Does anyone see 'fake' happiness?

Discussion in 'Mayberry Lounge' started by TalkinNoise, Jun 8, 2014.

  1. TalkinNoise

    TalkinNoise Green Belt

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    I feel as if society in the US is pushing this pseudo-happiness down our throats, everything on the radio, all this 'get married' philosophy, etc.... it seems forced and fake.

    Am I a miserable bastard (serious question, I could very well be just a pessimistic person who's projecting my view on the world), or does anyone here agree with me? General question, not trying to make a big detailed OP, just your outlook on society and what seems to be 'pushed' now.

    Fuck Pinterest.
     
    Last edited: Jun 8, 2014
  2. Jack Reacheround

    Jack Reacheround Never Go Black

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    I think everyone just has the right prescription drugs and they aren't sharing them with us.
     
  3. Magooglie

    Magooglie Steel Belt

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    You're just a curmudgeon
     
  4. bcordova

    bcordova Brown Belt

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    It's crazy on Facebook. Some people I know post about how great their life is and I think " yea I know exactly how your life is".
     
  5. TalkinNoise

    TalkinNoise Green Belt

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    Lol this.

    I smoke some weed, so maybe I can't talk... but I don't take meds like that, no way no how. That's a recipe for disaster, I may be pessimistic but I'd never go on a shooting spree or have radical ups and downs and horrible marriages (behind closed doors) like some people I see in their 30s and 40s.

    Maybe I'm whining but it just feels lonely in general sometimes, I have a girlfriend and friends and everything, but sometimes looking at others it doesn't even look like they have a genuine understanding of love and compassion. Not saying I fully do, but I guess I put others before myself more than they seem to for me. It seems reoccurring and I wonder if this is just the way things are gonna be in society... 'every man for himself'. Maybe I need to start getting on this shit? Or maybe I'm a weak guy and need to change?

    I don't know, I'm at a point in my relationship now where she wants to get married (I'm only 21)... I guess I've been chewing over morality, intention, what 'success' means in life, and what men and women want. It just seems gloomy... so I listen to Keef and Durk, smoke dank, and train MMA haha. Don't worry I have a good paying job as well....

    My story, I know this isn't a personal blog, but this is how I'm viewing the world now. I guess it would just be a little more reassuring to know I'm not alone and hear shit from other people with the same interests. Maybe older dudes can chime in, did you go through this phase?
     
  6. irc

    irc Brown Belt

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    What's this "get married" thing you're referring to. Seems like there's been a societal war on marriage for as long as I can remember. Nobody's saying get married.
     
  7. TalkinNoise

    TalkinNoise Green Belt

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    Shit man, have you heard that deRulo song? Have you seen Pinterest in general? A ton of people my age are getting married to their first 'real' partners in their early 20s. I see so much shit about weddings not only in my personal life, but on reality tv and in the media.

    How old are you? Not trying to be a dick, but maybe if we're different ages our perspectives on things are different.

    I always preface shit that I say by saying that it's from my perspective and what I see, it could be narrow and I'm open to you expanding my view.
     
  8. genecop

    genecop Red Belt

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    I don't see it...did you ever notice you see things as it relates to where your head is at...
     
  9. TalkinNoise

    TalkinNoise Green Belt

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    Very well could be, that's what my dad said.

    I like your sig btw.
     
  10. ExquisitExamplE

    ExquisitExamplE Banned Banned

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    Remember that the world, is your mirror. Casting back at you the reflection, of that which you have projected into it. How many arguments do you find yourself engaging in? Is there bitterness and acrimony within the ranks? Do you look at others, and think about how you would like to change them? Or, do you love them, and accept them as they are?

    The quality of your relationships, is an excellent mirror from which to gauge the quality of your output. Or, in other words, that which you are Creating.
    Do you look at a person, and concentrate to a greater or lesser extent, upon the things that you dislike about them and wish would change, or the qualities that you like and admire in them?

    Remember that all thought, word, and deed, is Creative.

    You get back exactly what you send out.

    So, when you send out the thought "Why is she so hard to live with? Why is he always behaving like this?

    Ask yourself, what exactly are you doing?

    Now focus here, as this is so obvious, you could miss it. And in fact, most do.

    Take away the "question" from your sentence, and essentially, you are saying:

    "She is so hard to live with". "He is always behaving like this".

    Do you see what you are doing?

    Remember, All thought is creative..
     
  11. genecop

    genecop Red Belt

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    Dude you seem like you have a good head on your shoulders....just don't get married at 21 an you will be fine...
     
  12. genecop

    genecop Red Belt

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    Thanks, your dad is a wise man...
     
  13. TalkinNoise

    TalkinNoise Green Belt

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    Whoa, this is really deep and I agree with it. Thank you for this response, I'll re-read it a few times later.

    Question: what if you feel the person you're with isn't thinking the same way? Like I struggle with these ideas of self improvement and improving my relationships with loved ones... and the person I'm with doesn't appear to be? Even if I love them for the qualities they have in their personality, is it worth staying with and waiting to see if over time a deeper sense of bonding develops?

