Rjkd12 said:
That is awesome chad. I sometimes wish I lived in a more rural area so I could have things like tires and telephone poles in my backyard.
Not to hijack, but stealing stop signs is a bad idea. If someone doesn't stop and gets killed or injured in an accident and they find out who took it you are in big trouble. If someone dies you can get in trouble for manslaughter. I took a few signs at college, but stayed away from those.
Actually, I realized I got the story wrong. He took the stop sign from somewhere else (I know it's not the best idea, but in many places around where we live, street signs are still something of a formality). I think they might have put that one back. I have no idea where it went. It's not in their backyard anymore.
No, wait, this is the story. This is great. I can't believe I screwed it up.
One night my little brother's roommate Chris comes home. This guy is a bio major, the #1 student in his class at Chico State. He studies hard. He also plays hard. My little brother was playing Halo, about to go to bed, he had some committment early the next morning. Chris stops at the door and says hi. Cam turns, sees the beer in his hand, and says, "Ah, you're drinking?"
Chris says, "Yeah, you are too."
Cam sort of squints quizzically, "No I'm not."
"Yes you are."
"No, dude, I have (some shit in the morning)."
"That's gonna suck with a hangover."
Having successfully peer pressured my brother into drinking, Chris asks, "Wanna do something stupid?"
"YES."
So they brainstorm. Here's where you need a touch of backstory. They live on a residential street that outlies most of the town, yet this short, residential street sees a ton of traffic simply because it's the shortest route connecting two more heavily trafficked areas of the town. There are several speed bumps on this road, yet people still wanna rip down it at 50 mph. This has always pissed all of us off. We actually love it when someone damages their vehicle. One time this dumb teenager tried to rev his Audi or whatever down this street at 2AM. We were in the house and it sounded like an explosion. He had ripped off that fancy bumper guys like to deck out their cars with, I don't know what it's called. He was hysterical right at the end of our driveway, and we were pointing and laughing at him and his friends.
So Chris asks Cameron, "Wanna steal the speed bump sign?" I admit it, this is sheer spite. And youthful mischievousness. But they thought it was hilarious. They laugh to themselves at their evil little plan: without the sign, people are in for some rude driving.
Now, these guys were smashed. Cam said they downed something like half a handle together. But they're running and laughing down their street gearing for the sign. They uproot it, and Cam shoulders it and starts to sprint to safety. Probably 200 yards. But he's laughing uncontrollably now thinking about what he's done.
He's telling me this, and he says, "Man, I was so gone from the booze and hysterical that I had this sign on my shoulder that says, 'Warning: Speed Bumps' that I forget there's fucking speed bumps on the street, right? On my own goddamn street. Suddenly I catch one with my toe at a dead sprint and next thing I know I faceplant the concrete."
He had to get seven stitches. Because he couldn't remember, despite carrying a sign that says speed bump right there on it, in bold letters, a sign he had stolen in order that people wouldn't know there were speed bumps on the street and forget to monitor their speed, and he forgets to monitor his, and he ends up with a cut so deep we had to patch on gauze to his chin like we were putting a diaper on a baby.
Irony or karma, you decide.
