Ex GF keeps contact after break up

EL CORINTHIAN

EL CORINTHIAN

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So i recently broke up with my girl friend of two years about a month or so ago and in one way or another she's keeping contact. Some things are harmless and others are just plain odd to me. Personally i cannot be friends with an ex, im not interested in maintaining some sort of relationship after a break up so i usually try to completely disconnect and she knows how i am about this (i was pretty vocal about it through out the relationship).

After the first two weeks i got all her clothes out of my closet and into a bag and gave it to a mutual friend of ours to return it to her but i foolishly/accidentally placed a shirt of mine in there with it so when she saw this she immediately texted me and told me she would come and return it to me at my place. I told her to simply give it back to our mutual friend but she insisted on coming to my place. To spare you some details she sorta broke down when she came to my place saying she didn't mean to hurt me and the other usual emotionally charged statements. Fast foward 3 weeks later she texts me again asking if she can "borrow" one of my luggage's so she can go on some trip with her friend and it really started to bother me because although im good with breakups, this intermittent contact bullshit is really messing with me. I kept it as short as possible and told her to take it and just keep it and to not bother returning it. If i agree to let her borrow it i basically sign myself for another awkward meeting. She comes to my place in her car, doesn't even get out of it so i come outside, open the passenger door, stuff it in there and as she says thank you i just closed the door and walked away. In between this time she has liked a few of my instagram posts aswell.

Anyways i guess i should wrap this up with a point. Firstly, we didn't end on bad terms at all, i love the girl dearly and she loves me but the relationship simply ran past its expiration date and sometimes you just have to walk away. Secondly, Im not really looking for some sort of hope that she will return to me but it is getting annoying and i guess im just here trying to find peoples opinion on the matter. Some of my freinds said she just wants a reason to see me again, some have said she wants to make sure im ok....either way i have no idea wtf is going on.

Oh and a question: Can you guys remain friends with an Ex? Again, i absolutely cannot, it's in the past for me.
 
If you feel uncomfortable then don't even bother. You can meet and bang at your own risk, but I don't think it's worth it tbh
 
Papawash said:
If you feel uncomfortable then don't even bother. You can meet and bang at your own risk, but I don't think it's worth it tbh
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Yea me neither. I felt like telling her to stop contacting me next time it happens. I just need her to know there are boundaries i don't want crossed. Like we are not buddies that simply borrow shit from one another.
 
You're right TS. It's in the past.



Now post pics for...posterity.
 
If it didn't end badly what makes you feel the relationship ran its course?

Relationships take a lot of work on both parties to keep them alive and fresh. I take my wife out to do something every weekend.
 
You are how you are, and you have the right to be. If you don't want to stay friends then cut ties. Don't think too much.
 
be subtle,tell her she's a crazy stalking nut job and to fuck off.
 
No , as a matter of principle , i also never maintain friendship with any of my exs. But i think they never miss me either so....
I consider you luckier then me cause at least she is missing you .... so your probably a better guy then me.
Her atempts seem rather warmless , nothing crazy ... im sure that if you maintain your distance her feelings for you will eventualy gradualy fade away.
I just dont get why , if you love her and aparently she loves you more then you do her , why dont you try to make it work ?
 
EL CORINTHIAN said:
I just need her to know there are boundaries i don't want crossed. Like we are not buddies that simply borrow shit from one another.
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It's pretty hard to treat her as a "buddy" when you were eating each other's butthole a few months ago, man.
 
end communication with her. it sounds like she wants to keep the emotional aspect of the relationship going, without the sex. a lot of women are either naive as hell, or more likely, know what they're doing and try to keep the good aspects of a past relationship, before they find another guy to start a relationship with, then completely drop you. women are extremely greedy and think only of themselves when it comes to relationships. it had to be said.
 
Well as you said you let her know this fact throughout the relationship so she really should respect it. I'm the same but most of my ex GFs still think they can call me out of the blue.
 
