Football Dad. Calling all parents of sporting kids.

[William Huggins]

Lots of good advice here, thanks!

I'll keep it all positive and hands off.

I've been ensuring she gets to try as many things as possible, I don't think specialisation is that useful early on. I've trained her how to teep and how to (American football) tackle but I reckon we'll shy away from anything too contact cos of CTE etc. Won't stop her if she chooses something tho.

With both my kids I've done what we call a smash hug everyday when they're off to nursery/school, they run full bore into a hug which often almost knocks me over. They know implicitly how to keep their head out of the way. I took em to rugby tots and the girl forgot it was non contact and de cleated a 4yr old boy. His father said he wasn't even mad, it was such a good tackle

You sound like you're doing a good job, remember to give yourself a pat on the back sometimes..........

 

[Tone C]

(Former Soccer Dad)
At that age it's supposed to be fun. Give it a few years, if she's outclassing the whole field then you start looking at harder leagues, but go mid level for a season, see if she's having fun, don't jump to premier level right off the bat.

When they join the premier level youth clubs, get ready for no off seasons, travel and expenses.

Then be ready for upper teenage years. That's when they either decide to commit to their sport, or enjoy teenage life.

My daughter called it quits on soccer her junior year of HS. Then she walked on the varsity team her senior year and murdered bitches. Then stopped.

She's a conference (D3) champ high jumper in college now and her best friend on her last premier team is still trying to get her to walk on their college team. I think she got burned out and tired of being hurt all the time (multiple concussions and lower body injuries)

Good post. My youngest got taken on by one of the professional rugby team academies . A lot of the kids were serious about it, he went along and enjoyed some aspects but never trained in his spare time like a lot of the others , only when he had to like at the academy or school.

He'd rock up , kick ass then disappear until he had another session....

Pre-covid he just turned around and went ' I'm done with the academy . I dont want to go pro , the kids are too serious . '

I respected his decision but wasnt entirely happy , he has a gift but i dont want to see him waste it . Still , it's his life , he knows what he wants .

 

[Phlog]

You sound like you're doing a good job, remember to give yourself a pat on the back sometimes..........

Really it's just genes man, my son is completely the opposite and hates school! Parenting can be hard mang, let me celebrate the wins!

 

[William Huggins]

Really it's just genes man, my son is completely the opposite and hates school! Parenting can be hard mang, let me celebrate the wins!

Oh believe me it's more than just the genes and boys mostly don't get into their stride till later.

 

[GergreG]

Both my young girls are naturals. Track and field and swimming. It's really hard to get the balance right. I try to stay somewhere between those parents that spend more time staring at their phones and the crazy soccer mums screaming at their kids.

My youngest is only 5, she's been big since birth, athletic big not fat. She has the physical attributes to succeed at just about any sport she chooses. But I can tell already she is more into art, singing and creative stuff. I'll be happy and support whatever either of them choose to do.

 

[Sleestaxk]

How do you deal with it? Do you support em like crazy, just let em get on with it, push them at all? How do you not act crazy?

My seven year old daughter loves pink and unicorns, she is also a natural at sport. She's just turned 7 but wears 8-10 clothes, can swing from one hand, deadlifted over her bodyweight on first try etc etc. She ain't just tall but she's coordinated. Also she has literally the best mentality for high achievement, she's her own worst critic, high level of conscientiousness.

She played a game today and scored the winning goal, she was instrumental in her teams defences too. She didn't tell me this, when she got into the car she was telling me how she made some good tackles and closed people off but could have done much more. The coach told me, stopped us driving off to wax lyrical about her.

Usually I try and watch her play, but both her mum and I had work commitments beyond normal today.

My inclination is to hold back and try and put the brakes on for her a little. She's so hard on herself I reckon she needs wild love and support with no pressure from us. After her first try surfing, a lesson, she cried that she kept falling off, this was after catching every single wave and riding a few right into shore. I had to explain at length that she rode more waves in that hour than I, a surfer had ridden in several months.

Edit forgot to say, I was not a sporty kid and parents hated sport. I have no playbook.

Just wondering if anyone has some tips re ones kids in sports, or maybe a story about it.

My kids played soccer at a fairly high level. They are both adults now so I've done the whole gambit and also came from a family where my parents didnt support my sporting endevors.

1. Encourage her to do what she loves, she loves soccer right now, support it the best you can. She wants to ride the waves, I think you did right in explaning some things dont come right away. This will help for when she gets older and possibly steps up levels of competition so she realizes not every thing is going to be easy.

