First Impressions

Discussion in 'Mayberry Lounge' started by Pugilistic, Dec 25, 2016.

  1. Pugilistic

    Pugilistic Red Belt

    Joined:
    May 14, 2008
    Messages:
    9,599
    Likes Received:
    14,524
    A while back, I used to be part of this sort of philosophy discussion group where we practiced talking about our first impressions to each other. We would talk about what kind of impression we got from others or what we thought when first saw them. Like if you noticed if someone was overweight, if you thought his/her shirt was weird, if you thought they were attractive, if you thought he/she’d be a cool person to hang out with, etc. We’d also share what kind of impressions you’d like to give to others as well. The point of this was to practice being honest, and dealing with other people’s honesty, because what people say about you is mostly their projections so it helped me to not take things personally. Sometimes is was amusing the large disparity between what each person’s impression of me was. Thought it would be a fun little exercise us sherbros can do.

    What kind of first impressions do you give people? Or what kind of first impressions do you think you give?

    • A lot of people, especially women, would say I seem like a typical frat bro or jock.
    • Had the occasional person tell me I seem like a quiet nerd who isn’t interested in partying or meeting girls.
    • I had a few guys tell me I seem like a chill guy who’s cool to hang with.
    • I had one girl tell me when she first saw me I was like a little brother she never had.

    What kind of impression would like to give?

    • Ideally I would like to come off as a chill dude who’s genuine and compassionate. In reality I probably mostly come off as a weirdo who hunts pigeons.
     
  2. 22k

    22k ベルセルク Yellow Card

    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2008
    Messages:
    27,299
    Likes Received:
    34,283
    Location:
    New York
    a groundhog expert.
     
    FyrFytr998 likes this.
  3. Chesten_Hesten

    Chesten_Hesten The Wiener of Steel

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2006
    Messages:
    12,369
    Likes Received:
    24,222
    "He's a nice guy once you get to know him."

    "He's an asshole but you'll get used to it."

    Both phrases pretty much spot on for me!
     
  4. MarcoW

    MarcoW Bojacked Horsehungman

    Joined:
    Aug 1, 2012
    Messages:
    3,880
    Likes Received:
    2,235
    Location:
    Earth
    i instinctively push a persona that makes me look dumber than I am.
    ever since grade school I've answered questions wrong on purpose out loud even though I knew the answers.
    Wonder why that is.
     
  5. My name is

    My name is Shawn

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2014
    Messages:
    7,385
    Likes Received:
    7,334
    Location:
    the 572nd best place on earth
    I don't worry about or try to project an image I just do what I want

    normally I don't stand out and most people forget me
     
    Last edited: Dec 25, 2016
  6. j123

    j123 Pro Sherdogger 500-0-1

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2013
    Messages:
    13,764
    Likes Received:
    14,807
    Location:
    Let me bang mang
    [​IMG]
     
  7. steve38

    steve38 Black Belt

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2015
    Messages:
    5,435
    Likes Received:
    8,084
    Location:
    USA
    In a group like that, I'm sure there was much more thought put into the first impression, than would be otherwise. Most people just judge you as good/bad, or opportunity/threat in real life situations. I seem to be very accurate with those "snap judgments" although I'm often criticized by friends for making them. Ironically, most people are usually wrong in their immediate negative impression of me, at least in my current locale.
     
  8. Pugilistic

    Pugilistic Red Belt

    Joined:
    May 14, 2008
    Messages:
    9,599
    Likes Received:
    14,524
    That is true. We did acknowledge that and tried to make honest as possible immediate impressions if possible. A lot of times with chicks it basically boiled down to “she’s cute,” or “she’s not cute.” Once I told a girl she was hot but looked like she had a lot of work done. She didn’t like that lol.

    Another point of the exercise was to acknowledge that our impressions are often wrong and that whatever people said about us isn’t personal, which I think is a good lesson carry with you
     
    steve38 likes this.
  9. Dogstarman

    Dogstarman Old man jiu jitsu

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2006
    Messages:
    11,590
    Likes Received:
    4,526
    Location:
    On the mats
    That's not philosophy bro. That's bullshit talking about your feelings. Philosophy is dissecting logic. It's meta science bro.
     
    Tycho Brah likes this.
  10. Kardashians

    Kardashians ☆ sitting on the moon ☽

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2015
    Messages:
    13,057
    Likes Received:
    18,829
    Ever since fourth grade people have always thought I'm weird. They're right.

    First impressions I get mostly are determining whether or not I should be suspicious of somebody. Like if they could be a danger to me. But I feel that way about like, all men lol. And if I'm suspicious of a girl it's bc I've thought she could be working with a man lmao. Irl I'd avoid all of you o:

    Outside of that its just "wow he has nice eyes" and "awwww she's so adorable!!! Can I put her in my pocket" lol xD
     
    scorpipede likes this.
  11. FierceRedBelt

    FierceRedBelt Red Belt

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2012
    Messages:
    8,843
    Likes Received:
    7,466
    Location:
    United States
    An old gay black dude once told me I looked like a young Brad Pitt.

