First girlfriend thread of 2013

If she is cheating and she actually writes it in her journal and you live together, there's only 2 conclussion. Either your girl is the dumbest girl out there or she's just evil and she wants you to find out and read all the details about how another guy is nailing her instead of telling you. WTF is wrong with people. What happened to the old fashion way of just asking a question to your partner? Its like everyone wants to be a body language expert and read other peoples action instead of just asking question. Nothing worse than a paranoid partner who tries to second guess what you are thinking because they think they are so clever and can read peoples body language
 
you should make a journal and write that you read her journal. Then leave it out and make her as paranoid as you.
 
Girlfriends go through your phone when your not there,check your messages,contacts,etc.Trust me,they ALL do it and want to.

Go and read that ASAP.
 
Steal the notebook and go read it to some nursing home Alzheimer's patients for shits and gigs. Possibly some financial gains to be had as well #yolo.

Have you ever violated your gf's privacy similar to this before? If no, and you actually do go ahead and read her notebook here, just know that you will have forever crossed the threshold of rationalizing away whatever fundamental boundaries once held by you and from which all substantive protection of her relationship privacy intrinsically derived. I know this because this boundary is the only factor preventing you from having already read it. You're hesitating not because you're afraid of what you might find; you might indeed be a little or lot afraid but that's not what's giving you pause. You're anxiety arises because you're not sure whether you want to cross that relationship threshold into an existence governed by fallibilist "reason" over faith in love.

So you can either acknowledge that these boundary/privacy concepts do indeed authentically exist in reality, or; you can effectively prove that whenever you engage in talk or thought of boundaries and privacy, you are merely pandering to your audience by recycling empty words used by everyone to objectively signal a subjectively theoretical privilege "privacy" which is only as good as you allow it to be.

Your behavior establishes and maintains the boundaries that protect her privacy. But you have to ask yourself whether her actual privacy itself precedes your boundaries and behavior. If your honest answer to that is NO, then you are emotionally irrational as it is illogical to feel guilty for reading her notebook since you can't violate that privacy which didn't exist.
 
Don't do it. Just ask what the problem is.
I only read the cliffs.
 
read the fucking journal

what if shes writing out how this guy rails her every other weekend youre not with her, demand anal and dump her my man

or she could just be very faithful, THE TIME TO FIND OUT IS NOW, READ THE FUCKING JOURNAL
 
HillRaiser said:
Doubtful, although I have seen it around before. The last sentence is a pretty ridiculous presumption.
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Not ridiculous at all. I've only ever heard of children keeping journal's.

I'm not trying to be facetious, perhaps the age comment was mischievous but It's a legitimate observation. No hurt intended sir.
 
1) is this the 1st time you suspect your gf of cheating?

2) if the answer is yes, then maybe you have the right to be paranoid. If the answer is no, time to break up. It seems like youll always doubt her.

3) ask your close friends what they think of the situation and how shes acting. Let them observe your guys interaction. Creepy but theyll have better judgment than you on the issue.

3) also if she lives an hour away and youre scared shes cheating now, thats pretty dumb logic. Even if you guys lived 5 minutes away, if she wants to cheat shell find a way. Same on your end. At the end of the day, do you trust her?
 
MMA since 1993 said:
she is probably saying that so that you can believe she won't ever sleep with him. but in reality they more than likely went heels to jesus, more than a few times already when a chick says things are fine, it usually means the opposite.


tl/dr?

cliffs : get ready for a shiny new ipad
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HAHAHA

Closing her eyes when she says, "i love you?"

Stopped reading there.

Drop her like it's hot.
 
Don't worry your relationship is fine.


You didn't get an ipad
 
she's cheating on you, probably with a black guy
 
HillRaiser said:
Ok :( thanks Nonsense.

If it was something shitty I had caught a glance of before I would do it, but for now I'll take her word that we're all good.
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:D You know I'm right, Hilly.

If you are worried about her behaviour, talk to her about it seriously and sober. Tell her that if she is unhappy, it is most fair to tell you now rather than later. That should get her to open up.
 
HillRaiser said:
My suspicions stem from how her eyes look when she tells me she loves me, and how she's been generally less affectionate this weekend that we've been together. Countering that: the sex is fine, she says things are fine, and if they aren't she seems to be playing the part better than I thought she'd be able to.

