Fuck your chief. I know exactly the type of guy you're talking about. I have them too. I also know where you're coming from with the depression concerns. I didn't know I had a problem until I completely broke, for the first time in my life, in front of my kid's 5th grade career day class. The entire presentation I did was absolutely perfect, and I had time for one more question. A girl asked me if I'd ever seen one of my co-workers get hurt. I started telling a story and when I tell you that about 5 seconds into it I knew this was a bad idea, I'm not exaggerating. I made it another 5 seconds and it let loose. I cried like I never cried before and tried to push through the story. I was so fucking embarrassed for myself, and my son. The funny part was that in this story, the injury wasn't terrible, but having to replay the radio transmissions in my head while explaining what happened is what sent me over the edge. The broken up calls for help, the sound of a struggle, and radio silence still makes me emotional, yet it is and was more than just that one call. I've never told anyone at work this happened to me, nor have I sought help. And I won't - for the reasons you spoke of. I just realized at that point that I've drastically changed. Best of luck with the operation today.