Friends & training dilemma

Sadly we all run into people like that at some point. There was some teenage kid, maybe 17 or so, who came into my academy and trained for maybe a week or two. Terrible ego, thought he was really strong (he wasn't) and slammed the mat every time he got tapped out (he was a very inexperienced white belt). He left, and went to train at a less reputable local school. A couple months later we get some other teenager from this kid's high school talking about how great a fighter that white belt supposedly is and how he's undefeated in cage fights, apparently bragging around town that he's some champion MMA fighter. But this is just some stupid kid. Sounds like you're dealing with a grown ass man.

People like this have self esteem problems and probably know they're full of shit. You need to either cut them off completely or confront them on it face to face. I don't mean fight them, but I mean ask them honestly why they are acting like this (assuming it's out of character in the first place).
 
Here is an EASY way to resolve this. You're obviously the better man, so play to his weaknesses.

Ask him if you can train with him since he's got an obvious knack for martial arts, ask to work on your sparring. Then, if you can, completely control him.

You can't lose in this scenario, and here's why:

1. If you win, you win - and he knows you're better. Proceed from here as you will.
2. If he happens to be good and wins, you prefaced the encounter with "I want to learn from you." Yeah, he's still a dick, and this may inflate his ego more - but now you know that he does have the skill to back it up.

How I'd handle it anyways.
 
You're about to marry your buddy's sister?

I'd probably talk a bunch of shit too if I were him.
 
When he talks about mounting faber talk about mounting his sister. Or during the wedding ceremony call him out in your vowels.


In reality I would stay humble about it. When he talks about it act very disinterested. just say "oh cool" and change subject eventually he'll get tired
 
Here's a little newsflash. Most fighters are arrogant. Especially the ones who know nothing about it. I bet he wears TapouT shirts everywhere he goes.

Who cares? Let him run his mouth. What's it hurting besides his ego when he gets the shit beat out of him?
 
What Rambo said...

Either just cut them off or honestly confront them as friend, and future brother.
 
platfox said:
If he was really your best friend for a long time plus the fact he's going to be family, you need to clear things up with him. It sucks to throw away a friendship without at least trying to save it.

Start with "since you started training, you've turned into a real douche bag".
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I can't be the only one whose seen someone go through a "bully" phase when they started training and get a sudden rush of "empowerment". These things sometimes take care of themselves, by which I mean they get taken care of at the gym as the guy realizes:

a) He's not obligated to be a douche just because he's learning fight skills.
b) Some people at the gym have been going VERY easy on him.
 
it sounds like you guys probably both suck at fighting
 
sounds like a tool to me. Good riddance is what I say.
 
Ask when he is going to be around, so you can roll with him.

I wouldn't spar. If you are tooling him, he is going to go jack it up to 100% and someone is going to get hurt or KO'd.

Roll with him, sub him as many times as you can. And if you can't sub him, control the CHIT out of him. Knee on Belly, side control scarf hold etc etc.
 
I'm in the let him run his mouth camp. If he keeps training, eventually he will run into many many people who will turn him inside out, and the ego thing will evaporate. In the meantime, just ignore the trash talking and be polite to him. In the long run, he will need to find a way to stop talking tough without losing face, and this approach will allow him that opening and you can go back to being friends, or acquaintances or whatever you are/were/will be.

Thick skin will help you, seriously, grow one.
 
Next time you roll with him, video tape it, put it on youtube, and label it Lindsey Lohan nip slip - The whole world will see.
 
He does need a good ole fashioned butt-kicking (at least in sparring). However, it's up to you whether you think it's worth doing it to someone that's close to you and also soon to be a relative. As others have said, it's probably best to leave him be and eventually it'll catch up to him.

Personally, I'd have a grown up talk with him to tell him what's up since you were once close to the guy. I tend to believe people who I care for are worth the effort, at least once.

Good luck with your decision, it's complicated. Could you let us know what you decide to do when the time comes?
 
Ask yourself a few questions.

Is he going to continue this stupidness if you ignore him?

Will he do so if you ask him to stop?

If you don't think he will stop then you need to settle it. Do you start responding or do you issue him a friendly challenge, something like I bet I can sub your 5 times in 10 minutes of rolling. It has to be something tangable that can be followed through on.

If this guy is your Fiance's brother then chances are it isn't going away. You need to settle it, because you'll be seeing this guy alot. Ohh, and if your friends why aren't you busting this guys balls back? That's what guys do.
 
He's just jealous you beat him before and want's to settle the score. Do you think you could beat him now? If so, roll with him again and get a choke and make him sleep a bit. When he wakes, he won't remember that he was tapping you and won't be mad. I think he'll respect you in the morning & might even make you breakfast...
 
879lexus said:
He's just jealous you beat him before and want's to settle the score. Do you think you could beat him now? If so, roll with him again and get a choke and make him sleep a bit. When he wakes, he won't remember that he was tapping you and won't be mad. I think he'll respect you in the morning & might even make you breakfast...
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And if he doesn't make breakfast, you just choke him out again. Tell him that making breakfast and wearing makeup is the only way to make the darkness stop.

He'll see who the real bitch is in no time.
 
Team Sleep said:
And if he doesn't make breakfast, you just choke him out again. Tell him that making breakfast and wearing makeup is the only way to make the darkness stop.

He'll see who the real bitch is in no time.
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That's real funny..lol

Dude, you gotta open a can of whipa*s*s on him man. If you don't think you can beat him, still roll with him. But the following will definetely put him in his place if you can NOT sub him. All of these must be "accidental"

1) Elbow him in above the eye and open it up
2) Smash your forearm in the nose bridge while doing an escape
3) Thumb in the eye while trying to get mount
4) Peel the ear like an orange and say Opps

That's what I would do if I was losing. Since you're almost family, once there's bleeding, you both would stop rolling (since you're family)
 
Just bide your time until you get the chance to spar and smash him around again LOL. Posers like that usually don't go anywhere in the sport anyway so you shouldn't have to put up with his shit for too long :icon_chee.
 
I'd just ignore the guy. Sounds like an idiot.
 
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