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My wife's sense of smell became like a bloodhound. No chicken in the house. It sucked but I made it through.
First time parents..What to expect? Seeking advice from the knowledgeable.
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My wife's sense of smell became like a bloodhound. No chicken in the house. It sucked but I made it through.
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And this too shall pass. My oldest daughter suffered with colic when she was born, and I thought I was never gonna make it as a dad. I look back now and laugh at the times I thought my troubles were never going to end. My daughters are 8 and 9 now. And each year brings it's own set of issues to be figured out. But each year has also brought me a new appreciation for the life lessons they teach me as I teach them.
You will never have all the answers. You will not always make the right choices. It's all good though. As long as you act with your kids best interests first. You will be a good parent. That's where people get it twisted. A lot of folks make decisions on behalf of themselves and justify that if they are happy. Then their kids should be happy too. Doesn't quite work that way.
Thanks dude.
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Np.
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Lol. You know there are sherdoggers who give actual honest responses much like your sarcastic quips every single time right?
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I don't think I like anyone enough where I'd let that fly more than once. Maybe my mother but that's about it.
Ok..... So... According to two pregnancy 'pee' sticks, my GF appears to be pregnant. Im keeping a calm and cool demeanor, but obviously Im a little nervous, since this was unplanned.
I havent talked to anyone family or friends yet, and want to try and keep this relatively low key from people in my close circle.
Im probably setting myself up posting this anywhere a Sherdogger can see this, but Im taking a chance that I wont get trolled too hard. Hopefully I will get some good answers, or "insider advice" if you will.(and yes, Im also searching other articles and references) Naturally, Im not leaving all my answers/decisions in the hands of Sherdoggers, as most of you have yet to have kids. No offense).
Thanks in advance.
This ought to be good....
First off, depending on your wife, the pregnancy can be interesting. Encourage her to stay active, keep working for as long as she can, little things to stay connected to the world because once the baby comes, it is all consuming. Be prepared for hormonal swings and don't ever forget you put that baby in there. Just suck it up and say sorry even if you did nothing wrong. This can continue for a little while after the baby is born too as she gets her body back. Also, read up on post partum depression. Also, be aware of sympathy weight gain. I actually put on weight during my wife's pregnancy. I was kind of excited as I was figuring that she was going to get all these cravings and we were going to be eating a ton of junk food. She never did, but that didn't stop me from pigging out every once in a while.
Start out by finding a used copy of a "What to expect book" that walks you through pregnancy and the first couple of years of your child's life.
Don't buy anything new. Especially clothes unless it is a deep discount. Kids, babies in particular, grow so fast that you will be amazed how quickly they grow out of clothes and toys. Babies don't care if they are wearing Baby Gap or Toughskins.
Be prepared to be awed and amazed, but don't be a dipshit. As Furious Styles said, "Any fool with a dick can make a baby, but only a real man can raise his children." Having a baby isn't an accomplishment. Raising a child the right way so he/she grows up to be a good person is an accomplishment.
They are constantly watching you and will mimic your behavior, actions and words. Best way to raise a good kid is to set the example.
Pay close attention to the baby's crying. You should be able to tell, by the cry, if they are hungry, need a diaper change, or just want attention.
Figure out a plan of who is watching the kid at night. Don't be stupid and rely on the first one to hear it or something. That will quickly turn into an argument over who got up last time or who is getting up more.
Sleep when the kid is sleeping. Don't be an idiot and think that you have some time to kick back and watch some TV with some peace and quiet. Sleep. If your wife stays home with him/her, make sure she does this as well. You can clean, cook, and do laundry when the kid is awake.
Don't even consider cloth diapers unless you want to be doing laundry 24/7. Changing diapers isn't that bad unless it's a blowout.
You can get free how to videos on potty training from Pampers or Huggies, but ask other parents what worked best for them.
Try to ditch the pacifier as soon as you can, but don't feel like a bad parent if you use one. Young babies can't really pacify themselves so need the help.
Get used to going to the doctor...a lot. Good time to check your coverage and make sure you are making the right decisions for the coming year. Most plans allow for changes for a "life changing event" so you shouldn't have to worry. Also remember that your wife will be going frequently too.
You and your wife should read up on breastfeeding and figure out if that is what you want to do. The hospital should have a lactation specialist that can help. Also, if you do breastfeed, find a good breast pump so she can pump out the milk and save it. Also, if you do that, it means she's getting very very few straight hours of sleep since she'll have to get up a lot to pump.
Take a birthing and parenting class that should be offered for free at the hospital you plan to give birth at. Also get shit packed and ready several weeks before the due date.
There's a lot more, of course. Though it may seem soon, but you better start thinking about whether or not you want another since you'll want them close together in age. Do you want to be a f**king father?! (again)
Lastly, it is worth it and more.