2. At 7 its all about getting out and having fun, encourage her to soccer, encourage her to surf, encourage her to try something new and not be afraid of failure. My son joined hockey at 17 to hang with his buds, was way behind the others of course but he loved it. Even the clicky parents supported him. Point being he wasnt afrail to try something new and be the worst at it even when he got older.(Also encourage your daughter to love pink and unicorns, thats important too.)

3. As a coach i've seen a few high acheiving kids not able to handle not having instant success when trying to acheive the next level. My view on that generally comes down to the parents heaping them with praise, shitting on poorer players so they dont realize that its ok to fail in the moment and to learn from it.

4. Most importantly remember raising little atheletes is a marathon not a sprint, you need to support them and encourage them even when it gets hard.

 

[2DUM2TAP]

I'm a hockey dad. My kid plays rep but not AAA and he is U16 now (minor midget). So it's less competitive but still higher than the local house league. He's done House league and Select as well. He started hockey / skating a little late at 7 so he had some catching up to do.

I just enjoy taking him, and talking to him to and from the rinks and watching his games. I spend about 5 nights a week at the arena. I don't put any pressure on him other than to make sure he tries as hard as he can and that he is a good sport with no celebrating and isn't critical of his teammates play. It's about fun and making friends and getting exercise and reducing stress through physical exertion.

Some of my proudest moments were watching him when he was playing house league or select. He's always given it a 100%. He's naturally competitive which I actually have to try and tone down a bit. He never takes a shift off. He's gotten team and league MVP awards. Some of the other kids may have been more skilled or better skaters but nobody was as fast as him and nobody gave as much effort as him. My favourite game of his was Pewee championship tournament. He'd lost in the championship game 4 years in a row. He wasn't going to be denied this time. They were down or tied the whole game through. The other team would go up one, then they would tie it. He tied it up with 3 minutes left. Then in the last 15 seconds went end to end and backhand roofed it to take the win. It was super exciting. He ended up scoring 4 of the 5 goals.

 

[panamaican]

Support them but make sure you're focusing on encouraging a growth mindset. Praise her hard work, more than the outcomes of that hard work. We play travel soccer and probably the most important thing I've learned is not to get into an arms race with the parents. The kids will enjoy themselves if left alone but it's the parents who start pushing things into uncomfortable territory.

 

[EndlessCritic]

Thankfully my boys appear to have my trash tier level athleticism, and will likely end up middling in house league.

 

[rocketskates]

Two sons in travel hockey and let me tell you at the travel level every parent thinks their kid is destined for the NHL. I just tell them to make friends, have fun and always try their hardest playing the game that they love and I’m good with it.

 

[TankAbbott4Eva]

Encourage them but let them be kids. Don’t be that parent who takes the fun out of it by taking it too seriously.

It's a good call. My son is 6 and I'm trying to get him involved into team sports for fitness, fun and to make friends but pushing him into it doesn't work. He's tried training programs for Aussie rules, cricket and basketball will start (once COVID allows), as long as he has one active hobby I'll be happy.

 

[ClubFoot]

I gave my 9 yo steroids to assist with net ball.

She’s now 6’4 with a tash that I am very jealous of and she prefers to now be called Virgil.

Looking forward to her 10th birthday.

 

[GergreG]

It's a good call. My son is 6 and I'm trying to get him involved into team sports for fitness, fun and to make friends but pushing him into it doesn't work. He's tried training programs for Aussie rules, cricket and basketball will start (once COVID allows), as long as he has one active hobby I'll be happy.

Yeah it's a tough one. I played team sports growing up and loved it. Rugby league/union in winter then summer was cricket. I've asked my two if they want to try soccer but not interested at their age. But they do enjoy running and that is the core skill for teamsport. So they can enjoy that until they get peer pressure from their friends in a few years.

 

[panamaican]

It's a good call. My son is 6 and I'm trying to get him involved into team sports for fitness, fun and to make friends but pushing him into it doesn't work. He's tried training programs for Aussie rules, cricket and basketball will start (once COVID allows), as long as he has one active hobby I'll be happy.

I kind of went the other way. Something I read said that kids won't enjoy sports that they're not good at. So, early on it's okay to make them do a sport, even if they're not in love with it. As they get better, they'll learn to like it and build confidence in their own abilities.

After that, you can let them go do something that they choose.

It worked for us. My son didn't want to do any specific sport and would read during recess. So I picked soccer and made him tryout for a travel team. We spent the 1st 6 months with him hating the sport but loving the friendships. And that was enough to keep him in it until he developed some abilities. After that, the natural kid desire to get good at stuff kicked in and he started looking forward to it. If I'd waited for him to make the choice, we would never have started anything.