Friends & training dilemma

Discussion in 'Grappling Technique' started by The Mursenary, Aug 10, 2010.

  1. The Mursenary

    The Mursenary Skull County Killer Platinum Member

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    Okay, here's some background. I've down kung fu for ten years and Jiu-Jitsu for about a year now. I got my friend into MMA around a year ago and he moved away and went on to train elsewhere, kind of gym hopping, but it seems to have gone to his head. Here's a rundown of what is going on:

    1.) his GF has made backhanded insults to me via facebook, etc... about how he's a better fighter/MA than me, despite the fact that he has only about 8-9 months of total training. I know this has to come from him and she just reiterates (sp)? it.

    2.) He's trained at a few hole in the wall gyms, but trained for 2 months at Urijah Faber's gym. He's always bragging about tapping purple's, blues, etc... and how Faber rolled with him and couldn't submit him, only "control" him. I don't know what to say to these things because I trained in the Cesar Gracie system and when I roll with a purple belt, I get pretzeled.

    3.) He told me he KO'd a guy in sparring. Then on facebook etc... it suddenly turned into an amaetur MMA fight and now he's "2-0" or something when he hasn't, in actuality, had an amaetur fight. Now he condescends my 3 pankration fights as something beneath his level of expertise.

    4.) He's never watched MMA. Ever. Now that he's been DVR'ing ultimate knock outs, etc... he acts as if he's an MMA encyclopedia. His best insight into the sport was "Yeah Wanderlei was pretty good in PRIDE". He acts like I've never watched the sport in my life and said he isn't impressed with Anderson Silva because "that nobody (Travis Lutter) mounted him, even Faber couldn't mount me".

    Anyway, long story made shorter, I've rolled with him ONCE after he's had some training and tapped him with relative ease and lit him up sparring, but I never make any mention of it to avoid awkwardness. This guy is my fiance's brother and has been my best friend for a very long time, and I don't know how to handle this situation. He's making me very angry at times and being downright arrogant, if not lying at times.

    How do you guys handle shit like this with your training partners/friends? With words? With the gloves? If I hear one more "I heel hooked a purple belt with ease" story I may hang myself.

    Thanks for any help.
     
  2. Hillary

    Hillary Brown Belt

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    Let him be a tool and cut all ties. There will forever be people being stupid and delirious, and the best thing is to just allow them to self destruct. It'll catch up to him, but don't be the dick that tattle tales.
     
  3. The Mursenary

    The Mursenary Skull County Killer Platinum Member

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    Thanks for the input. It's what I've been considering just because I don't want the stress :-\
     
  4. Higher Learning

    Higher Learning Brown Belt

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    what hillary said... it will catch up with him
     
  5. lechien

    lechien Gold Belt

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    just make clear to him that he is just the brother of your fiancee and no longer your mate.

    I have trained for a while now and I can see guys getting all friendly at the BJJ club and then later on they just fell apart.

    I just do not make close friends with guys that I train with.
     
  6. bnosam

    bnosam Green Belt

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    Ignore him and stop talking to him
     
  7. ashley2412

    ashley2412 White Belt

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    if he's a good friend, other than just bragging about b.s, is it possible to just change the subject, and tell him you're tired of talking about it? maybe if you show how disinterested you are he'll shut up about it.
     
  8. joe90210

    joe90210 Blue Belt

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    no reason to cut off ties without beating his ass first. Let him decide after his beating, does he want to cut the bullshit or continue being a douche, at which point you stop talking to him.
     
  9. MisterRay

    MisterRay Orange Belt

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    I don't know about this, sure he sounds like a douche but he's about to be family. There is no textbook solution to this problem really, I'd personally just invite him to a friendly roll and see what he's made off. If you best him, he'll probably calm down and he gets the better of you it most likely wont be dominant judging by both your experience levels. If he doesn't dominate you then it'll probably click in his head that he is not hot shit.
     
  10. newerest

    newerest Purple Belt

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    roll with him a bunch of times. if you can tap him like 5 times to 1 then bring it up whenever he tries to act like he can beat your ass

    "Bitch I tapped you out 5 times!"
    Of course you can't seem like you're angry about it, just like you're playing around. but you are definitely calling him out on it- if that makes sense
     
  11. village_idiot

    village_idiot Blue Belt

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    Sounds like a tool, it's probably best to avoid/ignore him from now on. Like someone above said, just let him self destruct.
     
  12. se7en-

    se7en- White Belt

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    call him out. In front of people.
     
  13. a dead stick

    a dead stick Orange Belt

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    If someone was that much of a tool to me, as others have said the only appropriate response is to kick his ass every which way as many times as it takes to shatter his fucked up egotistical complex.

    Call him out on his shit talk while you do it too. Straight up call him a liar (cause its pretty obvious he lies about how awesome he his)

    Seriously, people like that need to be broken, or else totally avoided if you can't bring yourself to do that.

    But IMO an ass kicking is for his own good really. That attitude could get him and his girl hurt if he talks shit to people who aren't nice enough not to kick his ass.
     
  14. FunkyRMe

    FunkyRMe White Belt

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    Yeah I'd say just train with him and lay down a firm foundation of evidence that he ain't all that. And if he still toots his horn, shoot him down with said evidence.
     
  15. Amiro

    Amiro Orange Belt

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    youve done ten years of kung fu and a year of bjj?
    and hes done 8-9 months of mma

    so youre probably both at a beginner level anyway in the grand scheme of things (not hating, ive been doing bjj less than 1 year) but its not like hes calling out rickson gracie

    just ask him on the side why hes acting so wierd lately.

    really you should be flattered that he is insecure enough about you to have to chat so much shit.

    and by a year of bjj or mma id think everyone knows tapping someone in training doesnt mean shit.
    surely one of those clubs he went to must have told him about the 'leave your ego at the door' mentality...

    if you were really good friends in the past though why dont u talk to him. maybe if hes hanging around with dickheads now his personality could change quickly without him even realising.

    forgot to say: hes your bird's brother? then u guys are pretty much family talk it over.
     
  16. crocoppertones

    crocoppertones Silver Belt

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    I'd personally just bring up the fact that you tapped him with ease

    . . . and maybe roll with him again in a controlled situation
     
  17. riddumnation619

    riddumnation619 White Belt

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    lol dude some of these responses are dumb. kick his ass? this guy is his buddy and about to be family. just ask him wtf is going on that he would act like that, on the side though, dont put him on blast in front of other people, hell just get defensive. ask him why hes being a hater and if theres something he wants to talk about. maybe theres a bigger underlying problem and hes just a retard and cant communnicate well.
     
  18. platfox

    platfox Silver Belt

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    If he was really your best friend for a long time plus the fact he's going to be family, you need to clear things up with him. It sucks to throw away a friendship without at least trying to save it.

    Start with "since you started training, you've turned into a real douche bag". Lay it all out there and let things fall the way they fall. Either he'll change and you guys will be buds again or he'll be offended and not associate with you anymore. Either way, its a resolution.
     
  19. Jagcorps_esq

    Jagcorps_esq Red Belt

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    He's not worth the effort or energy.

    Let him be a tool, since that is likely all he is good at.

    If you ever see him, be friendly and subdued. If he puts his hands on you, make sure that by the time you are done with him...his feet somehow end up inside his own ass.
     
  20. HomerPlata

    HomerPlata Purple Belt

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    But dammmmmn, even his girl knows he's a better fighter than you, that's gotta make you mad.

    *stirring the pot*
     

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