Girls you knew

OeuvrePressure said:
This chick in the next grade, she was a slightly chunky redhead with the nice big tittyballs, I was infatuated with her, and at fifteen, too young to have the confidence to ask her out.

I found out she'd gotten really drunk at a party and blew every dude that walked into the room she was in

At the time, it killed my infatuation boner

I felt miserable. The next week a big titty Jewish girl moved into my neighborhood, and we dated for years
Click to expand...
We've all felt this at one time or another...

 
Grundle said:
Once attended a medical billing class which lasted three months. Small class, mostly female, mostly twenties. All any girl wanted to talk about during breaks were tattoos, and Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Except a girl we'll call Big Pharma. You see Big Pharma was in her late thirties, ten years my senior, and she lived up to her name. Big Pharma and I sat together and talked literature, cuisine, and prescription drugs.

Big Pharma and I never exchanged numbers, never left campus for lunch, and never expressed interest in anything outside of a working relationship. Three months passes in the blink of an eye then Big Pharma and I part ways for what we assumed would be forever. Not long after finding a job I begin dating a hot little number we'll call Incontinence. This one lived up to her name too. Less than one month into dating Incontinence I ask why she feels the need to consume an entire bottle of Cab every night. After much fuss and denial Incontinence reluctantly reveals that red wine is the only substance on earth which keeps her regular. Gross.

Incontinence and I have a rocky relationship that lasts only five months. Her habit of one bottle per night turned into two and I had also found out she was chasing pain pills with wine. Incontinence needed help which I could not provide. We broke up.

After every break up a man needs to stretch his wings and fly. So I'm at the bar. At the club even. Who do I bump into? Big Pharma. She's big and booze up. We dance, laugh, drink, kiss, and leave together. Knowing I got one in the bag I don't ask her designated driver where we're headed. Happily I walk right into a raucous house party. There's nowhere to put the moves on Big Pharma. She knows everyone there and I'd never seen their faces before. So what's a man to do other than mingle?

Mingle I do. Meet a woman we'll call Richter Scale. A fellow medical professional who sits at a computer all day. By the looks of her she never gets up. Richter Scale says a skinny man like me could never out drink her. Challenge accepted.

We went shot for shot using one of those tall skinny glasses. Stoli goes down like water. Soon, very soon, I've got blinders and just want to get my hands on something. Find myself on a love seat sitting on Richer Scale's lap. She took up damn near both seats. We're furiously making out.

Big Pharma struts up and points directly at us. Yells "you're with her now?!" and storms off.

Apparently the two ladies were friends. Richter Scale attempts to chase Big Pharma down the hall to apologize but was unsuccessful. I find her panting in the hallway right next to a vacant laundry room.

Still rocking half ass whiskey dick I try to push rope one more time in the laundry room. Richter Scale was too emotional and the moment had passed.

A tale of three girls once known.
Click to expand...
This whole story...

<KingstonFrown>
 
OeuvrePressure said:
This chick in the next grade, she was a slightly chunky redhead with the nice big tittyballs, I was infatuated with her, and at fifteen, too young to have the confidence to ask her out.

I found out she'd gotten really drunk at a party and blew every dude that walked into the room she was in

At the time, it killed my infatuation boner

I felt miserable. The next week a big titty Jewish girl moved into my neighborhood, and we dated for years
Click to expand...

I thought this was going to be a “girls who got fat” thread, instead came in to find an interesting story.

From the first page it soon devolved into an anonymous cesspool bragging fest full of loosely substantiated boasts about guys who had nearly missed with 10’s.
 
It was just supposed to be about chicks, not necessarily ones you fucked.

Anyways, there was another chunky slutty redhead at a party, and no shit, at the end of the night a bunch of us leftovers were hanging out drinking shots, when she pipes up, "Who wants to sleep with me?"

I stood right up, and we went upstairs.

Here's where it gets hilarious.
We hop into bed and I soon hear she's on her period, and furthermore just had a molar removed so none of that action.

I don't recall what I said when leaving the room but I told everybody downstairs not to step up, and why. I never did figure out wtf she wanted or expected.
 
OeuvrePressure said:
It was just supposed to be about chicks, not necessarily ones you fucked.

Anyways, there was another chunky slutty redhead at a party, and no shit, at the end of the night a bunch of us leftovers were hanging out drinking shots, when she pipes up, "Who wants to sleep with me?"

I stood right up, and we went upstairs.

Here's where it gets hilarious.
We hop into bed and I soon hear she's on her period, and furthermore just had a molar removed so none of that action.

I don't recall what I said when leaving the room but I told everybody downstairs not to step up, and why. I never did figure out wtf she wanted or expected.
Click to expand...

I'd never bang a chick who indiscriminately offered sex like that.
 
Most girls that I had a thing for back then are married with kids now and are doing well. It drives me crazy that people notice I’m single w/no kids and try to pester me about it, like it’s some kind of problem; they always tell me that could have been you married to her with kids. I’m not the type that thinks of stupid hypotheticals like that.

What makes them think they’re so great?
 
I was kinda stoned last night thinking of the most beautiful iranian/white girl I dated in high school. Please God give me another shot, I'm a changed man
 
Monkeymonkeymonkey said:
I read "I hope they serve beer I hell" and every since then I wanted a blumpkin. It was something I had to have. So a few years ago I dated this columbian girl who was basically in love with me after a few weeks.