Now, my dilemma. She's asleep beside me right now and the notebook she writes in is on the floor beside the bed. I glanced in it earlier and caught a caption about another guy, a shitty sort of piece about an old friend of hers who is "really into her" but who disgusts her on every level. I've held back from treating this kid like crap the few times I've met him thus far because he's her oldest friend.

I want to take him out, but even more, I want to read the fucking book.
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Hah, react to her not the book. The book is a melange of thoughts and feelings, ramblings. Nigh incoherence. What you read will not provide the succor you seek.

If she is distant, tacitly test it. If she withdraws, then you know action is needed. Asking her can result in lies (even to spare your feelings), and that journal is no province of yours. Violating it is doubly bad.
 
tkotom said:
Not ridiculous at all. I've only ever heard of children keeping journal's.

I'm not trying to be facetious, perhaps the age comment was mischievous but It's a legitimate observation. No hurt intended sir.
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It's all good mang. I'm not hurt, I just don't think it's very good reasoning.

She keeps a journal for her academic notes as she's pretty much reading something at every point in the day.

highkicknomore said:
1) is this the 1st time you suspect your gf of cheating?

2) if the answer is yes, then maybe you have the right to be paranoid. If the answer is no, time to break up. It seems like youll always doubt her.

3) ask your close friends what they think of the situation and how shes acting. Let them observe your guys interaction. Creepy but theyll have better judgment than you on the issue.

3) also if she lives an hour away and youre scared shes cheating now, thats pretty dumb logic. Even if you guys lived 5 minutes away, if she wants to cheat shell find a way. Same on your end. At the end of the day, do you trust her?
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I don't suspect her of cheating so much as I'm afraid her feelings for me are lessening. More on this in a bit. The insecurity on my part stems more from not being able to spend as much time together as we used to, as a result of the distance between us.

But you do bring up a good point with number 3.

highcshot said:
HAHAHA

Closing her eyes when she says, "i love you?"

Stopped reading there.

Drop her like it's hot.
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Not closing her eyes, but kind of diverting them. Something that would make me lol if I read it in one of these threads but I'm sort of in paranoid mode.

Nonsense said:
:D You know I'm right, Hilly.

If you are worried about her behaviour, talk to her about it seriously and sober. Tell her that if she is unhappy, it is most fair to tell you now rather than later. That should get her to open up.
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I know, I was kind of hoping you'd comment when I was scanning through the people who were online last night. Thank you Big Brother Sherdog.

I feel I've done all I can and that she's holding back information that is pertinent to our relationship. Although I respect that she might still be working things out, I don't feel like it's fair to be kept at an emotional distance. I'm just concerned that I'm only imagining things.
 
I dun goofed folks, I scanned through the book this morning when she was in the shower.

Actually there wasn't as much personal writing as I was expecting, only two short articles including the one I'd already seen about the other guy.

She seems to be having trouble getting close to people. When she wrote about the other guy she mentioned that he was nice and that he had told her he likes her, but that she's repulsed by him and not sure why that is. Sort of concerning was her saying that she should go on a date with him if she was single, but that she probably couldn't bring herself even to do that.

The second article was again about how she feels like she's having trouble connecting with people. She said that she was surprised her "emotional numbness" had lasted this long, which is something I know she started feeling when we broke up around this time last year. Fuck.

So nothing devastating, but still things to be concerned about. I do feel kind of guilty though.
 
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Read it and if she asks just tell her Didn't Read LOL
 
Three Gun Fish said:
Hah, react to her not the book. The book is a melange of thoughts and feelings, ramblings. Nigh incoherence. What you read will not provide the succor you seek.

If she is distant, tacitly test it. If she withdraws, then you know action is needed. Asking her can result in lies (even to spare your feelings), and that journal is no province of yours. Violating it is doubly bad.
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This is actually great advice, but I don't regret reading the book despite my guilt. I'm not going to take what she wrote too seriously unless in manifests further in her behaviour. I know a lot of the times when I'm writing I'm exploring certain thought patterns that don't have a strong bearing on reality or how I'd really act. I expect that she writes this way too. I can also guarantee that documents I have saved on my computer would make her really unhappy, despite them being mostly meaningless.

Still it's a little jarring, and something to keep in the back of my mind as I move forward.

Great language in that post btw. I've got to get to work on my vocabulary.
 
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