    I do focus on things I dislike about others from time to time, but semi-regularly I tell them things I like about them as well. For example I texted her the other day saying that I appreciate how she does little things for me when we're together, and how I admire her work ethic with the kids she works with (she's an ece teacher). I fully understand what you're saying though, it's the right way to view things.
     
  14. dawnslayer

    dawnslayer wizard

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    not bad for a guy with dubs.

    you probably plagiarized the shit out of someone.
     
  15. Gus Fring

    Gus Fring Brown Belt

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    Or when people with rich parents preach about how we should all appreciate the little things in life.
     
  16. ExquisitExamplE

    ExquisitExamplE Banned Banned

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    That question is one that you alone can answer, and one question which I believe will be answered correctly whether or not you decide to stay with this person; that's right, all paths lead to the same point eventually, so it's really up to you to decide which is worth your time and energy. Again though, to reiterate, no matter which path you choose, you absolutely cannot fail to accomplish that which you've come here to accomplish.

    Try this as an experiment:

    Take someone in your life, that you love, but sometimes have trouble getting along with.

    Think, about the thoughts you have projected about that person. The Negative thoughts. Ask yourself, does the behavior that you do not like in that person, in any way correspond to the thoughts you have been having about them? If you're honest with yourself, it's a strong bet that it does.

    Sure, they must have behaved that way in the first place, to make you notice that you didn't like it, but, we all have off days sometimes. The more you focus on that behavior, the more you are going to see of it. It's just Life, doing what it does, and conforming to your expectations about the way it will be for you.

    Now, having recognized this, what will you do about it?

    Simply notice your Negative thoughts as they arise, literally, "catch yourself" as you are having them. And then, simply change your perspective. Focus instead, about the things you like about this person. How you love their smile, the sound of their happy laughter; the way they do such and such nice thing, how helpful and loving they can be. Keep putting those positive thoughts out. Persevere, as you may have a bit of negative work to undo first, but just keep catching yourself, and focusing on the positive..

    Then prepare yourself for an "almost magical" transformation of your circumstances.

    Always monitor your thoughts, and pay attention to their Quality; because what you think about, is directly related to what you will see around you, and what Life will show you. It is the difference between conscious, and subconscious Creation.
     
  17. DangDaGawd

    DangDaGawd Defender of Rational Thought

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    I see the opposite actually. Seems like being overly cynical is really trendy in this country when most people have it better than 90% of the rest of the world.
     
  18. TeTe

    TeTe Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not Staff Member Senior Moderator

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    Sure, I see it all the time. These are the materialistic people who think that money and things are what makes the world go round. Meanwhile they have shitty relationships with people, hate their job, and don't know what to do with themselves when they don't have some expensive trip to go on, a new shiny car to drive or some $150 pair of jeans to squeeze into

    /rant.
     
  19. Torre

    Torre Orange Belt

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    Whatever you do, don't get married.
     
  20. TalkinNoise

    TalkinNoise Green Belt

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    You're killing it with these posts.... I'm gonna shoot you a friend request, I really value your outlook and opinion on things... the world needs more of that.

    I'm gonna be really honest: I was a cheater, and still am (but less, you'll see as you read). I'm sure it stems from something deeper, but I cheated a lot, in every relationship. I could never say no to sex, I love it and I feel like that plays a huge role in my decisions and personality. In my mind though, it was mindless, I never meant to disrespect my partner, it was just a young dude getting some on the side. The time we spent together I was yours and everything was sincere.

    Then we became long distance (I never cheated with her when we were in the same city btw, only after we became long distance. I cheated in relationships prior though)... I cheated but it was on the side and we still did our long distance thing. Scheduled trips to see each other, skyped and talked every night, texted every day, made plans for the future, etc.... even though I was getting my physcial fulfillment elsewhere, my heart and emotions were her's. She found out one time about it and forgave me on the spot... almost as if she needed me. I felt guilty but relieved our relationship was saved, I meant no ill will.

    Then our plans got wrinkled. My family lost money and I had to postpone our plans to live together. We were still long distance, but planning things became very uncertain as my family needed my physical and mental assistance with watching my little brother and their business, as well as some financial support.

    I noticed a change one day, she seemed to be talking to me with less respect. Snippy, almost mean comments. I did my best to save the relationship, skype more, text more, compliment more. Soon she wouldn't text after coming home late (we always did), texts became less frequent, smiled less. Started hanging with a dude she met.

    Well, I take time off work to visit her (it had been 6 months apart at this point). She drops the bomb on me in bed the first night we were together... she 'made out' with this guy in his car.

    'Why were you in his car?', 'You never told me you were driving around late at night.' 'You just kissed?' 'How long have these 'rides' been going on for?'. Truly questions I'd never thought I'd have to ask.

    To this day, I don't know if more occurred. My purest intuitions tell me more did, but is it just my own sense of guilt and insecurity showing? I'm the stereotype, a player who got played. It stings and it's forced me to improve myself and the way I view things, but I can't move on from this shit and it burns. It makes me so angry and... the worst part? I still haven't broken up with her. I'm at a total loss at what to do. She wants me to move to be with her and look to the future and part of me still wants to, but part of me feels hurt.
     
    Last edited: Jun 8, 2014

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