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Fear of winning...

Discussion in 'Mayberry Lounge' started by Cash Bill 52, Aug 6, 2018.

  1. Cash Bill 52 Brown Belt

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    Fear of winning

    The fear of losing is very common. I certainly don’t want to disappoint my teammates, my students, or my friends and family. But, did you ever have a fear of winning? If you win there is this expectation that you will have to “do something” with your victory. It might be compared to a fear of falling in love or fear of success. I know a lot of jiu Jitsu guys who are afraid to get promoted to the next belt. All these accomplishments come with responsibility. A victory could bring you fame when what you really want is anonymity.

    TLDR - This is a subtle or humble brag.

    Also, I really crave situations where I’m a little fearful. It’s the only opportunity for me to be brave and courageous. Those are the qualities I admire.
     
  2. Clippy Good Times

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  3. Cash Bill 52 Brown Belt

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    Lol.. that’s not the kind of winning I was talking about, but thanks for the laugh!
     
  4. Ron Mexico Red Belt

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    Don’t forget the Tiger Blood with all that winning
     
  5. nostradumbass Yellow Card Yellow Card

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    Fear of success is fear of failure. It's the fear of added responsibility or higher competition and the feeling you might not be able to handle it. A fall from 100 ft is a lot worse than a fall from 5 ft.
     
  6. Cash Bill 52 Brown Belt

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    Lol, I won’t.
     
  7. loyalyolayal Banned Banned

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    You get a target in your back in the gym once you get promoted. AND when you visit people from other gyms, guys of lower rank spars like it's mundials final. I say that having experienced being both the target and the guy who defends his gym's "honor" against visitors. LMAO!
     
  8. Cash Bill 52 Brown Belt

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    That makes sense. I’ve been a competitor most of my life. I’ve won a few big tournaments and I’m happy about it. In other areas, I am becoming less competitive. I’ve been playing poker with the same group for over twenty years. I used to love winning as much as I could. These days I’m happier if I just win or even lose a little.
     
  9. Fedorgasm Gold Belt

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    My dad has this.

    Every time something starts working out really well for him, he does something really dumb to screw it up. But he's not a dumb guy at all.

    Jobs, relationships, financial opportunities, it's like he subconsciously gets nervous when things are going well and can't take it. It's a shame, like he's destined to be a loser because of some kind of psychological issue he has.
     
  10. Cash Bill 52 Brown Belt

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    I used to feel that way. Especially at purple belt. Everyone was gunning for me.
    Now, I’m good. I walk in with my black belt while vacationing and I’m not worried about “losing.”
     
  11. plataoplombo Purple Belt

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    When I was younger I had a few chances where something great could happen but internally a was afraid of succeeding. Don't know why or how to explain it other than my body trying to pump the brakes. Now that I'm older there are no fucks given cause I'm tired of working. Never had a fear of loosing though, it was almost relieving at times.
     
  12. Cash Bill 52 Brown Belt

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    I’ve known people that freak out when things are going well. They tend to sel sabotage themselves.
     
  13. Khabibs Tiramisu TLJ IS DOGSHIT. OH HI MARK!

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    I was afraid of winning in life, so i chose to be a Sherdogger.
     
  14. Oblivian Aging Platinum Member

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    IMO, fear of failure and fear of winning all boil down to the fear of the unknown or fear of change. I deal with this a lot in business. You'd be amazed how many people do not want a promotion or to take on more responsibility. A lot of people just want to find a comfortable spot and cruise along.
     
  15. nostradumbass Yellow Card Yellow Card

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    When it comes to career, a lot of people love to talk a ton of shit about how easy their boss has it and doesn't deserve more money and how they'd do a much better job if it were them, but they sure as hell don't want to prove it. I saw a thread in UFC forum saying "literally anybody could do Dana's easy ass job so why is he getting so much money?". The guy seemed ignore all the other promotions that have collapsed or never got nearly as big. Shit talking is much easier and more comfortable than backing it up.

    There's also a thing in general where people find a comfortable spot for themselves in mediocrity and will sabotage themselves out of fear of added responsibility. This happens a lot in relationships. They often want a take back after, but they'd just do the same thing again if they got one.
     
  16. Cash Bill 52 Brown Belt

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    Yep, I know people who downplay their accomplishments so they won’t be asked to do more.
     
  17. Cash Bill 52 Brown Belt

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    Yes, I have become more of a minimalist as of late. I am very comfortable in my small apartment and my 13 year old car. It might seem like a mediocre life to some, but I’m happy. I want to win at making the world a better place. The typical markers for success aren’t that appealing to me.
    I’m still working my butt off and doing lots of “winning.” It just doesn’t show up in an easily defined assessment.
     
  18. n...not crazy Silver Belt

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    Imagine being this guy.

    [​IMG]

    It amazes me how he continues to put himself in these high level competitive situations. He's started 8 freaking Super Bowls. He's constantly in the spotlight, and has had more success than any NFL player ever. He's 41, the weight of the world still sits on his shoulders, and he continues to accept it.

    Meanwhile other greats QBs end their careers with, at best, half of the Super Bowl appearances of his. He has a trash talking license that nobody else has ever had, but he never does it. He just plays nice.

    I honestly can't imagine the stress of being this guy. You know he's gonna be in another Championship game this season, with a world of burden on his shoulders. I don't know where he finds the energy.
     
  19. Cash Bill 52 Brown Belt

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    Yep, there is nowhere else for him to go but down. I hope he’s finding hobbies for him to be a beginner. I enjoy dancing, but I have no desire to compete. Part of me doesn’t even want to get that good because the pressure to compete will be too great.
    I want to do things for the pure enjoyment.
     
  20. RetiredSlave Red Belt

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    I used to think I had a fear of success, turns out I was just a loser.

    Doing well these days though, did a decent job of correcting the path though its ongoing.
     

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