Does having kids kill all your personal ambitions?

Been thinking about this one a bit recently, especially after seeing Mike Tyson's video were he says his titles are "garbage" and all he cares about is seeing his kid's happy.

That's a great and mature sentiment, but it's actually a bit disconcerting. I'd rather not have my brain chemistry change to the point that it ignores all of my own goals or achievements or ambitions in favor of someone else, even if it is my kid. I'd like to have a child and raise them and help grow one day, but not if it means my brain will hit some sort-of "suicide switch" like that. Or, if it does, I would want to wait until much later in life.

I'd be a lot less concerned about this if Tyson had said the belts are still nice to him, but he also cares about his kids, rather than tossing them off completely and calling them nothing. Material things like that aren't everything, but making a better life for your family, reaching your potential, and achieving excellence in your career aren't "nothing," IMO. You should take pride in it and there's a part of me that's wary of any experience that might make you lose that.

 

Nah, but it sure eats a lot of time though.

 

I don't have kids, but I imagine if you are going to take on that responsibility of raising another human being into the world that sacrifice is a mandatory thing.

That's why kids grow up shitty, because their parents were not ready to accept their life is now the kids' life.

Really, you can't have both.
If you're not ready to go full parent, don't.

 

No. Having kids is far more gratifying than any personal ambitions.

Having kids is a joy that no personal ambition could ever acheive.

But having kids is also like climbing Mount Everest. In hindsite it is an amazing accomplishment raising kids and is a joy, but the journey itself is exhausting.

 

I have a friend who was basically raised by nanny's because his parents were so focused on their careers. Needless to say he is a little F'd up.

 

If you're a professional baby mama, not at all

 

I'd say there are too many parents who make their life completely about their child(ren) and it causes issues in their marriage and with the child's development. Then theirs parents who neglect there responsibilities as parents and that causes issues as well. As with everything it's a balancing act, you gotta be somewhere in the middle, too far left or right and it's gonna get messy.

On a side note I read this quote, "The best gift any father can give his daughter is to love and honor her mother." I think that's actually a very true and deep statement and works for sons as well.

 

You mean eats a lot of years?

 

I don't have kids myself, but I would think that it puts things to a different perspective.

 

just let your woman do the dirty job while you continue your life plan

having a baby is a selfrealization for most normal women so she should not mind,

if she does tell her to stfu and to go and change the diaper

Spoiler

 

Kids are awesome -it's like a daily acid trip with hugs and kisses.

It should make you more motivated -you have purpose suddenly.

 

You and baby mama need to decide how this will be handled prior to having the rugrat. I work two jobs while my wife is a stay at home mom, you can choose day care and both parents can work. Just remember, kids need time with their parents, you don't want other people raising your kids or worse, ignore them. You'll have an awkward and distant relationship later in life and you'll regret it.

 

I have had a 3 year old for a little over a week (soon to be step daughter, just bought a house with her mom), and I can already see how parents rely so heavily on TV and video games to raise their kids for them. It's easy to be judgmental when you don't have kids and I'm not saying I plan to raise my kids that way... but it's just so easy to sit them in front of the TV for some peace and quiet, it's a little scary.

 

winner,I dont ever want to have kids.

 

You can have ambition and goals while you have kids. In fact, pursuing your ambitions and goals while raising your kids is a good way of setting a positive example for them.

 

I think having kids showed me how my personal ambitions were flawed. It does kill some, but it also adds other. It's worth it, imo.

 

This is true. Especialy when both parents have jobs and also have to handle responsibilities around the house. Its not intentional, you just need time to do things that need done.

 

As a father of three I think I have some perspective. Firstly, and this is general advice, take anyone who speaks in absolutes with many grains of salt. I find speaking in absolutes is usually some for of rhetorical deficiency, a laziness or inability to express oneself with nuance. Tyson may say that titles are garbage to him but don't believe it. I'm pretty confident in assuming he means his kids are so much more important to him that titles are like garbage in comparison.

Which brings me to my second point. Having kids didn't make me value my goals less but the reality is that they become so much more important than anything that has ever entered your consciousness. Your goals will remain as they always were but you will have a sense of purpose that has expanded to the point that they seem small in comparison. Of course, this all assumes that you are a good parent. Lord knows there are more than enough egoist fuckwads in the world who fail in their responsibilities as parents.

 

Tyson is not a good example of normal human experience.

You keep your own goals and they still matter to you, Tyson probably meant "by comparison." By comparison, I'll go without whatever I have to to make sure my kids are taken care of - but if I dont have to I'd like to accomplish some of my goals too.

 

Yes, having kids kill all your ambitions. Not to mention what it does to your sex life.

It's also a lot of fun. Also, day care is not as bad as some people make it out to be. The kids learn a lot by spending a few hours with other kids. They learn to interact and it prepares them for school.

They don't have to spend all day there though.