Alright, gonna give you an autobiographical chapter here:
Sophomore Blowjob Revenge:
This story was 5 years in the making.
When I was in 7th grade I had my first crush on a girl. She was an early bloomer, glorious in every way, and keenly aware of it. While I was still a prepubescent gelatinous mass of Dungeons and Dragons dork. Compounding matters, our school was grades 7-12. So I was competing for her affection with actual men.
In hindsight, I may have been a little stalkey. But she was outraged at even the thought of me presenting myself to her as an option. She was extremely scornful, even after I got the message and gave her a wider berth. This manifested outside the school as well, as they lived a block over. My little brother and her little sister played together, and both bore witness to her vitriol.
Finally I avoided her altogether. Which became easier after they got sent to a private Catholic school. There was a lot of disharmony in their family. Tales of the yelling, screaming, and even straight up fights between the 2 sisters made their way to us. But the one constant in all this was every time I saw this girl, she gave me a look so evil it bordered on the demonic.
The summer between my junior and senior year tragedy struck their family. The father, who by all accounts was the lone stabilizing and calming force in a family of bat-shit crazy women, died in a car accident. This clearly effected their family finances, because both girls transferred to the public HS I was at. The younger sister, now a sophomore, had grown up just as beautiful. And she was considerably less evil, at least to those not her older sister.
Having been chained up in a Catholic school and then hit with tragedy, it's not surprising that both girls ended up going off the rails a little. Though she clearly still hated me, the older sister was now forced to give me a swerve as she was on my turf. I would occasionally see them out at parties, etc, and we just kind of avoided each other. Though I did bond as casual friends with the younger sister, having the shared experience of the elder sisters torment.
Unbeknownst to her, the older sister started dating a guy I had been friends with for years. I was able to finally get some insight into the source of the sisters conflict. Apparently some time back at the Catholic school, the younger sister had a crush on a guy. And the older sister, with full knowledge of her younger sisters affections, ended up hooking up with him anyway.
Eventually my friend dumped the older sister. She did not take it well and was actively trying to get him back. One Friday night, I was at a kegger and had hopped to the backyard to get some air. I heard a little commotion back where the air conditioning unit had been fenced off. I went in to investigate further.
There, on her knees, was the little sister, blowing my friend who had just dumped her big sister. I was not as stealthy as I should have been, and they both ended up noticing me. I just smiled, took a step back and said, 'Don't worry, your secret is safe with me." The littler sister gave me a sinister grin and said, 'Oh don't worry, it won't be a secret for long."
Given that he had full knowledge of the backstory, my friend should have seen the folly of it all. But I guess the prospect of having 2 sisters on your resume at such a young age causes one to override certain warning signals. The smug look of satisfaction on his face quickly switched to deep concern, as he realized he was but a pawn in a much larger game. The concern gave way to genuine fear as he contemplated the magnitude of what was about to unfold. I went back into the house to find a front row seat for the imminent carnage.
Upon finishing her work, little sister skipped into the house much as a child would. My friend seemed to be running full out to catch and stop her, but somehow seemed to actually lose ground. She sauntered up to her sister to share her new secret, then glided out of the house as if she had a Nobel prize to collect.
I was just a few feet away from big sister when she heard the words. A moment or 2 passed as she fully processed it. Then the rage hit and she saw my friend. Right as she started in for him, we made eye contact, and she saw the shit eating grin on my face. At that exact moment, she knew that I knew. And with that, her journey to the dark side was complete.
The yelling, screaming and crying that ensued after is the stuff of legend. Just Glorious. I don't know what happened on the Saturday and Sunday. But by Monday both sisters looked physically and emotionally drained. Neither were really the same after that.
The older sister has been divorced twice and is a struggling real estate agent now, still in the area. She has put on 100 lbs, and looks horrendous. Twisted and bitter. It would be impossible for anyone to believe she had been beautiful for a single day of her life. The younger sister got an accounting degree and became a pretty decent CPA, before chucking it all and going back to school to become an acupuncturist. Lives in Colorado and been married for 20 years. She had 2 daughters. 2 years apart. Both beautiful and now a Freshman and Jr in college. Wonder how their HS years were?
Sophomore Blowjob Revenge:
This story was 5 years in the making.
When I was in 7th grade I had my first crush on a girl. She was an early bloomer, glorious in every way, and keenly aware of it. While I was still a prepubescent gelatinous mass of Dungeons and Dragons dork. Compounding matters, our school was grades 7-12. So I was competing for her affection with actual men.