    That's the 'first impression' that I'm running with forever.
     
    Last edited: Dec 25, 2016
    Pugilistic likes this.
  12. Monopoly

    Monopoly Out of mana.

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2011
    Messages:
    8,427
    Likes Received:
    3,108
    Since I got a really bad case of resting bitch face, most people, when they get to Know me, tell me that I'm much nicer than I look.
    I'm super shy around new people too so I think I give a bad first impression in general lol
     
    choke you likes this.
  13. scorpipede

    scorpipede you do yo thang Baby Smurf

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2007
    Messages:
    25,862
    Likes Received:
    32,181
    Some people think I'm dumb because I'm patient and refuse to finish their sentences for them. I don't fill in the blanks while they stumble to find a word. I'm also not just waiting for them to be done talking and I actually consider what they've just said. It's often to the point where they feel the need to rephrase their thought.
     
    trolololol and deviake like this.
  14. Bob Gray

    Bob Gray Deadlights Belt Platinum Member

    Joined:
    Apr 15, 2007
    Messages:
    18,807
    Likes Received:
    7,096
    Location:
    Derry, Maine
    I've found that I have a very wide range of first impressions based on a number of things.

    I'm a pretty big guy. 6'4" and just kind of look like I should be a linebacker or something. Couple this with being hard of hearing, sarcastic and deadpan and sometimes everything aligns just right to make people think I'm either an asshole, crazy, or both. I didn't know this for years. But it's like this:

    A big guy that doesn't really talk a lot unless directly spoken too. Even if you DO directly speak to him, he "ignores" you. Sometimes I think people say something and I don't catch it, so I kind of turn toward them, and if they don't say anything I don't know whether they were talking to me so I just go about my business.

    So you have this guy who's 6'4" and ignoring you. Then you say something....he turns and looks directly at you....says nothing.....and then goes back to what he was doing. Then he later makes a "joke" (that you might not know is a joke since he's deadpan and sarcastic) about destroying something with a hammer because he's angry.

    It doesn't help that often I don't display a wide range of emotions and can be very direct due to my bad hearing. So I have a tendency to walk straight up to people, look down on them intently because I want to hear what they say. Then once they answer I just say "ok, thanks" and go back to what I was doing. Basically, I tend to keep verbal interactions to a minimum because it can be awkward.

    I mean, other times I'm as outgoing and smiling and laughing as much as anyone else. But deadpan and unwavering is sort of my "neutral" state. Not quite like a Vulcan but too far off either. I worked with some people for years and I had no idea they had been afraid of me for a period of time. Other people sometimes just think Im an asshole. And then other times you can get a good conversation going and you hit it off. It just varies quite drastically for me. Even my closest friends introduce me sometimes and say "This is [my name]. He's not a dick, he just can't hear very well."

    Sounds like you and I would excel at making people think we want to kill them and hide them in a shallow grave.
     
    Monopoly, Pugilistic and scorpipede like this.
  15. scorpipede

    scorpipede you do yo thang Baby Smurf

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2007
    Messages:
    25,862
    Likes Received:
    32,181
    <41>
     
    trolololol likes this.
  16. deviake

    deviake NightwingBJJ Belt

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2015
    Messages:
    7,474
    Likes Received:
    7,199
    Location:
    Gold Saucer
    People have thought I was a pushover only to get a sharp reality check when they crossed certain lines.
    Others, that I'm very guarded.

    Others that I'm chill, others that I'm intense, quiet, and many impressions in between, some correct some incorrect.

    It varies.

    I don't really worry about how I come off, as long as whomever isn't getting the wrong impression, and even then, it varies whether I care or not.
     
    scorpipede likes this.
  17. Pugilistic

    Pugilistic Red Belt

    Joined:
    May 14, 2008
    Messages:
    9,599
    Likes Received:
    14,524
    The first impression I get of you is that you are fucking weird
     
  18. Nonsense

    Nonsense Silver Belt

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2009
    Messages:
    11,555
    Likes Received:
    1,766
    Location:
    Sneaking out the back door...
    People think I'm a kindergarten teacher. Like, almost without exception.

    I've decided to take it as a compliment.
     
  19. 5crew

    5crew Black Belt

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2011
    Messages:
    5,146
    Likes Received:
    3,261
    Location:
    Singapore
    First Impression I hope to give: I don't care about you or your stories.

    First Impressions guys have on me: Stupid punk.
    First Impressions chicks have on me: Virgin, blockhead.

    I have had numerous cases where acquaintances whom approached me and asked if I'm angry about something. These usually occurs while I'm walking to to washroom, chilling while my friends are finishing their lunch. I have "angry" face when I'm not smiling or simply when I have no facial expression. Strangers also feels like I'm eyeballing them and have gotten me into alot of troubles when I was a teenager.

    I have female friends that told me I'm blockhead after we met a few times. I usually shrug it off and think to myself, probably because I'm not interested in impressing you.
     
  20. Kardashians

    Kardashians ☆ sitting on the moon ☽

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2015
    Messages:
    13,057
    Likes Received:
    18,829
    Well duh.
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.