Papawash said:
It's pretty hard to treat her as a "buddy" when you were eating each other's butthole a few months ago, man.
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I do like eating butthole.

IIIIIIII said:
end communication with her. it sounds like she wants to keep the emotional aspect of the relationship going, without the sex. a lot of women are either naive as hell, or more likely, know what they're doing and try to keep the good aspects of a past relationship, before they find another guy to start a relationship with, then completely drop you. women are extremely greedy and think only of themselves when it comes to relationships. it had to be said.
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Yea you're right about that. I know how this goes i have been hurt many times before and i have experienced this process before. She's the only one i was that i kept on my instagram/facebook. Though she wouldn't abuse it but shes younger and a bit more innocent than the other girls i have been with.

Fadeless said:
No , as a matter of principle , i also never maintain friendship with any of my exs. But i think they never miss me either so....
I consider you luckier then me cause at least she is missing you .... so your probably a better guy then me.
Her atempts seem rather warmless , nothing crazy ... im sure that if you maintain your distance her feelings for you will eventualy gradualy fade away.
I just dont get why , if you love her and aparently she loves you more then you do her , why dont you try to make it work ?
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The shortest possible story is that we were in the process of working through it but she wanted to cut it off herself. Although the feeling was mutual because i was about to break up with her the month before. Sometimes love isn't enough and shes younger than me aswell. I didnt want to waste her time, she has things to see and friends/boyfreinds and other people to meet. I lost alot of time because of my upbringing (abandoned by my father) and it would kill me to keep chasing if all i saw was a dead end. Shes a good girl and i want her to be as happy as possible and if it means i should walk away than it's what has to be done.
 
There's no way I would keep in contact with an ex if I knew it would never work out between us.
 
Here is how you get her to stop. You contact her. Tell her you need something of hers or just want to hang out. She only wants to keep contact with you because you don't that is how women's fucked ho minds work. Either that, or she wants to fuck with you by very visibly banging some other dude, and then tell you about it.
 
Soda Popinsky said:
Here is how you get her to stop. You contact her. Tell her you need something of hers or just want to hang out. She only wants to keep contact with you because you don't that is how women's fucked ho minds work. Either that, or she wants to fuck with you by very visibly banging some other dude, and then tell you about it.
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I have insurance in that case. She knows im a seasoned milf hunter, all my ex's know not to fuck with me like that because i will bang their moms.
 
next time she comes by, make sure you got this playing on your boom box

 
EL CORINTHIAN said:
I have insurance in that case. She knows im a seasoned milf hunter, all my ex's know not to fuck with me like that because i will bang their moms.
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Excellent. Yeah, then she just wants your attention because she knows she can't have it.
 
EL CORINTHIAN said:
The shortest possible story is that we were in the process of working through it but she wanted to cut it off herself. Although the feeling was mutual because i was about to break up with her the month before. Sometimes love isn't enough and shes younger than me aswell. I didnt want to waste her time, she has things to see and friends/boyfreinds and other people to meet. I lost alot of time because of my upbringing (abandoned by my father) and it would kill me to keep chasing if all i saw was a dead end. Shes a good girl and i want her to be as happy as possible and if it means i should walk away than it's what has to be done.
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If she was the one that wanted to cut it off then that would seal it for as well.
Allthough theres still the possibility that because she is younger then you , that she could be afraid of a serious commitment and just wants to have more fun before she does commit. Or maybe she was just testing your feelings for her.
If your mind is made up , then imo , you should just tell her what it is. next time she tries to contact you.
Be honest , direct and try not to hurt her feelings much.
Good luck
 
i dont talk to any of my exes. my most recent one (we dated for 3 years) believes in trying to be friends, i however have no desire to be. We caused each other a shit ton of pain and she cheated and lied me me dozens of times, it was toxic.

She occasionally contacts me and i really don't like it .
 
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