So I mustered up the courage to ask her about it. She was very hesitant at first but I was persisant and she finally gave in. I told her the next time I had to dump it was gonna happen. Well the time had come for me to shit and I grab her hand and bring her in the bathroom. I sit down and she goes to start sucking when suddenly I felt really emabaressed for some reason . I couldn't do it. I regret this decision for years now.

Maybe if I was drunk I would of gone through with it . I ended up breaking up with her a few weeks later because she was becoming way too clingy so I never got a redo on the situation. Though the next girl I dated I did give a blumpkin to her. Was an experience I'll never forget. Sorry for the long post
Click to expand...

Fedorgasm said:
Blumpkins are dangerous bro. After your 3rd one, you'll never be able to come without shitting.

Fine for one-night stands at her place but not so fine for relationships.
Click to expand...

Grundle said:
Once attended a medical billing class which lasted three months. Small class, mostly female, mostly twenties. All any girl wanted to talk about during breaks were tattoos, and Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Except a girl we'll call Big Pharma. You see Big Pharma was in her late thirties, ten years my senior, and she lived up to her name. Big Pharma and I sat together and talked literature, cuisine, and prescription drugs.

Big Pharma and I never exchanged numbers, never left campus for lunch, and never expressed interest in anything outside of a working relationship. Three months passes in the blink of an eye then Big Pharma and I part ways for what we assumed would be forever. Not long after finding a job I begin dating a hot little number we'll call Incontinence. This one lived up to her name too. Less than one month into dating Incontinence I ask why she feels the need to consume an entire bottle of Cab every night. After much fuss and denial Incontinence reluctantly reveals that red wine is the only substance on earth which keeps her regular. Gross.

Incontinence and I have a rocky relationship that lasts only five months. Her habit of one bottle per night turned into two and I had also found out she was chasing pain pills with wine. Incontinence needed help which I could not provide. We broke up.

After every break up a man needs to stretch his wings and fly. So I'm at the bar. At the club even. Who do I bump into? Big Pharma. She's big and booze up. We dance, laugh, drink, kiss, and leave together. Knowing I got one in the bag I don't ask her designated driver where we're headed. Happily I walk right into a raucous house party. There's nowhere to put the moves on Big Pharma. She knows everyone there and I'd never seen their faces before. So what's a man to do other than mingle?

Mingle I do. Meet a woman we'll call Richter Scale. A fellow medical professional who sits at a computer all day. By the looks of her she never gets up. Richter Scale says a skinny man like me could never out drink her. Challenge accepted.

We went shot for shot using one of those tall skinny glasses. Stoli goes down like water. Soon, very soon, I've got blinders and just want to get my hands on something. Find myself on a love seat sitting on Richer Scale's lap. She took up damn near both seats. We're furiously making out.

Big Pharma struts up and points directly at us. Yells "you're with her now?!" and storms off.

Apparently the two ladies were friends. Richter Scale attempts to chase Big Pharma down the hall to apologize but was unsuccessful. I find her panting in the hallway right next to a vacant laundry room.

Still rocking half ass whiskey dick I try to push rope one more time in the laundry room. Richter Scale was too emotional and the moment had passed.

A tale of three girls once known.
Click to expand...

At first I'm like

<{clintugh}>

And then when I realize we've all been there

<{monica}>
 
OeuvrePressure said:
It was just supposed to be about chicks, not necessarily ones you fucked.

Anyways, there was another chunky slutty redhead at a party, and no shit, at the end of the night a bunch of us leftovers were hanging out drinking shots, when she pipes up, "Who wants to sleep with me?"

I stood right up, and we went upstairs.

Here's where it gets hilarious.
We hop into bed and I soon hear she's on her period, and furthermore just had a molar removed so none of that action.

I don't recall what I said when leaving the room but I told everybody downstairs not to step up, and why. I never did figure out wtf she wanted or expected.
Click to expand...
images
 
I was really into a chick back in highschool. I adored everything about her. Then she admitted she wanted my older brother .....
<2>
 
OeuvrePressure said:
It was just supposed to be about chicks, not necessarily ones you fucked.

Anyways, there was another chunky slutty redhead at a party, and no shit, at the end of the night a bunch of us leftovers were hanging out drinking shots, when she pipes up, "Who wants to sleep with me?"

I stood right up, and we went upstairs.

Here's where it gets hilarious.
We hop into bed and I soon hear she's on her period, and furthermore just had a molar removed so none of that action.

I don't recall what I said when leaving the room but I told everybody downstairs not to step up, and why. I never did figure out wtf she wanted or expected.
Click to expand...
Anal??
 
I “dated” this girl back when I was like 14 and was still a virgin. I was scared to do shit back then. Long story short, I get on tinder and just swipe right on everyone until I run out of likes to see what happens. Don’t even look at the pics. Anyway I randomly matched with her and she hit me up at like 1am last night. Drove over there and did that. That’s 3 different chicks in 3 straight weekends. Never ever done that before in my 31 years.
 
Hans Gercmiov said:
I “dated” this girl back when I was like 14 and was still a virgin. I was scared to do shit back then. Long story short, I get on tinder and just swipe right on everyone until I run out of likes to see what happens. Don’t even look at the pics. Anyway I randomly matched with her and she hit me up at like 1am last night. Drove over there and did that. That’s 3 different chicks in 3 straight weekends. Never ever done that before in my 31 years.
Click to expand...

Ah man, sorry to hear that.

Well at least you avenged a loss. You ok?
 
I find it strange that a woman would blow a bunch of dudes at once.

Just my opinion.
 
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