Father's Day for the fatherless.

[Nonsense]

Maybe I'm too late in the day for this.

Does anyone else get a little down on Father's Day?

My husband is an amazing father and I celebrate him, but my own father was a failure in ever way a father can be. I try not to be angry, bitter and regretful, and I try oh so hard not to imagine what kind of person I would be if I had had a decent man as a father, but when Father's Day rolls around and there are commercials about fathers being role models and inspirations and blah blah blah it's hard not to dwell.

Anyone else?

 

[Terror Zone]

You should tell your dad thanks for nuttin'.

 

[loyalyolayal]

my pretend wife told me that im a terrific dad to our pretend kids.

 

[Nonsense]

You should tell your dad thanks for nuttin'.

Well, I sent him a Christmas card this past year as my first act of communicating with him in nearly a decade. I even let him know he had a granddaughter. I thought I was being the much much MUCH bigger person and that he would be thrilled for my implicit forgiveness but he did not so much as reply.

 

[odog]

My father was also a failure, but to be honest, I don't really think about it too much. He was who he was and I don't miss him.

 

[facePuncher7]

Absent father, abusive step father, lots of siblings, single mother etc.
I'm surprisingly stable given the situation, though far from perfect, however this day does get to me.

If it isn't a day to celebrate how great your father was/is, then maybe consider it a day just to acknowledge him and go out of your way to try and mend the broken relationship.

 

[Loiosh]

I try oh so hard not to imagine what kind of person I would be if I had had a decent man as a father

Although I don't know you all that well, nothing that I do know would suggest you're the type to dwell on what could have been.

You seem well adjusted with a successful career and a happy family.

 

[Cool Hand Luke]

You made the first step towards reconciliation Nonsense, don't let it be your last even if he doesn't respond.

 

[irish_thug]

I can relate. I haven't spoken to my father in 17 years, before that i saw him a couple of times a year. I honestly don't even know if he's alive (I'm fairly sure I would have heard something if he wasn't). My wife is always telling me I need to try and get in touch with him and tell him he's a grandfather, and at least give him the opportunity to be involved in their lives. It's weird for me though, I don't hate him, I don't begrudge him anything, I'm just indifferent.

 

[facePuncher7]

I can relate. I haven't spoken to my father in 17 years, before that i saw him a couple of times a year. I honestly don't even know if he's alive (I'm fairly sure I would have heard something if he wasn't). My wife is always telling me I need to try and get in touch with him and tell him he's a grandfather, and at least give him the opportunity to be involved in their lives. It's weird for me though, I don't hate him, I don't begrudge him anything, I'm just indifferent.

Sadly, as I've seen in the past, this situation usually ends with a great deal of regret when the father passes.
It's one of those "dont know what you've got til its gone" situations.

 

[Terror Zone]

Well, I sent him a Christmas card this past year as my first act of communicating with him in nearly a decade. I even let him know he had a granddaughter. I thought I was being the much much MUCH bigger person and that he would be thrilled for my implicit forgiveness but he did not so much as reply.

I was actually making a bad joke (nuttin/nothin... my dad didn't get it either when I made it after telling him happy father's day, lol).

Seriously though, that sucks. You seem to be doing very well for yourself though, it's his loss.

 

[irish_thug]

Sadly, as I've seen in the past, this situation usually ends with a great deal of regret when the father passes.
It's one of those "dont know what you've got til its gone" situations.

I've considered that. I'm really of two minds on the whole situation. Part of me agrees with my wife and thinks about extending the olive branch. But then the jaded cynic in me thinks do my kids really need someone in their life that that they try to love that won't give a shit about them? I really don't know what to do. The older I get the more I think I understand my father, which makes me even more upset about the situation.

 

[johnyboy]

You made the first step towards reconciliation Nonsense, don't let it be your last even if he doesn't respond.

Why? Why should she man.

I think it may be easier for me to see parents as real people because of not having a father. I think most people with dads would think of the relationship they have and say just try to get along you are family. Sadly family does not mean everything truth is your parents are people and some people suck and you should not have them in your life.

 

[johnyboy]

I can relate. I haven't spoken to my father in 17 years, before that i saw him a couple of times a year. I honestly don't even know if he's alive (I'm fairly sure I would have heard something if he wasn't). My wife is always telling me I need to try and get in touch with him and tell him he's a grandfather, and at least give him the opportunity to be involved in their lives. It's weird for me though, I don't hate him, I don't begrudge him anything, I'm just indifferent.

Pretty much In this exact situation. Only difference being my father is friends with my wife's parents so he sometimes asks to go over to there house to visit with my daughter when I am not there.

Then everyone loves to tell me how great it is he is trying to be in her life.

 

[irish_thug]

Pretty much In this exact situation. Only difference being my father is friends with my wife's parents so he sometimes asks to go over to there house to visit with my daughter when I am not there.

Then everyone loves to tell me how great it is he is trying to be in her life.

Wow, that hurt to read. I'm sorry to hear that.

 

[Martialarts101]

My father was also a failure, but to be honest, I don't really think about it too much. He was who he was and I don't miss him.

Same here. Its tricky growing up as a boy/young man without the guidance of a father, although I probably became a better man today because he wasn't around. He wants to have a relationship these days, but I have no interest nor any need for it.

Dreadlock666

Absent father, abusive step father, lots of siblings, single mother etc.
I'm surprisingly stable given the situation, though far from perfect, however this day does get to me.

Take fathers day to pat yourself on the back for turning out pretty well, I know quite a few people from broken families who ended up quite different. I don't know if you have any children yourself , but if I can give some advice its good to have friends with stable families and try to learn from how they cope with problems, how they keep their kids on the right track(etc) if you plan to start a family in the future.

 

[odog]

Just remembered something. Years back my father randomly showed up at my house. Had no idea why. I talked to him for a few minutes then told him I was busy. I realized later that it was Father's Day. He also showed up once on his birthday. I didn't figure that one out until weeks later.

 

[chunglii]

Maybe I'm too late in the day for this.

Does anyone else get a little down on Father's Day?

My husband is an amazing father and I celebrate him, but my own father was a failure in ever way a father can be. I try not to be angry, bitter and regretful, and I try oh so hard not to imagine what kind of person I would be if I had had a decent man as a father, but when Father's Day rolls around and there are commercials about fathers being role models and inspirations and blah blah blah it's hard not to dwell.

Anyone else?

I know what you feel. I haven't spoken to my father or seen him in a long time, by my own choosing.

 

[Martialarts101]

Why? Why should she man.

I think it may be easier for me to see parents as real people because of not having a father. I think most people with dads would think of the relationship they have and say just try to get along you are family. Sadly family does not mean everything truth is your parents are people and some people suck and you should not have them in your life.

Every child needs a mother and a father, but I get your point. It amazes me how thirty plus year old men or women are not able to behave like adults, despite being relatively intelligent.

 

[Martialarts101]

Just remembered something. Years back my father randomly showed up at my house. Had no idea why. I talked to him for a few minutes then told him I was busy. I realized later that it was Father's Day. He also showed up once on his birthday. I didn't figure that one out until weeks later.

Playing "daddy" once a year(some years)