Does doing something for someone when they didn't ask you always deserve a thank you?

[Bacco]

Reply to the title is "99% yes"

Reply to the actual opening post is you should not let beta serial killers touch stuff in your room

 

[revoltub]

No, gratitude should be expressed when you're grateful for something. So if someone holds the door when you didn't ask, and you're grateful, you thank them. If someone comes to your place, makes a bunch of noise after being asked or told not to and won't let you just chill and decompress that's not a scenario that calls for gratitude.

If I come home from work and my nighbor is in my yard with a backhoe digging me a swimming pool, well that's very generous of him, but I don't want a pool and now my property is destroyed. I don't owe that guy my thanks for his generousity... also does anyone know the best way to refill a swiming pool hole?

Concrete?

 

[HUGHPHUG]

I think a selfless act can be selfish, I often do stuff that no one else knows I've done and deliberately don't tell anyone else about because it makes me feel good knowing I've done a selfless act which in turn makes it a selfish thing to do because I'm the only one that benefits from knowing I did it or something

 

[revoltub]

I think a selfless act can be selfish, I often do stuff that no one else knows I've done and deliberately don't tell anyone else about because it makes me feel good knowing I've done a selfless act which in turn makes it a selfish thing to do because I'm the only one that benefits from knowing I did it or something

 

[LEWIS540]

I've never been big into Xmas presents and me and my dad have had an agreement not to buy each other for about 10 years.

He got himself a new girlfriend a couple of years back and from about October she asked me what I wanted for Xmas on a weekly basis. Every time I told her that as a middle aged man I didn't really like getting gifts. Come Xmas day she presented me with 2 Hugo Boss shirts, as a "little something" from the two of them (ie my dad's credit card). I was a little annoyed, but whatever, not that big of a deal. Thanked her and moved on.

Come the next day, I tried the shirts on, but they were too small. They fit my brother, so I let him keep them.

Roll on a couple more weeks and the gf saw my brother wearing one of the shirts. My dad told me later his gf got a hysterical and started crying and screaming at what an ungrateful little shit I was etc.

Next time I saw her she said she was sorry the shirts didn't fit, and handed me another gift of 2 T shirts as a replacement, neither of which I liked and both sit in my brother's wardrobe to this day.

 

[Ichibanner]

I think that's the part that makes the acts not completely selfless. They're still great, the effects are not tainted in any measurable way, but there's a degree of selfishness to it.

In the instance of the little boy he couldn't not do what he did. It's in this little badass motherfucker to put his sister first. Plain and simple. But he would have been destroyed mentally and emotionally had he not done what he did. Sense of self-preservation kicked in...ok that's a stretch. That could be one of the few acts that don't fit the mold of the theory.

The little boy could very well have done nothing. He's definitely a little badass mf'er like you said. The fact that he put her first makes the act selfless to a "T". The possibility that he might have been devastated had he not acted accounts for an "after the fact" scenario, not during the event. Self preservation has ZERO bearing on the incident IMO as he was getting mauled for his heroics, with part of his face hanging off. If this instance doesn't fit the bill of being a selfless act nothing does.

Bridger Walker pictured with the little sister that he looked after. What a badass little hero and loving big brother.

 

[djacobox372]

I tend to think there are no selfless acts.

True, but good people get enjoyment out of making others happy, so while not selfless, it's close.

 

[OrwellianNightmare]

Yeah that's why I added egoism to the OP. I'm not 100% convinced that there are no selfless acts, but id say most are done for some selfish reason.

That's a really cynical way to look at people. I do believe there are selfless acts, but enforcing your help on someone when they're not asking for it is wrong and if you have power over that person then it becomes tyranny.

 

[OrwellianNightmare]

True, but good people get enjoyment out of making others happy, so while not selfless, it's close.

What would you call it when someone doesn't get enjoyment out of helping others, but does it because he thinks its the right thing to do?

 

[minute bull]

What would you call it when someone doesn't get enjoyment out of helping others, but does it because he thinks its the right thing to do?

Integrity. Wisdom. Honor. Nobility. Decency. Ethics. There are a host of words. We can't really get caught up in nomenclature here, or what once was. The huge mistake in judging a thing, beside the judging itself, is how it locks perspective inside the past and makes us forget how we each birth new moments.

The point is TS should have been more grateful, if only to spare himself from having to ruminate aloud.

 

[Domitian]

If somebody wants to come to my house and clean it I'm not going to say no. I'll throw in a thank you.

 

[lsa]

Not true, I let @lsa post here even though he causes all sorts of trouble and annoys me to no end.

and I am NOT grateful for that.