Fathers with daughters and the losers who love them

[Banchan]

First thread that isnt about hypothetical sluttiness . n.n

As men and as fathers i think you are the most capable group to voice your opinion . At what point is a man really a loser ? Women tend to throw this designation around mericilessly when they dont like someone for even the smallest reason such as being short fat ugly unpopular poor . But what would really upset you in the choices your daughter makes in men barring the most obvious drug user violent or criminal ? At what point should a mans earning capacity social skills decision making ability and personally really be a problem or very undesirable in your opinion ?

Im kind of expecting the standard " as long as he treats her well " but what if he doesn't able to keep a job ? Do you really want to bar to aim so low as only his being nice to her is enough for your little girl ? Should men have accomplished certain goals by certain ages ? What if hes nice but hes 30 and has no savings no house no car ? Surely being nice to her is not really enough if we are being truthful .

 

[loyalyolayal]

Only Christian-European royalty that can bench teh 275 can marry my daughter.

 

[Daveb]

As a father I want my daughter to use her earning potential on a rich man before she is 30. As women have little value post 30 she needs to lock up that money early

 

[Zax0r]

If the dudes cool and hooks me up with free shit, he's all good in my book.

 

[Smashandgrab]

Asian people have a weird way of monetizing love.

 

[ehtheist]

If the dudes cool and hooks me up with free shit, he's all good in my book.

Well, you've already hooked him up with his next few hundred tumbles in the hay, so you've kind of already paid him for the "free" stuff.

 

[Misfit23]

bench teh 275 or he's a loser

 

[shanegotu11]

I have a son but anyone they love whose respectful and loving and caring.

 

[Zax0r]

Well, you've already hooked him up with his next few hundred tumbles in the hay, so you've kind of already paid him for the "free" stuff.

As long as I still don't have to do anything, I'm still good.

If my daughter is really smoking hot though and the guy is ugly. I might have some problems.

 

[BAM]

Asian people have a weird way of monetizing love.

this Canadian-Chinese girl I know said that her parents set up an arranged marriage and that business contracts are contingent on their marriage. She said that if she backs out her family will disown her for losing "face". She's mid-20's.

 

[The Clamburglar]

I would teach my daughter to be 100% self-sufficient so that she is free to date whoever she wants based on merit of personality, free from the chains of societal constructs and materialism. But that is just me.

 

[Banchan]

I know this is kind of a difficult question because you may have been subject to the loser designation for something at one point in your life but now as having daughters and having once been in the role of chasing after other peoples daughters you probably know what both sides of the coin are like and maybe have a fair assessment of when someone truly deserves to be deemed unworthy or a bad choice .

So far in my life the things i look out for is if a guy cant keep a job , excessive spending living paycheck to paycheck from buying too many toys and frequent depression .

 

[Smashandgrab]

this Canadian-Chinese girl I know said that her parents set up an arranged marriage and that business contracts are contingent on their marriage. She said that if she backs out her family will disown her for losing "face". She's mid-20's.

Sounds romantic

 

[Banchan]

I would teach my daughter to be 100% self-sufficient so that she is free to date whoever she wants based on merit of personality, free from the chains of societal constructs and materialism. But that is just me.

You understand that if this guy has debts or aquires debts later or spends her money then she will be in debt too . So its important to try and find someone with near earning capability or someone who saves very well or lives minimally to where finances some how even out .

Like why am i telling you this ? Shouldnt you be telling me this ? I assume youre not actually a parent .

 

[NHB7]

Other than the actual criminal/abusive type, I wouldn't be too worried about the guy being a loser until she is a young adult. In fact, I'd want her to date a loser or two when she is young so she can better recognize them and filter them out when she is older. I think few things are probably harder than seeing your daughter date a terrible human as an adult and knowing there is little you can do to help them.

 

[BAM]

Sounds romantic

apparently he cheated on her and she feels trapped. I told her to just break it off and deal with the consequences as her family sounds worthless. she didn't take my advice and is miserable, can't say you weren't told.

 

[Smashandgrab]

apparently he cheated on her and she feels trapped. I told her to just break it off and deal with the consequences as her family sounds worthless. she didn't take my advice and is miserable, can't say you weren't told.

Of course she's miserable. Money is a horrible foundation on which to build a marriage. I wouldn't go as far as to say materialistic people like that deserve to marinate in their misery but....kinda.

 

[Banchan]

this Canadian-Chinese girl I know said that her parents set up an arranged marriage and that business contracts are contingent on their marriage. She said that if she backs out her family will disown her for losing "face". She's mid-20's.

I dont think this is true anymore . What usually happens is they know someone who has an eligble son or daughter they think would be good for your son or daughter and either they will nag you until you give in to go hang out with them or they unexpectedly invited to your house / restaurant /gathering / event and you just happened to be introduced .

 

[n...not crazy]

Kind of hoping my daughters are gay. In any case I don't want to think about this. Thanks a lot.

 

[Phlog]

First thread that isnt about hypothetical sluttiness . n.n

As men and as fathers i think you are the most capable group to voice your opinion . At what point is a man really a loser ? Women tend to throw this designation around mericilessly when they dont like someone for even the smallest reason such as being short fat ugly unpopular poor . But what would really upset you in the choices your daughter makes in men barring the most obvious drug user violent or criminal ? At what point should a mans earning capacity social skills decision making ability and personally really be a problem or very undesirable in your opinion ?

Im kind of expecting the standard " as long as he treats her well " but what if he doesn't able to keep a job ? Do you really want to bar to aim so low as only his being nice to her is enough for your little girl ? Should men have accomplished certain goals by certain ages ? What if hes nice but hes 30 and has no savings no house no car ? Surely being nice to her is not really enough if we are being truthful .

If his word is his bond, we're good.

Weakness of will denotes a loser imo.

If daughters marry men like their fathers I am destined to have at the very best a grudging respect for them for I've little chance to like them.