Changing diapers isn't a big deal. Lack of sleep probably won't be as bad as you think, either. A colicky baby is hard to deal with, though, and when the kid gets a little older, feeding him or her can be stressful. They make such a mess and are throwing food around, etc.
But none of that is a big deal compared to a lot of unsolicited advice thrown my way. If it's a close family member or friend, that's fine, but I've been amazed at the idiot strangers who have come up to me in a store or whatever and told me to make sure I "take care of those babies." I can't imagine saying that to someone you've never met before. Maybe it's because I'm a guy and I'm often by myself with my kids. It's resulted in some heated exchanges. I don't go for that kind of shit.
Obviously you know kids aren't cheap, but just try to be as sensible as possible when buying things, e.g. he or she doesn't HAVE to have so-and-so toy. And hopefully friends and family will hook you up at the baby shower. That can be a big help.
But most of fall, bro, enjoy it. Along with the stress, people forget to tell you how much fun kids are and how much they'll make you laugh, and how much they'll make feel like maybe the world isn't such a bad place. And the first time he or she is able to hold your hand while walking across the street, you'll feel like king of the world.
But none of that is a big deal compared to a lot of unsolicited advice thrown my way. If it's a close family member or friend, that's fine, but I've been amazed at the idiot strangers who have come up to me in a store or whatever and told me to make sure I "take care of those babies." I can't imagine saying that to someone you've never met before. Maybe it's because I'm a guy and I'm often by myself with my kids. It's resulted in some heated exchanges. I don't go for that kind of shit.
Obviously you know kids aren't cheap, but just try to be as sensible as possible when buying things, e.g. he or she doesn't HAVE to have so-and-so toy. And hopefully friends and family will hook you up at the baby shower. That can be a big help.
But most of fall, bro, enjoy it. Along with the stress, people forget to tell you how much fun kids are and how much they'll make you laugh, and how much they'll make feel like maybe the world isn't such a bad place. And the first time he or she is able to hold your hand while walking across the street, you'll feel like king of the world.
Take a birthing and parenting class that should be offered for free at the hospital you plan to give birth at. Also get shit packed and ready several weeks before the due date.
Good advice here. If nothing else you're in room with a bunch of other couples who are as anxious as you are, and it makes you feel better about things.
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Stock up on Diapers now. My son went through 12 a day as a newborn.
One thing I read somewhere that worked for both my kids was to train them to hold my hand when I say "parking lot" so they know to follow parking lot rules and stay close. It's a little better than saying "there's a creepy guy walking this way, so take my hand". It's pretty cool when they actually learn to listen and comprehend it.
As a first time parent what can you expect?
You can expect that your child throughout the course of its life will introduce untold tons of garbage into landfills everywhere leaving behind an eternal legacy of refuse
You can expect that your child will face the same grim future that the rest of us are condemned to ,one of servitude to a culture of consumption hell bent on destroying nature in the interest of temporary gains.In short , work ,buy,smile ,die.
You can expect that your child will be limited to the same narrow world view that it's parents were and as such adhere to constraining and absurd axioms like nationalism, racism,religion or even atheism.
You can expect that your child will haphazardly introduce into this wrecked world even more of its kind with the same reckless abandon that mommy and daddy did
But despite all these irrefutable facts
You can expect that child to be special just like you are ,just like we all are...
Meaning ...
You can expect that child to be insane and rightfully so
After all ,insanity is a sane reaction
You can expect that your child throughout the course of its life will introduce untold tons of garbage into landfills everywhere leaving behind an eternal legacy of refuse
You can expect that your child will face the same grim future that the rest of us are condemned to ,one of servitude to a culture of consumption hell bent on destroying nature in the interest of temporary gains.In short , work ,buy,smile ,die.
You can expect that your child will be limited to the same narrow world view that it's parents were and as such adhere to constraining and absurd axioms like nationalism, racism,religion or even atheism.
You can expect that your child will haphazardly introduce into this wrecked world even more of its kind with the same reckless abandon that mommy and daddy did
But despite all these irrefutable facts
You can expect that child to be special just like you are ,just like we all are...
Meaning ...
You can expect that child to be insane and rightfully so
After all ,insanity is a sane reaction
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i have 5 months until d day myself.
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Compared to leaving work for 5 yrs until the kids are back at school? You are high.
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Don't look down when the baby is being delivered. Well, at least I didn't. And don't think 1000 diapers is enough. Through the first 6 weeks, I wouldn't doubt that we've gone through almost 100 every week (kid pees before during and after a feeding).
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Expect to not have much free time, sleep, deal with crying, shit and piss on your hands, expensive formula and diapers, and if you work and she doesnt, might as well consider that you have two jobs, as youre going to have the kid pawned off on you as soon as you get home. You will count the days til they start school and go through shit loads of clothes and toys.