In hindsight, I may have been a little stalkey. But she was outraged at even the thought of me presenting myself to her as an option. She was extremely scornful, even after I got the message and gave her a wider berth. This manifested outside the school as well, as they lived a block over. My little brother and her little sister played together, and both bore witness to her vitriol.
Finally I avoided her altogether. Which became easier after they got sent to a private Catholic school. There was a lot of disharmony in their family. Tales of the yelling, screaming, and even straight up fights between the 2 sisters made their way to us. But the one constant in all this was every time I saw this girl, she gave me a look so evil it bordered on the demonic.
The summer between my junior and senior year tragedy struck their family. The father, who by all accounts was the lone stabilizing and calming force in a family of bat-shit crazy women, died in a car accident. This clearly effected their family finances, because both girls transferred to the public HS I was at. The younger sister, now a sophomore, had grown up just as beautiful. And she was considerably less evil, at least to those not her older sister.
Having been chained up in a Catholic school and then hit with tragedy, it's not surprising that both girls ended up going off the rails a little. Though she clearly still hated me, the older sister was now forced to give me a swerve as she was on my turf. I would occasionally see them out at parties, etc, and we just kind of avoided each other. Though I did bond as casual friends with the younger sister, having the shared experience of the elder sisters torment.
Unbeknownst to her, the older sister started dating a guy I had been friends with for years. I was able to finally get some insight into the source of the sisters conflict. Apparently some time back at the Catholic school, the younger sister had a crush on a guy. And the older sister, with full knowledge of her younger sisters affections, ended up hooking up with him anyway.
Eventually my friend dumped the older sister. She did not take it well and was actively trying to get him back. One Friday night, I was at a kegger and had hopped to the backyard to get some air. I heard a little commotion back where the air conditioning unit had been fenced off. I went in to investigate further.
There, on her knees, was the little sister, blowing my friend who had just dumped her big sister. I was not as stealthy as I should have been, and they both ended up noticing me. I just smiled, took a step back and said, 'Don't worry, your secret is safe with me." The littler sister gave me a sinister grin and said, 'Oh don't worry, it won't be a secret for long."
Given that he had full knowledge of the backstory, my friend should have seen the folly of it all. But I guess the prospect of having 2 sisters on your resume at such a young age causes one to override certain warning signals. The smug look of satisfaction on his face quickly switched to deep concern, as he realized he was but a pawn in a much larger game. The concern gave way to genuine fear as he contemplated the magnitude of what was about to unfold. I went back into the house to find a front row seat for the imminent carnage.
Upon finishing her work, little sister skipped into the house much as a child would. My friend seemed to be running full out to catch and stop her, but somehow seemed to actually lose ground. She sauntered up to her sister to share her new secret, then glided out of the house as if she had a Nobel prize to collect.
I was just a few feet away from big sister when she heard the words. A moment or 2 passed as she fully processed it. Then the rage hit and she saw my friend. Right as she started in for him, we made eye contact, and she saw the shit eating grin on my face. At that exact moment, she knew that I knew. And with that, her journey to the dark side was complete.
The yelling, screaming and crying that ensued after is the stuff of legend. Just Glorious. I don't know what happened on the Saturday and Sunday. But by Monday both sisters looked physically and emotionally drained. Neither were really the same after that.
The older sister has been divorced twice and is a struggling real estate agent now, still in the area. She has put on 100 lbs, and looks horrendous. Twisted and bitter. It would be impossible for anyone to believe she had been beautiful for a single day of her life. The younger sister got an accounting degree and became a pretty decent CPA, before chucking it all and going back to school to become an acupuncturist. Lives in Colorado and been married for 20 years. She had 2 daughters. 2 years apart. Both beautiful and now a Freshman and Jr in college. Wonder how their HS years were?
Last edited:
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Glorious
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When I was a teenager I had a girlfriend who was a legit 10. She could have been a model she was basically flawless. I realized she was way out of my league and after a few months I broke up with her. I knew she was getting attention anywhere she went and would eventually find somebody better than me. I didn't think it would work long-term so I preemptively ended it. Looking back in hindsight all of that might be true but I should have just kept fucking her as long as it would last. She's married to a millionaire right now. Oh well.
I think there's this elementary school classmate who was a military kid and I think she might be a big tittie porn girl. Of course, not absolutely sure since it was kiddie days and appearances change and memories of appearance fade.
