So, first of all, you should probably ignore this post. I'm drunk and rambling on like a fool. It's really not worth your time, and you probably don't give a fuck anyways. I don't know why I'm even posting here anyways, other than the fact that this is the forum I happen to post on the most frequently, and that's just because I used to give a shit about MMA (nowadays I just occasionally read the highlights). Anyways, I've come to the conclusion that there are no real rock bottoms in life. I thought that I'd hit one when I got disqualified from my job in the navy after I started having panic attacks all the time, but I broke right thorugh that and kept falling. I thought that I hit rock bottom when my mom died after I quit college to take care of her in hospice, but I broke through that and kept falling. I thought that I hit rock bottom when I got hit by a car, broke my ankle, lost my job, and became homeless, but I broke through and kept falling. I thought that I bounced off of the the rock bottom when my best friend ODd and I started to piece my life back together again, but I wound up falling right back down even further. I'm still in freefall, and I feel like I'll just crash through any new rock bottom I find. Just realize that you're never too broke to break. I feel like the only reason I go on living at this point is just out of spite. Like Faulkner said, "between grief and nothing, I chose grief". Whatever. This post is bullshit, and I'll probably ask that it be deleted once I've sobered up (as it should be). I'm sure you don't give a fuck. It's just a combination of bad choices, bad luck, and bad karma. I'm just making this post because it seems better than screaming my lungs out like I want to do.